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Women are very fortunate that they can clean their pipes thoroughly after taking a shit without feeling gay

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Submitted September 01, 2023 at 02:14AM by eggtart_prince https://ift.tt/wqXjyap
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People who make good decisions and avoid trouble get far less representation than people who make bad ones.

It kinda bugs me that in all news and media, we don't just celebrate people who avoided drama their whole life.

The best scar is the one you never got.



Submitted September 01, 2023 at 02:16AM by TA64852146 https://ift.tt/UO1mg5W
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Whenever someone asks you if they can ask a question, they are already doing what they asked you permission for.

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Submitted September 01, 2023 at 01:26AM by Gettfou- https://ift.tt/8WPqCUz
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Darth Vader wore the first sleep apnea machine

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Submitted September 01, 2023 at 12:14AM by blue_aura26 https://ift.tt/kUn7DSc
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Not being able to admit that one was wrong, is one of the downfalls of a society

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Submitted August 31, 2023 at 01:47AM by JoeyTesla https://ift.tt/GZLy0rv
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There are objects out there that are being held together by one last connected molecule.

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Submitted August 31, 2023 at 12:21AM by zaphster https://ift.tt/mqh2rN9
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Gen Z is the first generation to have their culture judged by older generations both in person and through the internet.

Obviously, millennials experience it to an extent, but Gen Z grew up having the internet be a key part of the world, creating this phenomenon.



Submitted August 30, 2023 at 02:24AM by Picklerickshaw_part2 https://ift.tt/vDhulpw
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Vapes are kinda like adult pacifiers

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Submitted August 30, 2023 at 02:35AM by Mountain-Complex-562 https://ift.tt/pAot24C
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News sites with no paywalls are often the most biased or sensationalistic ones

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Submitted August 30, 2023 at 01:22AM by prosa123 https://ift.tt/5IhZTwB
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Flat earth society has members all around the globe.

So are all of them plain delusional or are some just gaslighting people for some attention?



Submitted August 30, 2023 at 12:43AM by Horse_Prick_Harry https://ift.tt/tpu2Uh9
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We tidy up our homes to protect our privacy. It keeps others from visualizing how we live.

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Submitted August 29, 2023 at 12:24AM by flernglernsberg https://ift.tt/rp9MAED
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you dont need to raise your hand when knocking

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Submitted August 28, 2023 at 02:07AM by stirrerofpots https://ift.tt/1vmYFzZ
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Poor Dad Rich Dad isn't a financial self help book, it's a tragedy about a son failing to grasp his father's teachings, trapped in an obsession with material wealth over integrity.

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Submitted August 28, 2023 at 12:53AM by RobAdkerson https://ift.tt/IbQuFB9
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To beard or not to beard

Dudes who have beards are just dudes without beards who have beards..



Submitted August 27, 2023 at 11:47PM by Iamleroux80 https://ift.tt/PVBh4N9
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There is a certain number of raindrops that if you remove one from it, it goes from being a rainstorm to not being a rainstorm.

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Submitted August 27, 2023 at 02:22AM by Danile2401 https://ift.tt/FvMkGfZ
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No news, is good news

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Submitted August 27, 2023 at 02:39AM by NirvanaMind https://ift.tt/ODEgxQV
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Honesty is respected but gets significantly more backlash for telling the truth. Yet lying is frowned upon, sometimes avoiding backlash.

Do people want honest people or constant liers?



Submitted August 27, 2023 at 12:46AM by Jamcam007 https://ift.tt/7lshkQ4
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A lot of restaurants get away with serving mediocre, overpriced food because they also happen to serve alcohol.

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Submitted August 27, 2023 at 01:04AM by wfezzari https://ift.tt/N1OSjYe
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The quality of a news site is inversely proportional to the quality of its ads.

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Submitted August 27, 2023 at 12:24AM by thesmartass1 https://ift.tt/pukXIUr
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For a country with a reputation for being laid back, Jamaica's athletes are very fast

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Submitted August 26, 2023 at 12:48AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/ARFdBgP
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People that have surgical metal parts on their bodies are going to make for some interesting bionic skeletons for the future.

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Submitted August 26, 2023 at 12:58AM by theLEVIATHAN06 https://ift.tt/V0Lx1zA
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Judging someone's character by their recent actions is much easier when disregarding your nostaligic memories of them

Doesn't matter if it's a lover, friend or family member everyone changes



Submitted August 26, 2023 at 01:14AM by AreaStreet https://ift.tt/DvzW8Ms
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Guys really only have two modes: ‘Came recently’ & ‘Horny’

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Submitted August 26, 2023 at 01:34AM by suaveinthebushes https://ift.tt/MH8RKIY
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A 6'5 person standing next to a 5'10 person looks way taller, but is really only 10% taller.

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Submitted August 26, 2023 at 01:34AM by MurderofCrowzy https://ift.tt/kJPsorj
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The world's most successful invasive species, also monitors other invasive species.

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Submitted August 26, 2023 at 12:14AM by Clumsy-Samurai https://ift.tt/aCAIf9B
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Aunt and cunt are only 1 letter different, but they don't rhyme.

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Submitted August 25, 2023 at 12:21AM by dirtynj https://ift.tt/cs7IRud
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Most game characters’ sleep schedules must be very messed up.

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Submitted August 24, 2023 at 12:33AM by The-Skinny-Indian https://ift.tt/tgXRW0Z
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The fashion industry caters exclusively to women.

im not a bigot lol



Submitted August 23, 2023 at 01:29AM by Mxrlinox https://ift.tt/eucUtCJ
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Nothing changes if nothing changes.

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Submitted August 23, 2023 at 12:27AM by chaithzluci https://ift.tt/BGyI89f
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Putting tiger balm on balls must feel great on a hot summer day

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Submitted August 22, 2023 at 02:23AM by HondaCrv2010 https://ift.tt/Nc0dFaA
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Authority derives solely from the human imagination.

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Submitted August 22, 2023 at 01:31AM by bluesushi https://ift.tt/PTu7UGR
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It's perfectly acceptable to consume food in front of others but is relagated to a special room for disposing of it's remains.

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Submitted August 22, 2023 at 12:20AM by pimpmastahanhduece https://ift.tt/n2hZVpc
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Hell is either extremely cold or extremely hot, depending on who you ask.

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Submitted August 21, 2023 at 12:24AM by doodybot https://ift.tt/d1H9zkK
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For every white woman who don't know how to appreciate you, there are a hundred Asian women who will gladly eat fried onion rings off of your boner.

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Submitted August 20, 2023 at 01:51AM by beautychinadoll https://ift.tt/JvV25Xc
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Most guns are bullet powered

Obviously there are exceptions(bolt action and such).



Submitted August 20, 2023 at 02:20AM by valardohaerisx https://ift.tt/bS0DeF6
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It's considered rude to ask how much someone makes, unless they're a youtuber

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Submitted August 20, 2023 at 01:28AM by Kajmarez https://ift.tt/7J2SvLg
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Man is smarter than woman.

After all two heads think better than one.



Submitted August 20, 2023 at 12:07AM by Elviejopancho https://ift.tt/MdZTB9R
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It's slightly disappointing when a character in a movie/TV show crosses a street without looking both ways and doesn't get hit by a car.

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Submitted August 19, 2023 at 01:31AM by wimpykidfan37 https://ift.tt/0oQI7Ja
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There’s no up or down in space so it’s amazing that cinematic space battles always have ships oriented the same way

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Submitted August 19, 2023 at 12:15AM by Running_Is_Life https://ift.tt/qc5Uuhe
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Humanity loves expanding but hates contracting

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Submitted August 18, 2023 at 02:01AM by FishtankBaby https://ift.tt/PvlEdcu
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All people go their entire lives.

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Submitted August 18, 2023 at 12:13AM by badasspeanutbutter https://ift.tt/HBYakQG
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We're walking through all the dirty internet just the same as the day to day internet we use regularly with 5G

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Submitted August 17, 2023 at 01:28AM by Assassinatitties https://ift.tt/SIqxNZe
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A bookmark is a physical hyperlink

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Submitted August 17, 2023 at 01:48AM by Thor_Baci https://ift.tt/IhFtb5o
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The 1 side of dice is the heaviest

Fewer holes drilled in the same material



Submitted August 17, 2023 at 12:26AM by Elluminated https://ift.tt/esmxGLX
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It's funny how vitamin D is the one you will get from going to the sea

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Submitted August 16, 2023 at 02:29AM by Y0niY0 https://ift.tt/VksAC8v
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Jack wasn't the only one who was broke. Rose was broke too. She just had a potential safety net to reluctantly fall on.

Take away Caledon Hockley from the Dewitt Bukaters' lives, and they are left with nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden by a good name.



Submitted August 16, 2023 at 01:20AM by chirayuvedekar https://ift.tt/UmVCMiN
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It's not walls that stop people, it's roofs.

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Submitted August 16, 2023 at 12:05AM by doublecunningulus https://ift.tt/CZhGnPu
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Multiplying by 15 feels much harder than multiplying by 1.5

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Submitted August 15, 2023 at 02:21AM by Onetwodhwksi7833 https://ift.tt/8Lmryi2
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Prophecies obey Heisenberg Uncertainty

The more detail they tell you about the future, the less likely the future they predict will come about (hence increasing uncertainty about the future), while the less detail they give about the future the more likely the future they predict will come about (hence decreasing uncertainty about the future).

Thus, the best way to make the future unpredictable is to have too many prophecies.



Submitted August 15, 2023 at 01:25AM by fuckNietzsche https://ift.tt/AxsoL3D
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One of the more subtle losses we've had in the shift from news papers to smart phones, is how we've lost the ability to fluff our news papers sarcastically at one another.

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Submitted August 15, 2023 at 12:21AM by CaptainFunktastic https://ift.tt/T2BKJYL
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Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys all the prerequisites for happiness

Maslow knew what was up. Money gets you all your physiological and safety needs - without satisfying these you can't start to prioritize happiness.



Submitted August 14, 2023 at 01:16AM by nerdqueenhydra https://ift.tt/pZfsBmq
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Charity commercials about mistreated animals are more sad than the ones about people.

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Submitted August 14, 2023 at 12:24AM by Stock_Surfer https://ift.tt/xjUPBte
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You never see newer high-end bicycles at a pawn shop.

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Submitted August 13, 2023 at 01:21AM by ReasonablyConfused https://ift.tt/xU6g8Fs
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Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird.

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Submitted August 13, 2023 at 01:26AM by skoormit https://ift.tt/R0LCFyg
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Farmer's wife doesn't get the farming credit she deserves

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Submitted August 13, 2023 at 12:12AM by JuiceJuuce https://ift.tt/Mvot3Hx
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The biggest human constructs made by scientists are used to study the smallest things we know if in the universe

The Large Hadron Collider has a circumference of 27 km (~17 mi), yet they study things like quarks, and what make those up, which are maybe a trillionth the size of an atom.



Submitted August 12, 2023 at 01:19AM by chemistrybonanza https://ift.tt/5QEWfjk
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Perhaps writing has been invented many times throughout history, but on perishable media.

Clay tablets can last. Stone can last. Tree bark, leaves, lines in sand all don't survive the millennia.



Submitted August 12, 2023 at 12:20AM by AxialGem https://ift.tt/BpfZaX1
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Due to the expansion of the universe, everyone is the center of their visible universe.

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Submitted August 12, 2023 at 12:23AM by GSDFrieden https://ift.tt/nTo8qkB
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A generation of kids is being raised that will at some point figure out that their dad is actually their mom and their mom is actually their dad.

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Submitted August 11, 2023 at 02:25AM by bananapursun https://ift.tt/XG7epW0
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The bigger the bed,the less space you have in your bedroom

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Submitted August 11, 2023 at 01:20AM by Droidunit1A https://ift.tt/uE0FScT
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In poor countries being fat is seen as great, but in rich countries being skinny is seen as great. So the beauty standard being unrealistic is a global thing

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Submitted August 11, 2023 at 12:01AM by Annual_Dick_Sniffer https://ift.tt/Biro780
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glass is so confusing for bugs

they see the outside but there is 0 way through



Submitted August 10, 2023 at 01:08AM by poledancingoctopus https://ift.tt/dKo8sUA
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It takes a lifetime to learn some lessons that must be applied during one's lifetime

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Submitted August 10, 2023 at 01:22AM by Edigophubia https://ift.tt/qmOaERt
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The lottery is hitting such high records lately because people believe it's the only hope they have of escaping the rat race.

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Submitted August 10, 2023 at 12:23AM by QuadSeven https://ift.tt/X5Rg8CW
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Saying good bye via text has become rare.

I just realized this while doing dishes today. I can't remember the last time I wrote good bye (or a similar farewell phrase) to someone, now that we're constantly online.



Submitted August 09, 2023 at 01:44AM by colonyy https://ift.tt/tGiSmEH
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The flavor of cinnamon is so delicate that it might seem like it is something chemically processed, although it's just the inner bark of a tree

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Submitted August 09, 2023 at 12:23AM by AltAccAur https://ift.tt/c9bmFK3
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At some point during the day asking someone if they had a good night sleep becomes weird.

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Submitted August 08, 2023 at 01:22AM by stpfan_1 https://ift.tt/xIhp8N9
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Most people who live ON a farm, live OFF farming.

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Submitted August 08, 2023 at 12:08AM by Bertorrr https://ift.tt/aknKo9m
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Sliding feet first on your back feels the same as sliding feet first on your stomach, but sliding headfirst on your back feels a lot scarier than sliding headfirst on your stomach.

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Submitted August 08, 2023 at 12:14AM by wimpykidfan37 https://ift.tt/s2Cz93q
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Someone who claims they have enough clamps very likely lacks imagination.

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Submitted August 08, 2023 at 12:24AM by plumitt https://ift.tt/46EhPVr
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For the unreached level of fame he had, no one really speaks about Michael Jackson anymore.

Yes I know he’s dead… but more people seem to speak about Elvis than they do MJ.



Submitted August 07, 2023 at 02:18AM by PrimNathanIOW https://ift.tt/aTR1Cc8
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You will never have a washed set of clothes, only if you accept the fact that you have to be completely naked for a few hours

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Submitted August 07, 2023 at 01:19AM by S0TrAiNs https://ift.tt/bh1x6YZ
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Insurance premiums in super hero cities have to be through the roof

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Submitted August 06, 2023 at 11:52PM by Brick_in_the_dbol https://ift.tt/CiaQ6Mk
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Of all the species to gain intellect as strong as ours, a primate may have been one of the worse options.

Most other animal species, though they consistently participate in violent behavior (such as competition, defense, or hunting) tend to be predictable in their violent tendencies. Animals that do not feel competition or the need to defend will often (though warily) exist within the same area without going out of their way to bother each other. For example, birds of various species will frequently hang out in the same area (such as a pond or wetland) with only occasional tensions fueling.

However, it seems primates (of all kinds) tend to be more erratic, hostile, and willing to go out of their way to pick a fight. In areas with monkeys, for example, monkeys are some of the scariest animals to come in contact with due to their aggression. Humans are similarly naturally inclined to impulsive and aggressive behavior and will often take over large spaces and eliminate other animals, even ones that we are not in competition with. Though this practically makes sense (such as protecting crops/homes or preventing diseases), the scale of the destruction is immense.

If another type of animal were to have human-level intellect, would they still be as erratic and destructive? For example, if an egret wee able to learn as well as humans, would they be even more destructive and look for ways to wipe out all the other shorebirds that cohabit the same area to maximize their food production? Would shy animals like a duiker, even if they were gifted with our intellect, still tend to stay away from other animals and keep to themselves?

This is a very hypothetical situation but I imagine that of all the species to be gifted with our intellectual prowess, primates were a worse option due to their inclination towards greed and impulse.



Submitted August 06, 2023 at 02:17AM by Sharpes_Sword https://ift.tt/c8g3uFb
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The first dog was just the wolf that decided to not eat the monkeys in the cave.

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Submitted August 06, 2023 at 12:21AM by ShibaProfessional https://ift.tt/x80bmFN
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Vampire societies don’t have flushing toilets because the members only consume liquid nutrients

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Submitted August 05, 2023 at 02:16AM by FriedForLifeNow https://ift.tt/tscnMyk
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When a smart person is angry, either another very smart person has ruined his plan or a very dumb person has ruined his plan.

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Submitted August 05, 2023 at 02:24AM by 256Moin256 https://ift.tt/Hdb43GS
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Everyone knows at least a little sign language

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Submitted August 05, 2023 at 12:53AM by TML-n64 https://ift.tt/BGPf8pH
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Professionalism is accepting that you were just told what to do and keeping your annoyance and irritation about it to yourself with a smile.

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Submitted August 04, 2023 at 11:59PM by LivinMyAuthenticLife https://ift.tt/h6pZSfw
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alcohol is the only poison that you'll be routinely pressured to consume

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Submitted August 04, 2023 at 02:07AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/ACnGz3K
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We are constantly fighting gravity.

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Submitted August 04, 2023 at 02:39AM by WaCandor https://ift.tt/a1jTHIg
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All of your adopted pets are less likely meeting their parents again

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Submitted August 04, 2023 at 01:24AM by marwa1820 https://ift.tt/awVJRYM
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Drawing people in public is only socially acceptable if you are a fantastic artist

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Submitted August 04, 2023 at 12:08AM by ishimura0802 https://ift.tt/tAgb67a
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The length of a day is determined by the rotation of the earth, but the length of a second, minute, and hour are all completely arbitrary

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Submitted August 03, 2023 at 01:18AM by TributeToFaba https://ift.tt/XlO1M6v
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Everyone is the same colour in infrared.

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Submitted August 03, 2023 at 01:21AM by Diseased-Jackass https://ift.tt/cTkda4F
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Humans are the most advanced objects we know of in the universe.

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Submitted August 03, 2023 at 12:21AM by Ophanil https://ift.tt/dj2lVzb
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Homeowner has meow in it

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Submitted August 02, 2023 at 02:25AM by thumpingcoffee https://ift.tt/FojTfHi
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Most people blindly accept what they're told unless it challenges their standing beliefs

Confirmation bias hits different



Submitted August 02, 2023 at 12:53AM by Running_Is_Life https://ift.tt/5x2tKFP
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Every water main break is a pop-up water park.

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Submitted August 02, 2023 at 12:23AM by TacoBean19 https://ift.tt/ZApUSmy
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