Submitted September 01, 2022 at 03:47AM by NotAFanOfBTS https://ift.tt/SWK9Odz
There isn't a single person on the planet who is married.
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 03:47AM by NotAFanOfBTS https://ift.tt/SWK9Odz
Age is but a number between 18 and 25 - Leo
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:42AM by I_am_unique6435 https://ift.tt/cVryjZv
Leonardo DiCaprio has watches older than his girlfriends.
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:44AM by I_am_unique6435 https://ift.tt/P3zmfQd
Every family has a hot cousin.
And if you can't immediately picture them, you're probably the hot cousin.
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:48AM by dyt-lurk https://ift.tt/hInfVJR
The cost of gas, food, goods and rent go up together, but the cost of labor stays the same.
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 01:31AM by Dry-Rub https://ift.tt/ek7XtoY
Water tastes better when it has no taste
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 12:45AM by magicmantesla https://ift.tt/8NpiUfV
A bad haircut grows on you
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:57AM by thisoneguy_ https://ift.tt/q9PlBVY
The invention and innovation of internal combustion really truly completely fucked us.
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:58AM by Jizz-wat-it-Jizz https://ift.tt/bzSHaUc
It seems extremely primitive to label years based on the approximate birth of one particular ancient dude. And not only the years that have passed since, but all the years that had gone by before he was born.
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:59AM by roostertree https://ift.tt/UBWAJh6
Getting a man to handle his feelings and complexities appropriately is as difficult as programming a robot to process emotions correctly. If AI is successful, it’ll be robots who teach us to be better human beings.
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:07AM by UhnotmeusAnonymous https://ift.tt/7RMhgl8
Clothing is for keeping skin protected from outside sources of dirt, so public seating is dirtier than public toilets
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 01:58AM by kskelts https://ift.tt/UBvGir4
Good drivers of the UK (possibly elsewhere)
Just thought that we, who drive properly (including in bus lanes when allowed) will be more than likely to get a ticket because we forget the time on the odd occasion. The idiots that drive on the outside lane all day (avoiding the bus lane always) won't ever be caught.
That's actually infuriated me 😂
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 12:45AM by ActualGuarantee1599 https://ift.tt/I9Oq4cj
Since people who don't wear shoes tend to develop calluses, shoes are effectively prosthetic calluses.
Submitted August 30, 2022 at 04:36AM by Revegelance https://ift.tt/rzguJ2Z
They’re probably more grains of dirt on earth than they’re stars in the universe
Submitted August 30, 2022 at 03:59AM by Support-Less https://ift.tt/NQUjx0P
Banks are often the nicest and least visited buildings.
Submitted August 30, 2022 at 02:51AM by BellyScratchFTW https://ift.tt/x2o0HkI
In a Top 10 list, it's always #10 - #2 that are the most interesting.
Submitted August 30, 2022 at 01:35AM by PokeMaster366 https://ift.tt/qf6zm8Y
You see a lot of stories about millionaires taking risks and becoming billionaires but you never see stories about a people with just $1,000 becoming a millionaire.
Submitted August 30, 2022 at 12:48AM by _Jimmy_Rustler https://ift.tt/Txd6yrJ
Body can produce all states of matter
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 04:50AM by PanwZx https://ift.tt/QUsmzMq
In football, the defensive team's job is to attack the other team, while the offensive team has players dedicated to defending.
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 03:46AM by side_lel https://ift.tt/2Fyaoxn
Ever since the inception of karaoke in the 90s, it showed that the ability to sing rather well was actually very common.
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 02:45AM by Digitek50 https://ift.tt/fCRa13Y
Odds are that many brilliant ideas and inventions went undeveloped, because people were too lazy or pessimistic to follow through
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 01:50AM by schadenfreudender https://ift.tt/9MzCvZy
The most and least natural things are both green
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:48AM by DinksterDaily https://ift.tt/L4Vd6ot
Depressive realism is the great equaliser.
When things are going well, depressive realism pulls you back. When things are going terribly, depressive realism brings you up, or is it just nihilism?
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 04:32AM by 61571 https://ift.tt/czpoXw2
You normally can't feel your legs, you get uncomfortable when you do.
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 03:50AM by Dude-i-fucked-up https://ift.tt/83TXfjZ
Bigfoot doesn't have a forehead.
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 02:55AM by ImHumanStick https://ift.tt/FJrhYwo
A recession is kind of like an economic forest fire.
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 02:20AM by LiwetJared https://ift.tt/ZNQuj71
Billionaires have to buy new socks when they get holes in them too
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 01:02AM by Emotional-Ebb4506 https://ift.tt/67Q9LlK
Steel is more elastic than rubber.
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 02:15AM by hearsdemons https://ift.tt/VMjR3ai
Guys with ADD probably jack off more because of the increased benefit of post-nut clarity.
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:18AM by peterpeteranimeeater https://ift.tt/RZguiM6
Starbucks sounds less like a coffeeshop and more like a rewards program.
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:21AM by LeKrispyKreme https://ift.tt/zouJSHp
Making a quick trip to Jupiter doing the headstand is the next generational facelift and BBL
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:22AM by ProfessionalArm3571 https://ift.tt/Bjk4rX1
We keep our wishes to ourself so they can come true. We keep our fears to ourselves so they don’t come true.
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:31AM by Meanwhile-in-Paris https://ift.tt/lTwj7ds
Directions via Google Maps expect that you will speed
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:53AM by timmler24 https://ift.tt/GSMbD6B
Taking photos has replaced saying grace before meals
Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:14AM by technicallynotlying https://ift.tt/kVpiYPW
An arrow is technically always right side up
Submitted August 26, 2022 at 04:34AM by telephonekiosk https://ift.tt/zAPKpBh
As a group, the most romantically open-minded people are the blind bisexuals.
Submitted August 26, 2022 at 03:22AM by CreampieQueef https://ift.tt/xzgdqkh
It is very awkward telling your family that you have sex, but saying that you are trying to have a baby with your partner, then its considered sweet.
Submitted August 26, 2022 at 02:16AM by ogadeeen https://ift.tt/BAiv4bI
The songs you really like never seem to be the ones that get permanently stuck in your head
Submitted August 26, 2022 at 01:17AM by magicmantesla https://ift.tt/OQNlus7
The fact that the word palindrome is not a palindrome is a real missed opportunity.
Submitted August 26, 2022 at 12:16AM by farnsworthfan https://ift.tt/JNDW9pT
There is probably a real tree that has the same number of leaves as people in your family.
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:32AM by Axe_Ragnarok1 https://ift.tt/Rdgmt5e
Topologically speaking, we are a donut
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:38AM by EDEN-_ https://ift.tt/gMv8HFP
Walking through a doorway makes you forget things because you're scanning a new environment instinctively.
Even if unconsciously.
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:49AM by Fuzzyphilosopher https://ift.tt/XDN1l73
A broken clock is still correct at two times of the day.
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 02:47AM by Niceify_ https://ift.tt/wkQdnSz
You always hear about short men having a supposed Napoleon complex but you never hear about an Idi Amin complex for adult bullies who were always the biggest kid in class
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 01:41AM by Zealousideal_Ad_1604 https://ift.tt/g9ypHxn
As more cars and engines are converted to electric, little boys will need new loud sounds to make with their mouths.
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 12:44AM by jay0lee https://ift.tt/EzxPsGy
In the Jesper’s Creepers series, one may argue the Creeper truck is the true villain, as it gets much more runtime than the creeper himself.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 02:46AM by Methionylth https://ift.tt/mvIu4qj
Deciding to have a baby when you feel absolutely ready is kind of like starting a new game +
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:02AM by comeonsomebody https://ift.tt/6BMLAb8
Retractable headlights are probably the only thing we prefer to be stuck up.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:07AM by depersonalised https://ift.tt/PjmHTyW
Dino nuggets have come from evolved dinosaurs.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:18AM by Cowribcage https://ift.tt/z5DQtCq
Before he left Caladan, Paul Atriedes was probably at least an average surfer.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:31AM by cipher446 https://ift.tt/7W8mIT5
Dodge’s first EV will be a Charger.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:38AM by CornerMoon https://ift.tt/4nc2NH6
Parentheses are math condoms
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 12:40AM by sup3rchunk https://ift.tt/3OjeoSc
Bruce Campbell not being in a Troma movie is a damn tragedy.
Maybe he was or not that’s all I’m drank ✌️
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 07:29AM by krys2lcer https://ift.tt/JenGa37
The dinning experience at IKEA is better than most restaurants
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 03:49AM by UsedToothpick https://ift.tt/aWD39Kp
Peter Parker was lucky he wasn’t bitten by a radioactive dung beetle.
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 02:49AM by big_macaroons https://ift.tt/HMmsI2l
More people care about than you think, but less people are concerned about you than you think
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 01:44AM by unclerudy https://ift.tt/9AQ7JgF
The same refining process that made Red Delicious apples gradually terrible also happened to large oranges
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 12:46AM by Phlegmagician https://ift.tt/CvBYFmd
You’re probably the only member of your family to not be able to recognize the sounds of your own steps walking up the stairs
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 01:39AM by supersonic_socks_ https://ift.tt/KM8oTv1
You’ll often see animals named after their disabilities, like a one eyed bird named winky. But you’ll rarely meet a human born without an arm named stumpy
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:23AM by Antwux_Sarola https://ift.tt/KcYHvoN
It’s impossible to answer the question ”how much you want something” until you tried to achieve it.
Was thinking about weight loss for example. It’s not uncommon for someone to say ”they’d do anything to lose weight”, but then they’re still not able to change their whole lifestyle to achive their goal.
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:26AM by Hundlordfart https://ift.tt/hcTrY86
You shouldn't compare yourself to others you don't live with them, therefore you don't know what there going through
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:28AM by Comfortable_Ad5802 https://ift.tt/yibwU9n
Saying you were thinking outloud sounds a lot less crazy than you saying you were talking to yourself
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:36AM by RemmiLeBeau https://ift.tt/aK6iDPs
Everyone passes the halfway point of their life without realizing it
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:36AM by dpo11122 https://ift.tt/w4xMjyh
80% of working a corporate job is spent making and editing powerpoint presentations…
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:37AM by Yep_this_is_discreet https://ift.tt/x3X8AWT
Pet fish probably think they own a human terrarium.
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 02:41AM by jupiterjones3 https://ift.tt/Ht7qkwQ
Animals probably replay memories in their heads too.
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 01:43AM by Fearless_Doctor7872 https://ift.tt/6HeaWC1
We’re 5-10 years away from people not being able to sign a mortgage loan because they were never taught cursive.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 11:57PM by robot_handjob https://ift.tt/D5mSdhB
All singing is technically breathtaking
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:12AM by datboidat https://ift.tt/d7XW8eg
Females, on an average, have to likely imagine male bodies much more than the other way around due to how fashion typically fits each sex.
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:14AM by gelypse https://ift.tt/QT4BCn1
Every flying object is an unidentified flying object until you figure out what it is
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:18AM by TheRealBabyJesus69 https://ift.tt/vPMke1I
Caregivers and caretakers are the same thing
Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:45AM by Miracle_Bean https://ift.tt/7soUkvj
There need to be a 5 items or less line in drive thru’s
Like when you’re in the wendys drive thru and all you want is a junior bacon cheeseburger and the guy in front of you is ordering for six.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 04:48AM by ThisPaige https://ift.tt/83HqeOL
Eating healthy is more expensive.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 03:49AM by IDIE1ST https://ift.tt/dxGRcAo
People want more mental health awareness, but criticize someone pointing out characteristics of those disorders in a person.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 02:43AM by SplashbackDeuce https://ift.tt/JjiYPLu
Wearing sunglasses is color grading irl.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 01:50AM by TheChromer https://ift.tt/g0nAZf6
There is probably some guy out there who destroyed your wife/girlfriends ass.
And you don't know about it.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 12:49AM by DRealLeal https://ift.tt/cdG3aMx
Lawyers are supposed to be biased; the judge and jury are not.
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 02:45AM by AbandonedBySony https://ift.tt/6jTv5SY
There is no place that hasn’t been ruined by the poor behavior of a tourist.
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:20AM by Pbjoiner https://ift.tt/ksFSGuN
Earth is one giant steam boiler.
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:24AM by KrissGO https://ift.tt/ACj3kKa
Your parents scolding you as a toddler in a demeaning tone teaches you an extremely important lesson that they didn't even intend - whether or not authority figures deserve respect.
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:32AM by JackMann1792 https://ift.tt/fmWihFz
Dogs rarely get to see their own collars
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:37AM by mommyenjoyer420 https://ift.tt/ap3yUFB
A bicycle doubles as a scooter if you only ride one sided with one foot and pedal with the other.
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:37AM by aurashift2 https://ift.tt/YVM38Cm
Military pilots who bail out technically become paratroopers
Submitted August 19, 2022 at 12:48AM by JonSolo1 https://ift.tt/P4YSlr0
You've probably never heard a singer or band's actual voice. Only recordings or amplifications of the sound
Submitted August 18, 2022 at 04:46AM by AfcWimbledon_ https://ift.tt/ruEW9c8
It must suck to develop a cocaine addiction at the beginning of allergy season
Submitted August 18, 2022 at 03:49AM by Felzlek https://ift.tt/iw0WkpP
Centaurs have six limbs. So, centaurs are insects.
Submitted August 18, 2022 at 02:46AM by Ninja_In_Shaddows https://ift.tt/F9KHlpT
You only need a loofah if you don't have much body hair
Submitted August 18, 2022 at 01:37AM by Sneakerbeef https://ift.tt/95ayWVX
You have to iron your own shirts, in order to attract women who will iron your shirt for you.
Submitted August 18, 2022 at 12:42AM by CapnEarth https://ift.tt/6Jixen5
Family bands were the old fashioned family vlogging channel
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:45AM by Forsaken-Slide2 https://ift.tt/LwYKPhB
Probably at least one secret stealth mission failed because someone sneezed while in a ventilator shaft or in a passage between walls
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:48AM by ramis1992 https://ift.tt/pz4bKMW
A human adult drinking another animal's milk is considered normal, but a human adult drinking human milk is considered weird.
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:49AM by mcgormack https://ift.tt/7tahOfI
So many people outsource thinking
Just the condemnation of others for not adhering to rules that make zero sense for the circumstances at the time. I see people treating the act like it's morally reprehensible. Yet if you analyse it without the context of the rule often, it's okay, safe, not impacting others or whatever metric you want to use.
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 02:45AM by Privat3_Us3er https://ift.tt/ag9vNL7
Mewtwo looks like it has undergone a Brazilian butt lift procedure.
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 01:49AM by jaashpls https://ift.tt/IFQKP5j
Perfectionism is one of the most ironic personality traits
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 12:43AM by ltielen https://ift.tt/DbvrBEP
No one thinks snot or earwax is gross until its visible
Submitted August 16, 2022 at 04:49AM by Slickandslack0001 https://ift.tt/f3Vu4ji
No one has ever thought to just ask the chicken why it crossed the road
Submitted August 16, 2022 at 03:42AM by behold_the_man https://ift.tt/fcRaH3j
Both wanting to have kids and not wanting to have kids can be seen as selfish.
Submitted August 16, 2022 at 02:50AM by tkingsmd https://ift.tt/hqFuMAi
The Ninja Turtles have to take a dump outside since they're already in a sewer.
Submitted August 16, 2022 at 01:49AM by Animeking1108 https://ift.tt/jmuezHa
Fish probably think about trees, rocks and clouds the same way humans think about stars, planets and galaxies
Submitted August 16, 2022 at 12:34AM by Alexandriander https://ift.tt/dgJEtBq
Encouragement is positive peer pressure
Submitted August 15, 2022 at 04:48AM by Familiar_Ad9582 https://ift.tt/qf65vwT
You can kidnap an adult.
Submitted August 15, 2022 at 03:50AM by Lostnomad1 https://ift.tt/Y62JRd0
.pdf documents are a nightmare to work with considering the format was created to streamline and standardise the sharing of documents
Submitted August 15, 2022 at 02:48AM by deffonotmypassword https://ift.tt/wzcaqJX
Inception logic makes living infinite lives without aging more than a minute possible
Submitted August 15, 2022 at 01:49AM by squanto420sqanching https://ift.tt/UWN4Jso
We never appreciate the times in life when we don't have a hang nail or a sore in our mouth.
When you have one of those annoying self inflicted nuisance pains, it's infuriating and we long for it to heal so we can return to our normal way of doing things. It seems to consume our entire existence with irritation. Yet when it finally does heal, we rarely notice it's gone or appreciate all the time we don't have a bite mark inside our cheek or a blister on our heel.
Submitted August 15, 2022 at 12:44AM by mattmillze https://ift.tt/GSC6xqw
Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio and Kylian Mash will probably be played in nursing homes in 30-40 years
Submitted August 14, 2022 at 04:41AM by trumps_baggy_gloves https://ift.tt/s9TXo0i
Some personality types have massive advantages over others
Submitted August 14, 2022 at 03:44AM by ReallySillyLily36 https://ift.tt/nQKUmcH
Technically, a microwave is a particle accelerator.
Submitted August 14, 2022 at 02:47AM by JackZodiac2008 https://ift.tt/nMgNC1a
People who’ve lost fingers probably know their multiples better than the average man
Submitted August 14, 2022 at 01:44AM by Da-Knight https://ift.tt/iqjR6WF
the secret service is the least secret service in the world
Submitted August 14, 2022 at 12:40AM by ImDraconLion https://ift.tt/nuDKRlb
A cellphone is probably the most useless object to attach a rocket booster to.
Submitted August 13, 2022 at 04:45AM by IameIion https://ift.tt/10luFJZ
Bumper stickers are tattoos for cars.
Submitted August 13, 2022 at 03:50AM by MasterpieceTricky658 https://ift.tt/9taFfuz
Clothes are socially enforced bondage gear
Submitted August 13, 2022 at 02:48AM by Overlord_Primus https://ift.tt/n9eJjPD
No one can think they are insane and be correct
Submitted August 13, 2022 at 01:48AM by QuartermasterReviews https://ift.tt/oltRC4S
When strippers get ready for work they get dressed by undressing, to showcase their public parts.
Submitted August 13, 2022 at 12:47AM by Thegirisan https://ift.tt/Cb1yHas
Society was much better off back when popular conspiracy theories were mostly about UFOs and mythical creatures like Big Foot rather than other humans.
Submitted August 12, 2022 at 04:49AM by entrendre_entendre https://ift.tt/Sgdo6WC
Hospital walls are the first thing and the last thing most of us will see in our lives.
Submitted August 12, 2022 at 03:47AM by Exaltrify https://ift.tt/H9r3oEw
Warfare is mutual hunting
Submitted August 12, 2022 at 02:49AM by DoodDoes https://ift.tt/4efxKp0
Some people will confidently repeat something they've heard exactly once, as if it were fact, and then angrily defend it
Submitted August 12, 2022 at 01:50AM by ReallySillyLily36 https://ift.tt/hQBbuTx
We prefer hot showers but hate hot weather.
Submitted August 12, 2022 at 12:49AM by anwinner1 https://ift.tt/lkAH7Lv
Never take the short way out. The long way will always be shorter.
Advice from my grandfather’s principle, in about 1945.
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 04:48AM by exaball https://ift.tt/F4CkA91
Most pets die as virgins
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 03:47AM by phonemannn https://ift.tt/Pc8V5mJ
From a mechanic's point of view the right side of the engine is on the left side of the car.
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 02:42AM by EvenNobody3 https://ift.tt/TRUb4rI
Dehydration headaches are likely aided more from the water taken with the pain relief medication.
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 01:42AM by Did_ya_like_it https://ift.tt/K7n20jh
Even though noses are better at filtering stuff, we often instinctively start breathing through our mouth once we smell something foul.
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 12:38AM by unpleasantexperience https://ift.tt/TO4lrP2
It costs more money to get extra condiments on a burger at a restaurant, but it doesn’t cost less money to get the same burger without condiments
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 04:38AM by Returningdarkness https://ift.tt/EWsValN
thumb drives are the modern sneakernet
Hadn't heard this term in forever, referring to the use of floppy discs to transfer files between computers. Turns out I'm still on sneakernet daily.
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 03:44AM by ogrizzled https://ift.tt/vEjzX6g
We all live in a simulaiton similar to the Sims but Humans aren't the Main Characters. Cats are.
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 02:49AM by Simona333 https://ift.tt/SmitN0M
Birds aren’t just closely related to dinosaurs. They *are* dinosaurs.
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 01:51AM by alphahundred https://ift.tt/CSZ2TBi
When we think of knights they're usually Fighters and Paladins, but the most well-known modern knights are Bards
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 12:45AM by TreeRol https://ift.tt/sJgF3KT
You can't seek permission to ask a question without asking a question, thereby defeating your own purposes.
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:12AM by iamafacsimile https://ift.tt/vGMRmgj
Your body has very poor cable management inside
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:14AM by Dight67 https://ift.tt/6QYlu8z
USB killers are serial killers
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:26AM by Turtle11767 https://ift.tt/opzMydF
We can someday look at Earth's past using the James Webb Telescope.
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:28AM by Thembro01 https://ift.tt/qQcuiSO
Electric vehicle are as harmful to the environment as gasoline vehicles.
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:45AM by nottherealme97 https://ift.tt/TwjXlsx
You don't lose the lottery - you just don't win it
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 01:47AM by Seedpound https://ift.tt/tigP20h
White wine is not actually white
Submitted August 09, 2022 at 12:43AM by AndreHan https://ift.tt/c6zkgn9
When you die, you’ll probably just wake up sometime after the year where people figured out how to resurrect the dead.
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 02:43AM by mega-yeet https://ift.tt/H6VEeS3
In the Toy Story universe some toys grow up.
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 01:48AM by verdis https://ift.tt/NrDfubC
There is a drastic difference between snorting 40 pounds of cocaine and snorting 40 pounds worth of cocaine
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:24AM by KodzghlyCZ https://ift.tt/svLuYwa
Swaddling baby Clark Kent must have been a nightmare.
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:40AM by pyxlmedia https://ift.tt/4P7C0hE
A narcissist with an identical twin is not really a narcissist
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:44AM by procrastinator_0515 https://ift.tt/MgsR6hb
Humans are the only species that enjoy watching others have sex.
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:45AM by ethantoad https://ift.tt/FUWgvfZ
Unless for an actual plot point, TV show characters all run at generally the same speed
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:48AM by CookieForYall https://ift.tt/WUaJlqd
Human skin color gets darker the longer it is exposed to the sun which is the brightest thing in the observable universe.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:36AM by griptuba https://ift.tt/RQVKrcs
Pears are for patient people
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:39AM by carmex2121 https://ift.tt/H7YSPoi
A vlog is a life gameplay.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:42AM by antoinefbm https://ift.tt/2sa6YME
We live to have the peacefullest death.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:42AM by antoinefbm https://ift.tt/qCik5rP
Metaphors allow children to listen to the raunchiest songs without becoming emotionally scarred.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:44AM by Dylanphile https://ift.tt/rAfJ16F
We all have moons over our hammies
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 01:46AM by Trematode https://ift.tt/LArZxYU
Same with insane people
Haunted Houses are only a little bit haunted at the beginning of films.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 12:46AM by Airbiscotti https://ift.tt/CsPWkNo
Bugs confined to life on the ground probably think fireflies are UFOs.
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 04:41AM by invisiholes https://ift.tt/LAmEvfw
Second guessing yourself will only cause problems.
Or will it?
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 03:49AM by LightsOn-NobodyHome5 https://ift.tt/5HV9laE
Limited edition variations of most snacks suck
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 02:45AM by _adinfinitum_ https://ift.tt/V98Ia5f
Children's books are suitable for adults learning that new language
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 01:48AM by linfudd https://ift.tt/8r6WY3c
Dogs just accept that teleportation exists when they take an elevator
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 12:46AM by ZaPandaz https://ift.tt/IaBAJcx
There's nothing more awkward than hugging an awkward hugger.
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:39AM by DarwinsMonkeyOne https://ift.tt/eQou4qn
As most children are born they wear their mother as a fleshy dress
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:50AM by PineappleReaper https://ift.tt/bFDUteC
whether you reflect positive or negative attention to someone else's tweet, you promote it
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:50AM by ideas_now https://ift.tt/9kZTIDX
It's ironic that the most valuable companies in the world are built on one of the largest faults on Earth
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 02:44AM by Seedpound https://ift.tt/u7dfcyG
Everyone is born with a penis but the ones from women have a length in negative numbers
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 01:44AM by Maximus572 https://ift.tt/D9hf65e
You’re likely to have more friends and invitations if you own a truck in the city.
Submitted August 05, 2022 at 12:47AM by FaxTimeMachine https://ift.tt/hg90uzZ
Using petroleum jelly as lube makes a sausage slide into your ass easily, using petroleum jelly to cook the sausage will make it slide out of your ass violently if eat it.
Submitted August 04, 2022 at 04:47AM by lCraxisl https://ift.tt/HLFQblD
Being cremated is being over cooked
Submitted August 04, 2022 at 03:20AM by Sherafan5 https://ift.tt/WnluVw6
There’s no treason without reason
Submitted August 04, 2022 at 02:44AM by binkybales28 https://ift.tt/wumEd4Y
Cereals like Lucky Charms and Coco Pops are closer to desserts than a breakfast cereal
Submitted August 04, 2022 at 01:38AM by Slow-Razzmatazz-4005 https://ift.tt/HvMFfp8
Water is oxygen flavored. It doesn’t taste like anything because we breathe oxygen everyday and we’re used to the flavor.
Submitted August 03, 2022 at 03:45AM by larzeus https://ift.tt/z4jJgIu
We can never be fully grateful for the things we don't know about that we don't want to know about.
Submitted August 03, 2022 at 02:41AM by Inner_Art482 https://ift.tt/WVgkvKL
Someone needs to make a long conversation between a Sim and a Minion happen.
Submitted August 03, 2022 at 01:45AM by Deaths-shoes https://ift.tt/Rt29HdY
The result is already determined in a sealed envelope, but we still cross our fingers when we open it.
Submitted August 03, 2022 at 12:47AM by powerscunner https://ift.tt/qQTgjr7
To stop any robot attack, you can just ask them to provide the full number of pie.
Submitted August 03, 2022 at 12:09AM by boricimo https://ift.tt/ZkCYWg2
Ketchup is a tomato smoothie.
Submitted August 02, 2022 at 04:38AM by Echoherb https://ift.tt/4IUApjh
The longer porn exists, the higher chance people have of jacking off to their ancestors without knowing
Submitted August 02, 2022 at 03:42AM by Zealousideal_Ad_1604 https://ift.tt/dokiqeF
Before cameras, people probably sent unsolicited dick paintings to people
Submitted August 02, 2022 at 02:48AM by PacmanTheHitman https://ift.tt/lHUyEDC
Your teeth are rarely ever dry
Submitted August 02, 2022 at 01:49AM by PsYcHo4MuFfInS https://ift.tt/3nP2bt8
You know the music is good when just listening to it is the whole activity
Submitted August 02, 2022 at 12:48AM by K2_Koma https://ift.tt/BCtwoc0