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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 02:49AM by FaZe_poopy https://ift.tt/BqtVPy7...
Your brain doesn’t fully mature until you’re about 25 years old
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 01:48AM by wafflepiezz https://ift.tt/zFSKZy9...
If a dating profile only has face pictures, there's a high chance the individual is overweight
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 12:40AM by LewBorg https://ift.tt/KBhmTWk...
The divorce rate among socks is absolutely ridiculous.
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 12:41AM by pkrish10 https://ift.tt/yMi1NVc...
Humans are willing to swim in the ocean, which is definitely full of cadavers, but won’t swim in a pool with 1 cadaver. So there is definitely a corpse to water ratio in which humans are willing to swim in.
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 12:43AM by McChicken-Nugget https://ift.tt/Jn5tA1W...
Your cat has all day to plot against you, and nothing better to do.
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 12:49AM by SomethingMoreToSay https://ift.tt/hC2H7qd...
It most have been hard for Neil Armstrong to scratch his face when he was on the moon.
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Submitted February 01, 2022 at 12:49AM by Movie_Advance_101 https://ift.tt/HZX9i1l...
So many pistachios get wasted every day because people fail to find them amongst the empty shells.
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 02:49AM by the_vakman https://ift.tt/0H2S4TU...
If Snow White's step mother could make a magic potion to change her appearance then she could've just made Snow White drink something that gradually darkened her skin.
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 01:49AM by waidoo https://ift.tt/tns7h52...
Most people genuinely don’t understand how terrifying a fully grown Hippo are.
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 12:39AM by Blackandheavy https://ift.tt/B4DPIWM...
Very few people are deep thinkers, most just regurgitate the opinions they have heard or read
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 12:40AM by schadenfreudender https://ift.tt/QzyVWYk...
At an Amusement Park You Can Never Be Sure Why The Guy in the Stall Next to You is Violently Throwing Up
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 12:46AM by Mixedbysaint https://ift.tt/TOZoxkb...
Vampires certainly get a lot of iron in their diet
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 12:48AM by ImKindaSlowSorry https://ift.tt/JgEmltV...
Orange is both a taste and a color
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Submitted January 31, 2022 at 12:48AM by CoreyS6 https://ift.tt/E9hAasY...
The people who planned the most murders haven't murdered anyone but are writers for detective series
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 02:49AM by Clec27 https://ift.tt/1sTeOX5...
The matrix is a real-life Morpheus' memoir adapted into a film by the agents so that no one ever takes it seriously
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 01:37AM by Patient_Management26 https://ift.tt/Gz5Y7xw...
We are all direct descendants of the Big Bang.
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 01:39AM by tobiastheowl https://ift.tt/9z48KPr...
Humans have probably killed more humans than Mother Nature herself
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 01:40AM by Avengingtheangels https://ift.tt/7LfZ1Jo...
When we colonize mars, the drinking establishments will be Mars Bars
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 01:45AM by dumbmoney99 https://ift.tt/rguBRbo...
As much as people talk about it, very few people have actually seen the tip of an iceberg
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 01:49AM by Spare-Percentage2566 https://ift.tt/yIahlAG...
Podcasts are digital but somehow have the same controls as an analog cassette.
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Submitted January 30, 2022 at 12:48AM by Tristan_Cleveland https://ift.tt/Y71IHQF...
If you're wearing noise-cancelling headphones and someone has to wave at you to get your attention, you have gone from being voice-activated to being motion-activated.
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Submitted January 29, 2022 at 04:45AM by SirSorgum https://ift.tt/3INid...
Microorganisms inside bongs get really high.
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Submitted January 29, 2022 at 03:45AM by _disengage_ https://ift.tt/3rXw4...
Pigeons really went from important resources used for delivering mail to magic trick gimmicks and park pests.
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Submitted January 29, 2022 at 02:47AM by AppleberryJames https://ift.tt/3G9U6...
Being stupid is the same as being dead because it's only painful for other people
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Submitted January 29, 2022 at 01:44AM by ZombieTheRogue https://ift.tt/3AGc4...
Most people will see more foreign countries in pictures than they will in person
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Submitted January 29, 2022 at 12:48AM by Antscannabis https://ift.tt/3rbQb...
The most fuel efficient vehicle wouldn’t have brakes.
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Submitted January 28, 2022 at 04:48AM by Rekkukk https://ift.tt/35zNC...
We sit right behind an exploding box hurtling us plus over 3k lbs of metal faster than the fastest animal and think nothing of the fact we can stop it all with the tap of a toe.
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Submitted January 28, 2022 at 03:49AM by freecain https://ift.tt/3r6I7...
2/22/22 could've been a Two-sday.
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Submitted January 28, 2022 at 02:46AM by windam1992 https://ift.tt/3rT3L...
If you buy really nice clothes for a homeless person people are gonna be less willing to give them money
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Submitted January 28, 2022 at 01:46AM by thescoobymike https://ift.tt/3o4wF...
If you went to the Moon with a Guinness World Records judge, you could set a ton of new records.
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Submitted January 28, 2022 at 12:43AM by Majorhavoc01 https://ift.tt/3G6RV...
The Flash still probably procrastinates.
Since everything the Flash does is experienced in normal time for him stuff like doing the dishes is still an obnoxious chore despite it seeming like only taking a second to others.
Submitted January 27, 2022 at 03:38AM by GandalfsHairyTaint https://ift.tt/3IH9u...
You're probably in some random people's camera roll, in the background of a picture.
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Submitted January 27, 2022 at 03:43AM by 7th_Spectrum https://ift.tt/3G3SM...
Being a serial killer used to be so easy.
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Submitted January 27, 2022 at 03:44AM by SIK1415 https://ift.tt/34eci...
The fact that most people would rather be sleeping than awake is proof enough they would choose to stay in the Matrix
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Submitted January 27, 2022 at 02:46AM by EridanusVoid https://ift.tt/3G4wG...
We do have the ability to regenerate our health, it just doesn't work like the way it does in video games.
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Submitted January 27, 2022 at 01:50AM by brandondsantos https://ift.tt/3AwVG...
Milk is the broth when you eat cereal.
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Submitted January 27, 2022 at 12:37AM by Meme_Investor https://ift.tt/3ICs5...
It's a shame we can't see moonbows at night when it rains...
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Submitted January 26, 2022 at 04:47AM by pm_your_masterpiece https://ift.tt/3H4p8...
Every decision, Every choice you make in life is out of free will but only to your past or present self. But for your future self, it's a predestined path that they walked without knowing.
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Submitted January 26, 2022 at 03:39AM by Kyro_Sol https://ift.tt/3fV1e...
There most definitely are singles in your area
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Submitted January 26, 2022 at 02:50AM by nelsonic1990 https://ift.tt/32vAt...
The water you drink was most likely already drank by someone else before you
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Submitted January 26, 2022 at 01:48AM by FlameN0ir https://ift.tt/33IVs...
Different parts of the universe can have completely different natural laws
There are phenomenons on earth that we can barely explain. Just imagine what’s going on 2 galaxies over
Submitted January 26, 2022 at 12:46AM by Dmtaylor7 https://ift.tt/3o0ei...
Cryptocurrencies are going to be the dot com bubble burst for the 2020’s.
With the exception of a handful they are simply a pyramid scheme. They have no value.
Submitted January 25, 2022 at 05:49AM by PumpingFeFe https://ift.tt/3KDBr...
Tom Felton and Jack Gleason both played evil blonde young characters in big franchises, are yet reportedly extremely nice, and mostly retired from acting
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Submitted January 25, 2022 at 03:48AM by TIFUstorytime https://ift.tt/35a6v...
We never watched our parents grow up, we only watched them grow old.
This is unless if the parent is not yet an adult.
Submitted January 25, 2022 at 02:47AM by Certified_Cichlid https://ift.tt/3nTiw...
There’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity
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Submitted January 25, 2022 at 01:48AM by Long-Improvement-894 https://ift.tt/346HM...
If there was a pill for a few hundred $ that could give you the power to snap your fingers at someone and kill them, most people would oppose it being widely available. But a firearms give you more or less that same power for a few hundred bucks. Except a squeeze instead of a snap.
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Submitted January 25, 2022 at 12:49AM by Jimithyashford https://ift.tt/3nVty...
Cutting one's head off is really cutting one's body off
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Submitted January 24, 2022 at 04:43AM by treestick https://ift.tt/3rCsU...
Professor X was killed and his mind was put into another body but winds up paralyzed again! That’s messed up!
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Submitted January 24, 2022 at 03:49AM by SpacemanSpiff6962 https://ift.tt/3FYgY...
If you can go to South Sudan you can do the thing you cand do if you can do it
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Submitted January 24, 2022 at 02:45AM by Icantthinkofaname678 https://ift.tt/33CaO...
If you distrust a person and test him/her (check phone or try to trap) then you are judged not on your distrust or your methods, but on whether or not the person passed the test.
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Submitted January 24, 2022 at 01:46AM by goss_reller https://ift.tt/3qTnq...
Fart is the soul of the food you eat
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Submitted January 24, 2022 at 12:49AM by Mysterious_Unit3970 https://ift.tt/3nRKv...
Most convenience fees are actually inconvenience fees.
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Submitted January 23, 2022 at 04:44AM by ajsecmp2 https://ift.tt/3qPvr...
If everything around you would suddenly be twice as big as normal, but you also became twice as big. you probably wouldn't even notice
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Submitted January 23, 2022 at 03:43AM by ToggleHD https://ift.tt/3nLmY...
There could be four dimensional beings all around you, at every passing moment of your life, and you wouldn't know.
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Submitted January 23, 2022 at 02:49AM by cycl0ne____ https://ift.tt/3IsRW...
Cleaning staff in hotels (and probably moreso in motels) are in constant danger of walking directly into crazy people's lives
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Submitted January 23, 2022 at 01:46AM by SexyTimeDoe https://ift.tt/3FZqO...
In the first star wars the talk about the exhaust port being only about 2 feet wide, meaning that they use the imperial system despite being in a highly advanced society.
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Submitted January 23, 2022 at 12:44AM by Haboos_World https://ift.tt/3KzO5...
Very surprised Cracker Jack didn’t go the way of Aunt Jemima
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 03:03AM by PalmSpringsKiki https://ift.tt/33DQn...
Barstool Sports is what Entertainment 720 from Parks and Rec wanted to be
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 01:55AM by sports_dude96 https://ift.tt/3IrAg...
The stereotypical beer drinker is lazy or stupid while Whisky is often depicted to be drank by smart business men. So in the process of making Beer to Whisky there is somewhere a middleground for just an average person.
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 12:31AM by Toxic_Smoke244 https://ift.tt/3tTkq...
Modern life is odd and unnatural in many aspects, but people don’t realize it
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 12:36AM by No-Ask-9748 https://ift.tt/3qMEd...
Kids might get pink eye more often than adults because they are in prime blasting gas height
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 12:40AM by Korietnam https://ift.tt/3ItHS...
Daytime sleeping feels so much better than nighttime sleeping.
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 12:42AM by sam_e5 https://ift.tt/3Iqrv...
Birds do not know why they can fly and fishes do not know why they can swim.
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Submitted January 22, 2022 at 12:43AM by astronishiyo https://ift.tt/3IvbX...
A google search for your life would really come in handy.
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Submitted January 21, 2022 at 04:48AM by Rockel1117 https://ift.tt/3GMRc...
Once roads are no longer needed there is going to be a shit ton of more land to develop
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Submitted January 21, 2022 at 03:49AM by moneybot13 https://ift.tt/3rDkJ...
From a topological protective, humans are shaped like doughnuts and our stomachs are on the outside of our body.
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Submitted January 21, 2022 at 02:49AM by brunieroo https://ift.tt/33CFw...
If mosquitoes tend to like you, your body would probably decompose faster if you die in the woods
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Submitted January 21, 2022 at 01:49AM by BallzDeep_Anxiety https://ift.tt/3qHOr...
There are dogs whom understand more of a foreign language than you
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Submitted January 21, 2022 at 12:50AM by ethanhopps https://ift.tt/33zqk...
If humans were no so cruel to one another, prison could be a pretty sweet gig.
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Submitted January 20, 2022 at 04:47AM by CharlesEcheeze https://ift.tt/33PJe...
The main reason people buy socks isn't because people wear through them. It's because they lose half of them.
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Submitted January 20, 2022 at 03:46AM by That_Guy2847 https://ift.tt/3GOzP...
If you just think of food that's been left out as dry aged, it doesn't seem so bad
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Submitted January 20, 2022 at 02:50AM by Omgzjustin https://ift.tt/3qHef...
Black bars on the sides of the screen are seen as ugly and annoying, but black bars at the top and bottom are seen as cool and cinematic.
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Submitted January 20, 2022 at 01:33AM by Broskfisken https://ift.tt/3IAJP...
Any of the top 1% could easily buy the Epipen company, hold it, and drop the price for us if they wanted to.
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Submitted January 20, 2022 at 12:49AM by lolwtftheyrealltaken https://ift.tt/3FIL0...
Living cows are raw meat.
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Submitted January 19, 2022 at 04:47AM by invalid_credentials https://ift.tt/32eH2...
It’s wild to think so much of what we produce and consume is not compostable or recyclable.
All this junk will outlast us ad individuals and a species.
Submitted January 19, 2022 at 03:47AM by bullshtr https://ift.tt/3rBqF...
Taking into consideration how big the universe is there has to be a penis shaped asteroid just floating around somewhere in space
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Submitted January 19, 2022 at 02:48AM by Rupertii https://ift.tt/33nFd...
There’s a good chance you’re wearing the same glasses frame the other people with your insurance have.
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Submitted January 19, 2022 at 01:49AM by Extremossss https://ift.tt/3tI1x...
After vomit feels better than pre-vomit
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Submitted January 19, 2022 at 12:48AM by COZYCARD https://ift.tt/3GHgi...
Everything revolves around rotation
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 02:49AM by rocksofiron https://ift.tt/3qxlf...
Women still complain about their periods even though the semicolon came out more than five centuries go
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 01:49AM by mandalorian-22 https://ift.tt/34Zr9...
Ask not for whom the Baja blasts, it blasts for thee.
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 12:35AM by OneCalledProphet https://ift.tt/3nyWJ...
All male virgins by default have touched a vagina at least once in their life...
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 12:37AM by CriticalCow6374 https://ift.tt/327FQ...
If tomato is a fruit then ketchup is a smoothie
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 12:41AM by umberto_pagano https://ift.tt/3FIPB...
If you touch eyeballs with someone else, your brains technically touched…
Why does that gross me out so much
Submitted January 18, 2022 at 12:41AM by Altruistic-Aspect-23 https://ift.tt/3nBsv...
Eye drops have braille code on them
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Submitted January 18, 2022 at 12:42AM by PM-Me-YourFeet-Pls https://ift.tt/3rpHf...
The ASPCA wouldn’t need to ask for more and more money if they did 30 second commercials instead of 2 minute commercials.
2 minute commercials can’t be cheap.
Submitted January 17, 2022 at 02:34AM by AmerisaurausRex https://ift.tt/3qHij...
if π is infinite then there is an encrypted biography of all the people who have lived and who will live
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 02:37AM by Sad_Hadvar https://ift.tt/3fsAl...
The first ever conflict between the first two human tribes was the WWI
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 02:39AM by Zen_21 https://ift.tt/3nvvg...
Vegans never asked for plant based meat
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 02:45AM by LennerKetty https://ift.tt/3nsMD...
The more languages you speak the harder it is to go somewhere and be able to tune out the people talking around you.
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 02:46AM by aguynamedbry https://ift.tt/3FyEh...
We'll know if a guy had a vasectomy if one of his ears was clipped similar to how veterinarians clipped pets' ears when they're neutered or spayed.
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 01:49AM by MaChao20 https://ift.tt/3ts0H...
Most therapists become therapists because they need a therapist
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Submitted January 17, 2022 at 12:48AM by operator139 https://ift.tt/3A6wX...
We are closer to 2070 than to 1970
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 02:44AM by limacharley https://ift.tt/3nx0g...
One of the biggest challenges of every movie is keeping the list of people involved in the production to include them in the credits scene
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 02:44AM by iki_kelime https://ift.tt/3fqzi...
A computer mouse has its cable in the front, but a keyboard has its in the rear, yet both cables come out in the same direction.
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 02:47AM by CubedCharlie https://ift.tt/34Vwq...
Betty White was older than MLK, but these black and white photos got people thinking he’s ancient
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 02:50AM by GroundbreakingAd7855 https://ift.tt/3rg2z...
If we had 100% perfect memories we could re-watch movies anytime we wanted.
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 01:48AM by ChrisDeBruyne27 https://ift.tt/3qung...
Every number system has 10 different numbers
Take for example hexadecimal (0-9 a-f), it has 16 different numbers. How would the number 16 be represented in hexadecimal? Exactly, 10. Same applies for binary and any other number system.
Submitted January 16, 2022 at 12:46AM by AceKiron https://ift.tt/3fuJ1...
It’s more likely to win the sperm race then winning the lotery
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Submitted January 16, 2022 at 12:47AM by MithrandirElessar https://ift.tt/3qy0D...
Humankind are born to do three things: self-preservation, resource acquisition, and replication. We are not born to be happy. Realize that and try to be happy when you do what are you born to do.
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Submitted January 15, 2022 at 04:47AM by california_puppy https://ift.tt/3GyTz...
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
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Submitted January 15, 2022 at 03:48AM by redbeardatx https://ift.tt/3tuvo...
There is a good chance your pet’s hair has traveled to more places than you’ll ever go.
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Submitted January 15, 2022 at 02:50AM by zThrice https://ift.tt/3KnRH...
we like dad jokes because they are in nature docile and domesticated, just like we want our actual dads to be like
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Submitted January 15, 2022 at 01:50AM by Deep-Room6932 https://ift.tt/3zWQ1...
You will fall if you don't hold what holds you
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Submitted January 15, 2022 at 12:48AM by IllustriousIsopod141 https://ift.tt/3qpfg...
Transparent PNGs would make a great NFTs.
Most PNG images are fake, they don't actually downloaded as transparent when you right-click and save it. You must visit the website, enjoy some ads, and hit that download button. There's no pirate way to download real transparent PNGs. Which makes them NFT-able.
Submitted January 14, 2022 at 05:48AM by BirchDesktop471 https://ift.tt/34U1y...
Reheated steak will always be slightly more over cooked than you like it
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Submitted January 14, 2022 at 04:48AM by Extension_Island_913 https://ift.tt/34Pke...
In under a minute you move more than you’ll ever walk, run, bike, drive, or fly combined, just from the earth floating in space.
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Submitted January 14, 2022 at 03:47AM by Xoliechair https://ift.tt/3GrRz...
Being born is a death sentence
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Submitted January 14, 2022 at 02:49AM by CryptographerNaive40 https://ift.tt/33tCO...
You’ll sit there not thinking about anything then think about how you’re not thinking about anything and end up thinking about not thinking about anything
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Submitted January 14, 2022 at 01:45AM by Mikefitz101 https://ift.tt/3I03F...
Not everything is free…
We pay it all off in our taxes
Submitted January 14, 2022 at 12:48AM by Dish-Consistent https://ift.tt/31WNp...
you can't leave your comfort zone if you always bring it with you
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 07:40AM by kingkemical https://ift.tt/339nD...
Elmo really comes to life when he gets fisted.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 07:45AM by Casual_Importance https://ift.tt/3Frb7...
The distinction between pet and wild animal seems to be about how much damage/death that animal could dish out if we lost control of it.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 07:48AM by chili81 https://ift.tt/3FlsI...
It must be hard for the jannies here to eat hungry man meals every night
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 07:50AM by millerl05 https://ift.tt/34QSw...
Power without mercy is dangerous,Mercy without power is humorous.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 07:50AM by vsihebisvb3ub1748 https://ift.tt/3Goq9...
There's a universe where the marvel cast are actually their perspective hero
Imagine. Chris Evans is actually Cap. And Scarlett Johansson is the hottest Russian spy 😏
Submitted January 13, 2022 at 06:42AM by NoHypeX https://ift.tt/3nlQh...
It's a good thing that console games don't have ads that cover your entire screen in the middle of gameplay unlike most mobile games
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 06:42AM by imamuffin18 https://ift.tt/33fgW...
Every guy has at least one girl's phone number: 0
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 06:48AM by TheyCallMeDrAsshole https://ift.tt/3noCk...
Fail videos have helped decrease the number of fail videos.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 06:48AM by JackMcKracken https://ift.tt/3tjDP...
The difference between salsa and marinara is negligible.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 06:49AM by ScrubNickle https://ift.tt/3K0zy...
Alcohol is bad for a pregnancy, but is the cause of many.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 05:49AM by LWDJM https://ift.tt/3fgO7...
Turning and Flipping could be in any direction yet turning is usually horizontal while flipping vertical
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 04:48AM by Stratatician https://ift.tt/3Gp8p...
Experience will always eventually change places with ability.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 03:50AM by Pornelius_McSucc https://ift.tt/3tmrI...
Freaky Friday and Face Off have the same premise.
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 02:43AM by Zompocalypse https://ift.tt/3GrWM...
Immortality is not a super-power, it is a curse
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 01:49AM by tap1507 https://ift.tt/3tiDt...
2017 was 5 years ago
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Submitted January 13, 2022 at 12:49AM by COZYCARD https://ift.tt/3I3Y4...
The world of a decade or two ago might as well be a hundred years in the past with how different it looks and feels.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 06:48AM by JLGoodwin1990 https://ift.tt/3Fl8O...
you csnt tickle yourself like someone else is able to tickle you But you can madterbate to completion by hand ( and likley a lot better than if someone else tried it the way you're doing it)
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 06:50AM by ManOfManifest https://ift.tt/3Fwcm...
If keyboards were initially designed with the arrow keys on the left, we might have been using those instead of WASD.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 06:50AM by bdgamer08 https://ift.tt/3rbZv...
Dogs hate vacuum cleaners not just because of their noise, but because it’s sucking up all of the scents they’re used to. It’s like a loud, scent-destroying machine to them that seems like it’s chasing them down.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 05:30AM by dezwatz https://ift.tt/3zOSq...
For some the quality of the nap is proportional to the amount of drooling on the pillow
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 05:38AM by RedpilledChris https://ift.tt/34BTt...
Snakes don't know sound exist.
Because they are deaf, and snakes.
Submitted January 12, 2022 at 05:39AM by marienator https://ift.tt/3tigO...
You’ve appeared in a strangers dream
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 05:41AM by Glocatico https://ift.tt/3re8G...
The Gangnam Style is the only K-Pop song that most people know
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 05:42AM by SoyUnFracaso https://ift.tt/3nhQT...
Lots of houses with cats are probably haunted but we just chalk it up to the cat making noises.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 04:41AM by diggy_doc https://ift.tt/3qexQ...
We are all transportation devices for shit
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 04:43AM by Commander_Codiene https://ift.tt/3IcT7...
There are two types of people: (1) those who think there are two types of people; and (2) those who don't
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 04:43AM by quasar18 https://ift.tt/3Gk9b...
numbers from one to ten have no A in them
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 04:48AM by jjoosseeffii https://ift.tt/33pjx...
The artist in music videos would look like a freak in public without the camera team filming them
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 04:50AM by Alexander-Brandt https://ift.tt/33swr...
If you’re small enough, pointy things aren’t so pointy.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 03:46AM by Davy_Dee https://ift.tt/3Fil3...
The most extreme form of a low risk low return strategy is to not invest any money at all.
At least you won't lose more money than you would to inflation 🙊
Submitted January 12, 2022 at 02:45AM by dodoug https://ift.tt/3zOP6...
There is no perfect milk to cereal ratio
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 01:49AM by Bramthos https://ift.tt/3GoEp...
We idolize old, small, and/or tight knit communities because we live in a new, enormous, dysfunctional one.
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Submitted January 12, 2022 at 12:48AM by 4606120 https://ift.tt/3HSJc...
The sound of rain and the sound of frying bacon is the exact same.
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 04:45AM by HAD7 https://ift.tt/31MLm...
It's impossible to take somebody seriously when they have the hiccups
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 03:43AM by Strange-Glove https://ift.tt/3r2rd...
If they creamate Bob Saget, it'll be The 2nd Roast of Bob Saget
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 03:45AM by RonMacDougall https://ift.tt/3f8vC...
we’re starting a new series of 20’s 30’s 40’s … etc…
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 02:39AM by rohzel https://ift.tt/3f8Y8...
Being 'shit' and being 'the shit' are to comepletely seperate things.
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 01:41AM by Legen_unfiltered https://ift.tt/3zJGE...
Execute stands for both starting a task and abruptly ending one.
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Submitted January 11, 2022 at 12:48AM by BlueShift42 https://ift.tt/33jrL...
No one has a television that rests on the floor anymore.
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Submitted January 10, 2022 at 05:49AM by Bjarki56 https://ift.tt/33hBa...
It's totally possible that you can have an intense argument with a stranger online and then randomly pass by them on the street somewhere, and be completely unaware.
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Submitted January 10, 2022 at 04:47AM by ejsfsc07 https://ift.tt/3F9S8...
Elevators are the closest experience we get to a teleporter (if you don't look too much into its mechanics of course)
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Submitted January 10, 2022 at 03:43AM by Helius1108 https://ift.tt/3ncgW...
Some people pay more for a car without a roof, but pays extra just for the car to have a roof.
idk if i said this right
Submitted January 10, 2022 at 02:44AM by croco_chomp https://ift.tt/3FaND...
when calling a bitch a son of a dog the only mistake you've made is to gender incorrectly.
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Submitted January 10, 2022 at 01:47AM by Thermomixinitup https://ift.tt/3F6Ld...
Having kids with more than one person is considered trashy unless you’re rich
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Submitted January 10, 2022 at 12:48AM by promemermove1 https://ift.tt/3n532...
Professor Lupin pooped outside on the regular.
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 05:50AM by Joseph_BMoC https://ift.tt/3F8jx...
The most commonly broken law is probably the one requiring indicators while driving
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 05:50AM by username-error-707 https://ift.tt/3G45J...
Socks have really good memories.
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 04:49AM by Gary_October https://ift.tt/3n8sc...
technically, the whole OnlyFans concept of taking pictures of yourself and selling it for profit was invented by Stan Lee in the Spider-Man comics...
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 03:49AM by LoreMaster00 https://ift.tt/3GewY...
Choosing a birthday card for somebody in hospital is more difficult than usual, because anything relating to having a great day is not exactly appropriate.
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 02:49AM by Scallywagstv2 https://ift.tt/3HPPH...
Technically, all male dogs are sons of bitches
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 01:47AM by DimesyEvans92 https://ift.tt/3qTwG...
Most people actually aren’t good people.
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Submitted January 09, 2022 at 12:46AM by rhyfti https://ift.tt/3zLcw...
We actually all suck at vacuuming.
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 05:46AM by DerpyPlayz18 https://ift.tt/32ZWY...
A fly without wings is a walk
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 04:49AM by Oogway-The-Immortal https://ift.tt/33cer...
Games like Mortal Kombat and Grand Theft Auto don't make people violent. Games like Mario Kart and Mario Party do.
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 03:46AM by DanarchyReigns https://ift.tt/3zzVv...
Mass Spectrometer works on the same principle as bashing wheat against the thrashing floor and sweeping off the hull
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 02:46AM by BConscience https://ift.tt/3G1eq...
Your dog probably doesn’t even know you have a set of teeth
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 01:49AM by paperchampionpicture https://ift.tt/3n5UU...
Destiny is an effect awaiting a cause.
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Submitted January 08, 2022 at 12:46AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3HEFX...
people born with a parasitic twin had a dead body attached to them
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:41AM by night_a_traveller https://ift.tt/3eVLK...
There's no logical way to tell a soup from a sauce, and sometimes from a drink, even.
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:41AM by totally_a_human_rly https://ift.tt/3eXC6...
You wouldn't know if you are dead
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:42AM by lotmethinkforAminute https://ift.tt/339SM...
The world's largest person probably has the world's largest organ because of their skin's surface area.
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:43AM by ALPHABOGDOG https://ift.tt/3qO1L...
Boomers may have taken all the good real estate, but millennials took all the good internet handles.
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:44AM by plannedgravy https://ift.tt/3n5a6...
Ears can percieve sound, but are the sole orifice in your body that can't make sounds.
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:45AM by totally_a_human_rly https://ift.tt/3eUJY...
Saying that you sacrifice millions of unborn children for pleasure is very ominous, unless you realise its masturbation
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:49AM by AsterSkotos24 https://ift.tt/32WuK...
There is a good chance no person has ever experienced braces in reverse
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:49AM by aCuppaJoe https://ift.tt/3t0zu...
There are people in the world who have never seen a squirrel. If you told them to imagine a squirrel, they wouldn't know where to begin without an internet search.
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:50AM by terriblehashtags https://ift.tt/3t45z...
The concept of money doesn’t work out that well in a high tech society. It’s hard to tell how much knowledge, work or skill went into creating something.
It’s also difficult to discern the outcomes of various tech endeavors.
Submitted January 07, 2022 at 04:49AM by TryingtoGetWell28 https://ift.tt/3JNXg...
The amount of Money a movie makes at the box office is more indicative of how good its marketing was than how good it actually is
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 03:33AM by MainstreamAcceptance https://ift.tt/3t36N...
Buying personalised number plates is the real life version of paying for a cool username in a game
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 03:35AM by Hippowned https://ift.tt/32O8l...
astronauts come back to earth spaced
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 03:40AM by PuntTheRunt010 https://ift.tt/34xK6...
With a fast enough escalator and you can roll uphill forever
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 03:42AM by SlutForTurtles https://ift.tt/3Gajg...
If Reversing aging becomes possible like Harvard's Dr. Sinclair thinks is possible . . .Michael Jordan is gonna make the NBA exciting again
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 03:49AM by Catch11 https://ift.tt/3zyAl...
No chess piece is stronger than another, only more mobile
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 02:48AM by AinNoWayBoi61 https://ift.tt/3q2cb...
An icy ground will drop anyone on site
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 01:46AM by inuoso06 https://ift.tt/3pZJa...
Men with beards, who don't like pubes on women, shouldn't be allowed to give them head
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Submitted January 07, 2022 at 12:49AM by Hippowned https://ift.tt/3qRy1...
In Japan, it's possible that a song considered a classic hit was also used as an anime opening/ending
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 08:41AM by fuzzycholo https://ift.tt/3pWaf...
If you had an invisible car you couldn't park it anywhere because other cars would always be crashing into it.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 08:45AM by Lachigan https://ift.tt/3eWKP...
When you’re trying to sleep, a soft occasional noise is annoying but when you add much louder constant noise over top of that to cover it up you sleep right away.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 08:46AM by birdoutofwater https://ift.tt/3HBxq...
You will probably live long enough to see every actor you've known since childhood die.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 08:49AM by YELAwolf123 https://ift.tt/3qQBn...
Your tongue knows exactly how everything you look at will taste.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 08:49AM by jerinth1902 https://ift.tt/3zC4n...
Hey Fever Is An Intolerance To Plant Bukkake.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 05:49AM by Hawk-Face https://ift.tt/3zstI...
If you went through vasectomy, and your wife/gf feels suddenly nauseated, you get neurotic af.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 04:49AM by boobiesappreciator https://ift.tt/34g6E...
You can learn a lot about someone just by seeing what ads they get
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 03:48AM by brunoancic31 https://ift.tt/3HF1t...
The Kafkaesque paradigm of Orwellian myopathy coincides with the photosynthetic incites of Dostoevsky.
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 02:46AM by Charlieworkgiraffe https://ift.tt/3JMxY...
Televised Insurance Spokesperson is the 2nd most secure gig in showbiz after Marketed to Boomers Game Show Host
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Submitted January 06, 2022 at 01:48AM by Darth_Kahuna https://ift.tt/3EXsr...
A text that is translated to and fro for a number of languages (using Google translate) works just like a hash function.
Hash function is one way function, you can check that the inputs are same by only comparing the output. Decoding the output directly to input is impossible.
Submitted January 06, 2022 at 12:47AM by Bobby_bayia https://ift.tt/3pXbq...
One of the most seen penises of the world is a baby’s penis
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 05:45AM by grandBBQninja https://ift.tt/3sZl3...
There is infinite colors but screens can only show 16 777 217 of them.
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 04:50AM by Ragonvald https://ift.tt/3HRsh...
Michael Scott from the office is spoken about so badly by his employees yet he has a low employee turnover rate.
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 03:39AM by bwood22_22 https://ift.tt/31tJ3...
The plural of computer mouse is perplexing
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 02:50AM by zerglet13 https://ift.tt/3eNaj...
If you have a identical twin brother, you could impregnate his wife without him ever knowing about it.
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 01:50AM by itSmellsLikeSnotHere https://ift.tt/3pQq6...
Going to the gym is probably the healthiest vice a person can have
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Submitted January 05, 2022 at 12:52AM by Spew42 https://ift.tt/3sXSV...
In super cold climates, a refrigerator is actually a heater.
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 05:48AM by Galaksee https://ift.tt/3qRTu...
Perhaps the reason why WNBA is not popular is because bookies couldn’t fix the games.
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 04:43AM by RevolutionFriendly56 https://ift.tt/3qJHw...
People who photographed historic events have no proof they were present for said event
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 03:47AM by Taaaaaaaannnnnnnner https://ift.tt/3mSVe...
Even if they give you the day off , a major Holiday falling on a weekend feels like you got cheated out of a day off.
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 02:48AM by WongoKnight https://ift.tt/3EKtf...
Humans are the only mammals that have successfully learned how to fly
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 01:47AM by ChoicePark1577 https://ift.tt/3sUaU...
Orchestras are cover bands for classical music.
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Submitted January 04, 2022 at 12:46AM by GdoubleWB https://ift.tt/3qNJl...
Related to u/mrseaturtleYT 's post, deaf people also do not have a voice in their head.
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 05:42AM by ThatColdSideOfPillow https://ift.tt/32IMf...
A person’s way of sweeping is a pretty good representation of how they live their life
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 05:43AM by Provennebula https://ift.tt/3zgeh...
We're merely a complex fragile organ inside a skull controlling a body.
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 05:46AM by P0mb0 https://ift.tt/3HoDb...
Flies probably think bug zappers are much more humane than fly paper.
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 05:47AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/3pPmX...
Underwear serves 2 purposes 1 as a fart filter 2nd to keep shit from getting on your pants
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 05:48AM by notherefor-the-upvot https://ift.tt/3ELH0...
Boredom is Relaxation Unrealized
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 04:50AM by TechnoBlaze https://ift.tt/349Cu...
Country music is emo music for rednecks
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 03:48AM by icelandicnights https://ift.tt/3mP5n...
the truth will set you free, unless you’re a whistleblower
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 03:49AM by chizass https://ift.tt/3F0bY...
You can send messages to your future self, but you can't send messages to your past self.
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 02:47AM by SirGentlemanOstrich https://ift.tt/3EMOr...
In the Seinfeld series Jerry's character is a womanizing serial dater.
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 01:48AM by CyberBroccoli https://ift.tt/3mPtE...
As males we never really ‘scratch’ our balls it’s more of a pinch n rub method that no one teaches us and we just learn it by ourselves
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Submitted January 03, 2022 at 12:50AM by pepsiMaxCherry42069 https://ift.tt/3FPYb...
People who think that everyone use them are the same people who think they are useless
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 06:30AM by Nickleo02300 https://ift.tt/3zh68...
Meditation teachers get paid to tell people to sit down and shut up
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 06:33AM by MitchLeBlanc https://ift.tt/3eJ8u...
Bakersfield California is little texas
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 06:37AM by Stoopidshthead https://ift.tt/3Hx6A...
Turtles are fast as fuck it’s tortoises that are slow
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 06:46AM by RasheenHyuga https://ift.tt/32PAz...
Tech CY hoons are the future Oil CY hoons
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 06:48AM by Dabeeeeeeed https://ift.tt/3G1Zs...
Of all of the fruit flavored/scented things out there, citrus flavors/scents like orange and lemon are the most accurate.
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 05:50AM by Shutupcatlady https://ift.tt/3eMpa...
If fish had the same word for us that we do for them, a human and a lion would both be a fish.
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 04:47AM by UnderTheWrongStar https://ift.tt/3G1QY...
People with less than 10 fingers could probably get a discount at a nail salon
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 03:50AM by JustLeafy2003 https://ift.tt/3qJYM...
New Years Eve is celebrated in the same location in the solar system each year.
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 02:48AM by marktamblin https://ift.tt/3JACD...
Not only have we all been in the same room as our parents whilst they engaged in sexual activity (when pregnant) but we have technically also participated in it as we were inside our mothers womb
Ew
Submitted January 02, 2022 at 01:47AM by ailbhe-caterina https://ift.tt/3qIqW...
When Betty White was 49 y/o she still had 50 y left to live.
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Submitted January 02, 2022 at 12:47AM by Gary_October https://ift.tt/3FPiR...