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Submitted September 01, 2022 at 03:47AM by NotAFanOfBTS https://ift.tt/SWK9O...
Age is but a number between 18 and 25 - Leo
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Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:42AM by I_am_unique6435 https://ift.tt/cVryj...
Leonardo DiCaprio has watches older than his girlfriends.
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Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:44AM by I_am_unique6435 https://ift.tt/P3zmf...
Every family has a hot cousin.
And if you can't immediately picture them, you're probably the hot cousin.
Submitted September 01, 2022 at 02:48AM by dyt-lurk https://ift.tt/hInfV...
The cost of gas, food, goods and rent go up together, but the cost of labor stays the same.
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Submitted September 01, 2022 at 01:31AM by Dry-Rub https://ift.tt/ek7Xt...
Water tastes better when it has no taste
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Submitted September 01, 2022 at 12:45AM by magicmantesla https://ift.tt/8NpiU...
A bad haircut grows on you
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Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:57AM by thisoneguy_ https://ift.tt/q9PlB...
The invention and innovation of internal combustion really truly completely fucked us.
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Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:58AM by Jizz-wat-it-Jizz https://ift.tt/bzSHa...
It seems extremely primitive to label years based on the approximate birth of one particular ancient dude. And not only the years that have passed since, but all the years that had gone by before he was born.
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Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:59AM by roostertree https://ift.tt/UBWAJ...
Getting a man to handle his feelings and complexities appropriately is as difficult as programming a robot to process emotions correctly. If AI is successful, it’ll be robots who teach us to be better human beings.
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Submitted August 31, 2022 at 03:07AM by UhnotmeusAnonymous https://ift.tt/7RMhg...
Clothing is for keeping skin protected from outside sources of dirt, so public seating is dirtier than public toilets
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Submitted August 31, 2022 at 01:58AM by kskelts https://ift.tt/UBvGi...
Good drivers of the UK (possibly elsewhere)
Just thought that we, who drive properly (including in bus lanes when allowed) will be more than likely to get a ticket because we forget the time on the odd occasion. The idiots that drive on the outside lane all day (avoiding the bus lane always) won't ever be caught.
That's actually infuriated me 😂
Submitted August 31, 2022 at 12:45AM by ActualGuarantee1599...
Since people who don't wear shoes tend to develop calluses, shoes are effectively prosthetic calluses.
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Submitted August 30, 2022 at 04:36AM by Revegelance https://ift.tt/rzguJ...
They’re probably more grains of dirt on earth than they’re stars in the universe
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Submitted August 30, 2022 at 03:59AM by Support-Less https://ift.tt/NQUjx...
Banks are often the nicest and least visited buildings.
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Submitted August 30, 2022 at 02:51AM by BellyScratchFTW https://ift.tt/x2o0H...
In a Top 10 list, it's always #10 - #2 that are the most interesting.
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Submitted August 30, 2022 at 01:35AM by PokeMaster366 https://ift.tt/qf6zm...
You see a lot of stories about millionaires taking risks and becoming billionaires but you never see stories about a people with just $1,000 becoming a millionaire.
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Submitted August 30, 2022 at 12:48AM by _Jimmy_Rustler https://ift.tt/Txd6y...
Body can produce all states of matter
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Submitted August 29, 2022 at 04:50AM by PanwZx https://ift.tt/QUsmz...
In football, the defensive team's job is to attack the other team, while the offensive team has players dedicated to defending.
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Submitted August 29, 2022 at 03:46AM by side_lel https://ift.tt/2Fyao...
Ever since the inception of karaoke in the 90s, it showed that the ability to sing rather well was actually very common.
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Submitted August 29, 2022 at 02:45AM by Digitek50 https://ift.tt/fCRa1...
Odds are that many brilliant ideas and inventions went undeveloped, because people were too lazy or pessimistic to follow through
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Submitted August 29, 2022 at 01:50AM by schadenfreudender https://ift.tt/9MzCv...
The most and least natural things are both green
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Submitted August 29, 2022 at 12:48AM by DinksterDaily https://ift.tt/L4Vd6...
Depressive realism is the great equaliser.
When things are going well, depressive realism pulls you back. When things are going terribly, depressive realism brings you up, or is it just nihilism?
Submitted August 28, 2022 at 04:32AM by 61571 https://ift.tt/czpoX...
You normally can't feel your legs, you get uncomfortable when you do.
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Submitted August 28, 2022 at 03:50AM by Dude-i-fucked-up https://ift.tt/83TXf...
Bigfoot doesn't have a forehead.
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Submitted August 28, 2022 at 02:55AM by ImHumanStick https://ift.tt/FJrhY...
A recession is kind of like an economic forest fire.
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Submitted August 28, 2022 at 02:20AM by LiwetJared https://ift.tt/ZNQuj...
Billionaires have to buy new socks when they get holes in them too
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Submitted August 28, 2022 at 01:02AM by Emotional-Ebb4506 https://ift.tt/67Q9L...
Steel is more elastic than rubber.
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 02:15AM by hearsdemons https://ift.tt/VMjR3...
Guys with ADD probably jack off more because of the increased benefit of post-nut clarity.
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:18AM by peterpeteranimeeater https://ift.tt/RZgui...
Starbucks sounds less like a coffeeshop and more like a rewards program.
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:21AM by LeKrispyKreme https://ift.tt/zouJS...
Making a quick trip to Jupiter doing the headstand is the next generational facelift and BBL
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:22AM by ProfessionalArm3571 https://ift.tt/Bjk4r...
We keep our wishes to ourself so they can come true. We keep our fears to ourselves so they don’t come true.
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:31AM by Meanwhile-in-Paris https://ift.tt/lTwj7...
Directions via Google Maps expect that you will speed
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:53AM by timmler24 https://ift.tt/GSMbD...
Taking photos has replaced saying grace before meals
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Submitted August 27, 2022 at 01:14AM by technicallynotlying https://ift.tt/kVpiY...
An arrow is technically always right side up
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Submitted August 26, 2022 at 04:34AM by telephonekiosk https://ift.tt/zAPKp...
As a group, the most romantically open-minded people are the blind bisexuals.
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Submitted August 26, 2022 at 03:22AM by CreampieQueef https://ift.tt/xzgdq...
It is very awkward telling your family that you have sex, but saying that you are trying to have a baby with your partner, then its considered sweet.
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Submitted August 26, 2022 at 02:16AM by ogadeeen https://ift.tt/BAiv4...
The songs you really like never seem to be the ones that get permanently stuck in your head
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Submitted August 26, 2022 at 01:17AM by magicmantesla https://ift.tt/OQNlu...
The fact that the word palindrome is not a palindrome is a real missed opportunity.
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Submitted August 26, 2022 at 12:16AM by farnsworthfan https://ift.tt/JNDW9...
There is probably a real tree that has the same number of leaves as people in your family.
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Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:32AM by Axe_Ragnarok1 https://ift.tt/Rdgmt...
Topologically speaking, we are a donut
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Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:38AM by EDEN-_ https://ift.tt/gMv8H...
Walking through a doorway makes you forget things because you're scanning a new environment instinctively.
Even if unconsciously.
Submitted August 25, 2022 at 03:49AM by Fuzzyphilosopher https://ift.tt/XDN1l...
A broken clock is still correct at two times of the day.
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Submitted August 25, 2022 at 02:47AM by Niceify_ https://ift.tt/wkQdn...
You always hear about short men having a supposed Napoleon complex but you never hear about an Idi Amin complex for adult bullies who were always the biggest kid in class
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Submitted August 25, 2022 at 01:41AM by Zealousideal_Ad_1604 https://ift.tt/g9ypH...
As more cars and engines are converted to electric, little boys will need new loud sounds to make with their mouths.
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Submitted August 25, 2022 at 12:44AM by jay0lee https://ift.tt/EzxPs...
In the Jesper’s Creepers series, one may argue the Creeper truck is the true villain, as it gets much more runtime than the creeper himself.
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 02:46AM by Methionylth https://ift.tt/mvIu4...
Deciding to have a baby when you feel absolutely ready is kind of like starting a new game +
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:02AM by comeonsomebody https://ift.tt/6BMLA...
Retractable headlights are probably the only thing we prefer to be stuck up.
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:07AM by depersonalised https://ift.tt/PjmHT...
Dino nuggets have come from evolved dinosaurs.
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:18AM by Cowribcage https://ift.tt/z5DQt...
Before he left Caladan, Paul Atriedes was probably at least an average surfer.
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:31AM by cipher446 https://ift.tt/7W8mI...
Dodge’s first EV will be a Charger.
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 01:38AM by CornerMoon https://ift.tt/4nc2N...
Parentheses are math condoms
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Submitted August 24, 2022 at 12:40AM by sup3rchunk https://ift.tt/3Ojeo...
Bruce Campbell not being in a Troma movie is a damn tragedy.
Maybe he was or not that’s all I’m drank ✌️
Submitted August 23, 2022 at 07:29AM by krys2lcer https://ift.tt/JenGa...
The dinning experience at IKEA is better than most restaurants
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Submitted August 23, 2022 at 03:49AM by UsedToothpick https://ift.tt/aWD39...
Peter Parker was lucky he wasn’t bitten by a radioactive dung beetle.
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Submitted August 23, 2022 at 02:49AM by big_macaroons https://ift.tt/HMmsI...
More people care about than you think, but less people are concerned about you than you think
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Submitted August 23, 2022 at 01:44AM by unclerudy https://ift.tt/9AQ7J...
The same refining process that made Red Delicious apples gradually terrible also happened to large oranges
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Submitted August 23, 2022 at 12:46AM by Phlegmagician https://ift.tt/CvBYF...
You’re probably the only member of your family to not be able to recognize the sounds of your own steps walking up the stairs
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 01:39AM by supersonic_socks_ https://ift.tt/KM8oT...
You’ll often see animals named after their disabilities, like a one eyed bird named winky. But you’ll rarely meet a human born without an arm named stumpy
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:23AM by Antwux_Sarola https://ift.tt/KcYHv...
It’s impossible to answer the question ”how much you want something” until you tried to achieve it.
Was thinking about weight loss for example. It’s not uncommon for someone to say ”they’d do anything to lose weight”, but then they’re still not able to change their whole lifestyle to achive their goal.
Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:26AM by Hundlordfart https://ift.tt/hcTrY...
You shouldn't compare yourself to others you don't live with them, therefore you don't know what there going through
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:28AM by Comfortable_Ad5802 https://ift.tt/yibwU...
Saying you were thinking outloud sounds a lot less crazy than you saying you were talking to yourself
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:36AM by RemmiLeBeau https://ift.tt/aK6iD...
Everyone passes the halfway point of their life without realizing it
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:36AM by dpo11122 https://ift.tt/w4xMj...
80% of working a corporate job is spent making and editing powerpoint presentations…
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Submitted August 22, 2022 at 12:37AM by Yep_this_is_discreet https://ift.tt/x3X8A...
Pet fish probably think they own a human terrarium.
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 02:41AM by jupiterjones3 https://ift.tt/Ht7qk...
Animals probably replay memories in their heads too.
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 01:43AM by Fearless_Doctor7872 https://ift.tt/6HeaW...
We’re 5-10 years away from people not being able to sign a mortgage loan because they were never taught cursive.
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Submitted August 20, 2022 at 11:57PM by robot_handjob https://ift.tt/D5mSd...
All singing is technically breathtaking
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:12AM by datboidat https://ift.tt/d7XW8...
Females, on an average, have to likely imagine male bodies much more than the other way around due to how fashion typically fits each sex.
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:14AM by gelypse https://ift.tt/QT4BC...
Every flying object is an unidentified flying object until you figure out what it is
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:18AM by TheRealBabyJesus69 https://ift.tt/vPMke...
Caregivers and caretakers are the same thing
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Submitted August 21, 2022 at 12:45AM by Miracle_Bean https://ift.tt/7soUk...
There need to be a 5 items or less line in drive thru’s
Like when you’re in the wendys drive thru and all you want is a junior bacon cheeseburger and the guy in front of you is ordering for six.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 04:48AM by ThisPaige https://ift.tt/83Hqe...
Eating healthy is more expensive.
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Submitted August 20, 2022 at 03:49AM by IDIE1ST https://ift.tt/dxGRc...
People want more mental health awareness, but criticize someone pointing out characteristics of those disorders in a person.
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Submitted August 20, 2022 at 02:43AM by SplashbackDeuce https://ift.tt/JjiYP...
Wearing sunglasses is color grading irl.
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Submitted August 20, 2022 at 01:50AM by TheChromer https://ift.tt/g0nAZ...
There is probably some guy out there who destroyed your wife/girlfriends ass.
And you don't know about it.
Submitted August 20, 2022 at 12:49AM by DRealLeal https://ift.tt/cdG3a...
Lawyers are supposed to be biased; the judge and jury are not.
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 02:45AM by AbandonedBySony https://ift.tt/6jTv5...
There is no place that hasn’t been ruined by the poor behavior of a tourist.
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:20AM by Pbjoiner https://ift.tt/ksFSG...
Earth is one giant steam boiler.
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:24AM by KrissGO https://ift.tt/ACj3k...
Your parents scolding you as a toddler in a demeaning tone teaches you an extremely important lesson that they didn't even intend - whether or not authority figures deserve respect.
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:32AM by JackMann1792 https://ift.tt/fmWih...
Dogs rarely get to see their own collars
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:37AM by mommyenjoyer420 https://ift.tt/ap3yU...
A bicycle doubles as a scooter if you only ride one sided with one foot and pedal with the other.
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 01:37AM by aurashift2 https://ift.tt/YVM38...
Military pilots who bail out technically become paratroopers
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Submitted August 19, 2022 at 12:48AM by JonSolo1 https://ift.tt/P4YSl...
You've probably never heard a singer or band's actual voice. Only recordings or amplifications of the sound
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Submitted August 18, 2022 at 04:46AM by AfcWimbledon_ https://ift.tt/ruEW9...
It must suck to develop a cocaine addiction at the beginning of allergy season
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Submitted August 18, 2022 at 03:49AM by Felzlek https://ift.tt/iw0Wk...
Centaurs have six limbs. So, centaurs are insects.
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Submitted August 18, 2022 at 02:46AM by Ninja_In_Shaddows https://ift.tt/F9KHl...
You only need a loofah if you don't have much body hair
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Submitted August 18, 2022 at 01:37AM by Sneakerbeef https://ift.tt/95ayW...
You have to iron your own shirts, in order to attract women who will iron your shirt for you.
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Submitted August 18, 2022 at 12:42AM by CapnEarth https://ift.tt/6Jixe...
Family bands were the old fashioned family vlogging channel
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Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:45AM by Forsaken-Slide2 https://ift.tt/LwYKP...
Probably at least one secret stealth mission failed because someone sneezed while in a ventilator shaft or in a passage between walls
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Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:48AM by ramis1992 https://ift.tt/pz4bK...
A human adult drinking another animal's milk is considered normal, but a human adult drinking human milk is considered weird.
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Submitted August 17, 2022 at 03:49AM by mcgormack https://ift.tt/7tahO...
So many people outsource thinking
Just the condemnation of others for not adhering to rules that make zero sense for the circumstances at the time. I see people treating the act like it's morally reprehensible. Yet if you analyse it without the context of the rule often, it's okay, safe, not impacting others or whatever metric you want to use.
Submitted August 17, 2022 at 02:45AM...
Mewtwo looks like it has undergone a Brazilian butt lift procedure.
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Submitted August 17, 2022 at 01:49AM by jaashpls https://ift.tt/IFQKP...
Perfectionism is one of the most ironic personality traits
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Submitted August 17, 2022 at 12:43AM by ltielen https://ift.tt/DbvrB...
No one thinks snot or earwax is gross until its visible
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Submitted August 16, 2022 at 04:49AM by Slickandslack0001 https://ift.tt/f3Vu4...
No one has ever thought to just ask the chicken why it crossed the road
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Submitted August 16, 2022 at 03:42AM by behold_the_man https://ift.tt/fcRaH...
Both wanting to have kids and not wanting to have kids can be seen as selfish.
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Submitted August 16, 2022 at 02:50AM by tkingsmd https://ift.tt/hqFuM...
The Ninja Turtles have to take a dump outside since they're already in a sewer.
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Submitted August 16, 2022 at 01:49AM by Animeking1108 https://ift.tt/jmuez...
Fish probably think about trees, rocks and clouds the same way humans think about stars, planets and galaxies
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Submitted August 16, 2022 at 12:34AM by Alexandriander https://ift.tt/dgJEt...
Encouragement is positive peer pressure
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Submitted August 15, 2022 at 04:48AM by Familiar_Ad9582 https://ift.tt/qf65v...
You can kidnap an adult.
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Submitted August 15, 2022 at 03:50AM by Lostnomad1 https://ift.tt/Y62JR...
.pdf documents are a nightmare to work with considering the format was created to streamline and standardise the sharing of documents
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Submitted August 15, 2022 at 02:48AM by deffonotmypassword https://ift.tt/wzcaq...
Inception logic makes living infinite lives without aging more than a minute possible
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Submitted August 15, 2022 at 01:49AM by squanto420sqanching https://ift.tt/UWN4J...
We never appreciate the times in life when we don't have a hang nail or a sore in our mouth.
When you have one of those annoying self inflicted nuisance pains, it's infuriating and we long for it to heal so we can return to our normal way of doing things. It seems to consume our entire existence with irritation. Yet when it finally does heal, we rarely notice it's gone or appreciate all the time we don't have a bite mark inside our cheek...
Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio and Kylian Mash will probably be played in nursing homes in 30-40 years
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Submitted August 14, 2022 at 04:41AM by trumps_baggy_gloves https://ift.tt/s9TXo...
Some personality types have massive advantages over others
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Submitted August 14, 2022 at 03:44AM by ReallySillyLily36 https://ift.tt/nQKUm...
Technically, a microwave is a particle accelerator.
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Submitted August 14, 2022 at 02:47AM by JackZodiac2008 https://ift.tt/nMgNC...
People who’ve lost fingers probably know their multiples better than the average man
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Submitted August 14, 2022 at 01:44AM by Da-Knight https://ift.tt/iqjR6...
the secret service is the least secret service in the world
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Submitted August 14, 2022 at 12:40AM by ImDraconLion https://ift.tt/nuDKR...
A cellphone is probably the most useless object to attach a rocket booster to.
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Submitted August 13, 2022 at 04:45AM by IameIion https://ift.tt/10luF...
Bumper stickers are tattoos for cars.
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Submitted August 13, 2022 at 03:50AM by MasterpieceTricky658 https://ift.tt/9taFf...
Clothes are socially enforced bondage gear
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Submitted August 13, 2022 at 02:48AM by Overlord_Primus https://ift.tt/n9eJj...
No one can think they are insane and be correct
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Submitted August 13, 2022 at 01:48AM by QuartermasterReviews https://ift.tt/oltRC...
When strippers get ready for work they get dressed by undressing, to showcase their public parts.
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Submitted August 13, 2022 at 12:47AM by Thegirisan https://ift.tt/Cb1yH...
Society was much better off back when popular conspiracy theories were mostly about UFOs and mythical creatures like Big Foot rather than other humans.
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Submitted August 12, 2022 at 04:49AM by entrendre_entendre https://ift.tt/Sgdo6...
Hospital walls are the first thing and the last thing most of us will see in our lives.
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Submitted August 12, 2022 at 03:47AM by Exaltrify https://ift.tt/H9r3o...
Warfare is mutual hunting
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Submitted August 12, 2022 at 02:49AM by DoodDoes https://ift.tt/4efxK...
Some people will confidently repeat something they've heard exactly once, as if it were fact, and then angrily defend it
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Submitted August 12, 2022 at 01:50AM by ReallySillyLily36 https://ift.tt/hQBbu...
We prefer hot showers but hate hot weather.
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Submitted August 12, 2022 at 12:49AM by anwinner1 https://ift.tt/lkAH7...
Never take the short way out. The long way will always be shorter.
Advice from my grandfather’s principle, in about 1945.
Submitted August 11, 2022 at 04:48AM by exaball https://ift.tt/F4CkA...
Most pets die as virgins
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Submitted August 11, 2022 at 03:47AM by phonemannn https://ift.tt/Pc8V5...
From a mechanic's point of view the right side of the engine is on the left side of the car.
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Submitted August 11, 2022 at 02:42AM by EvenNobody3 https://ift.tt/TRUb4...
Dehydration headaches are likely aided more from the water taken with the pain relief medication.
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Submitted August 11, 2022 at 01:42AM by Did_ya_like_it https://ift.tt/K7n20...
Even though noses are better at filtering stuff, we often instinctively start breathing through our mouth once we smell something foul.
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Submitted August 11, 2022 at 12:38AM by unpleasantexperience https://ift.tt/TO4lr...
It costs more money to get extra condiments on a burger at a restaurant, but it doesn’t cost less money to get the same burger without condiments
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Submitted August 10, 2022 at 04:38AM by Returningdarkness https://ift.tt/EWsVa...
thumb drives are the modern sneakernet
Hadn't heard this term in forever, referring to the use of floppy discs to transfer files between computers. Turns out I'm still on sneakernet daily.
Submitted August 10, 2022 at 03:44AM by ogrizzled https://ift.tt/vEjzX...
We all live in a simulaiton similar to the Sims but Humans aren't the Main Characters. Cats are.
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Submitted August 10, 2022 at 02:49AM by Simona333 https://ift.tt/SmitN...
Birds aren’t just closely related to dinosaurs. They *are* dinosaurs.
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Submitted August 10, 2022 at 01:51AM by alphahundred https://ift.tt/CSZ2T...
When we think of knights they're usually Fighters and Paladins, but the most well-known modern knights are Bards
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Submitted August 10, 2022 at 12:45AM by TreeRol https://ift.tt/sJgF3...
You can't seek permission to ask a question without asking a question, thereby defeating your own purposes.
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:12AM by iamafacsimile https://ift.tt/vGMRm...
Your body has very poor cable management inside
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:14AM by Dight67 https://ift.tt/6QYlu...
USB killers are serial killers
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:26AM by Turtle11767 https://ift.tt/opzMy...
We can someday look at Earth's past using the James Webb Telescope.
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:28AM by Thembro01 https://ift.tt/qQcui...
Electric vehicle are as harmful to the environment as gasoline vehicles.
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 02:45AM by nottherealme97 https://ift.tt/TwjXl...
You don't lose the lottery - you just don't win it
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 01:47AM by Seedpound https://ift.tt/tigP2...
White wine is not actually white
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Submitted August 09, 2022 at 12:43AM by AndreHan https://ift.tt/c6zkg...
When you die, you’ll probably just wake up sometime after the year where people figured out how to resurrect the dead.
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 02:43AM by mega-yeet https://ift.tt/H6VEe...
In the Toy Story universe some toys grow up.
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 01:48AM by verdis https://ift.tt/NrDfu...
There is a drastic difference between snorting 40 pounds of cocaine and snorting 40 pounds worth of cocaine
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:24AM by KodzghlyCZ https://ift.tt/svLuY...
Swaddling baby Clark Kent must have been a nightmare.
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:40AM by pyxlmedia https://ift.tt/4P7C0...
A narcissist with an identical twin is not really a narcissist
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:44AM by procrastinator_0515 https://ift.tt/MgsR6...
Humans are the only species that enjoy watching others have sex.
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:45AM by ethantoad https://ift.tt/FUWgv...
Unless for an actual plot point, TV show characters all run at generally the same speed
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Submitted August 08, 2022 at 12:48AM by CookieForYall https://ift.tt/WUaJl...
Human skin color gets darker the longer it is exposed to the sun which is the brightest thing in the observable universe.
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:36AM by griptuba https://ift.tt/RQVKr...
Pears are for patient people
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:39AM by carmex2121 https://ift.tt/H7YSP...
A vlog is a life gameplay.
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:42AM by antoinefbm https://ift.tt/2sa6Y...
We live to have the peacefullest death.
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:42AM by antoinefbm https://ift.tt/qCik5...
Metaphors allow children to listen to the raunchiest songs without becoming emotionally scarred.
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 02:44AM by Dylanphile https://ift.tt/rAfJ1...
We all have moons over our hammies
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Submitted August 07, 2022 at 01:46AM by Trematode https://ift.tt/LArZx...
Same with insane people
Haunted Houses are only a little bit haunted at the beginning of films.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 12:46AM by Airbiscotti https://ift.tt/CsPWk...
Bugs confined to life on the ground probably think fireflies are UFOs.
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Submitted August 06, 2022 at 04:41AM by invisiholes https://ift.tt/LAmEv...
Second guessing yourself will only cause problems.
Or will it?
Submitted August 06, 2022 at 03:49AM by LightsOn-NobodyHome5 https://ift.tt/5HV9l...
Limited edition variations of most snacks suck
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Submitted August 06, 2022 at 02:45AM by _adinfinitum_ https://ift.tt/V98Ia...
Children's books are suitable for adults learning that new language
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Submitted August 06, 2022 at 01:48AM by linfudd https://ift.tt/8r6WY...
Dogs just accept that teleportation exists when they take an elevator
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Submitted August 06, 2022 at 12:46AM by ZaPandaz https://ift.tt/IaBAJ...
There's nothing more awkward than hugging an awkward hugger.
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:39AM by DarwinsMonkeyOne https://ift.tt/eQou4...
As most children are born they wear their mother as a fleshy dress
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:50AM by PineappleReaper https://ift.tt/bFDUt...
whether you reflect positive or negative attention to someone else's tweet, you promote it
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 03:50AM by ideas_now https://ift.tt/9kZTI...
It's ironic that the most valuable companies in the world are built on one of the largest faults on Earth
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 02:44AM by Seedpound https://ift.tt/u7dfc...
Everyone is born with a penis but the ones from women have a length in negative numbers
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 01:44AM by Maximus572 https://ift.tt/D9hf6...
You’re likely to have more friends and invitations if you own a truck in the city.
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Submitted August 05, 2022 at 12:47AM by FaxTimeMachine https://ift.tt/hg90u...
Using petroleum jelly as lube makes a sausage slide into your ass easily, using petroleum jelly to cook the sausage will make it slide out of your ass violently if eat it.
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Submitted August 04, 2022 at 04:47AM by lCraxisl https://ift.tt/HLFQb...
Being cremated is being over cooked
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Submitted August 04, 2022 at 03:20AM by Sherafan5 https://ift.tt/WnluV...
There’s no treason without reason
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Submitted August 04, 2022 at 02:44AM by binkybales28 https://ift.tt/wumEd...
Cereals like Lucky Charms and Coco Pops are closer to desserts than a breakfast cereal
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Submitted August 04, 2022 at 01:38AM by Slow-Razzmatazz-4005 https://ift.tt/HvMFf...
Water is oxygen flavored. It doesn’t taste like anything because we breathe oxygen everyday and we’re used to the flavor.
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Submitted August 03, 2022 at 03:45AM by larzeus https://ift.tt/z4jJg...
We can never be fully grateful for the things we don't know about that we don't want to know about.
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Submitted August 03, 2022 at 02:41AM by Inner_Art482 https://ift.tt/WVgkv...
Someone needs to make a long conversation between a Sim and a Minion happen.
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Submitted August 03, 2022 at 01:45AM by Deaths-shoes https://ift.tt/Rt29H...
The result is already determined in a sealed envelope, but we still cross our fingers when we open it.
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Submitted August 03, 2022 at 12:47AM by powerscunner https://ift.tt/qQTgj...
To stop any robot attack, you can just ask them to provide the full number of pie.
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Submitted August 03, 2022 at 12:09AM by boricimo https://ift.tt/ZkCYW...
Ketchup is a tomato smoothie.
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Submitted August 02, 2022 at 04:38AM by Echoherb https://ift.tt/4IUAp...
The longer porn exists, the higher chance people have of jacking off to their ancestors without knowing
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Submitted August 02, 2022 at 03:42AM by Zealousideal_Ad_1604 https://ift.tt/dokiq...
Before cameras, people probably sent unsolicited dick paintings to people
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Submitted August 02, 2022 at 02:48AM by PacmanTheHitman https://ift.tt/lHUyE...
Your teeth are rarely ever dry
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Submitted August 02, 2022 at 01:49AM by PsYcHo4MuFfInS https://ift.tt/3nP2b...
You know the music is good when just listening to it is the whole activity
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Submitted August 02, 2022 at 12:48AM by K2_Koma https://ift.tt/BCtwo...