Throwaway account. Never posted before either, I'm on mobile, and I'm not great when it comes to descriptions/giving detail so please bear with me.
Im hoping to get some advice on wether or not I should involve CPS in my situation or even what I should do in the tricky situation I'm in. Some backstory/additional info first of course. I'll try to keep it as consice as I can, but it's rather complicated, at least to me.
So I'm currently living with my mom in our 3 bedroom house with my grandma in her own basement space. My mom is a divorced mother of 6. 4 being my older brother (24) and sister(26), myself, and my younger sister(20) with the remaining 2 being half siblings from her partner of about 8 or so years (my concept of time isn't really there I won't lie) who are 6 and 7 years of age.
I'm 21 and I just moved out of my apartment I was living in with my siblings due to financial issues, but moreso due to a personal battle with my recently diagnosed Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, which through the year have lead me to make several attempts on my life and even go missing after having run away. Because of this, my siblings(full-blood) and my mom thought a change of environment might help me. However, one of the major reasons for having moved out in the first place (which has grown in severity since I left a year ago) was the condition of my mom's house, being 1: How poorly maintained it is (grime, dust, piles of clutter strewn about, appliances needing replacement) and 2:being how chaotic and overwhelmingly negative the environment is (lots of yelling from mom, her partner aswell as from my brothers)
The reason I'm considering involving CPS is because of how my half-brothers are being treated, as they are neglected, abused verbally, and improperly punished (largely by the father) which includes: ~being left to play with videogames we can't afford instead of engaging them and doing homework ~given toys and games repeatedly to get them to stop whining/misbehaving ~being told to shut up ~being told to fuck off ~being threatened to be struck or hit hard (never followed up with actual physical abuse) ~being sworn at ~general insults (nothing too severe, but still mean spirited) ~aggressively told to do things or behave a certain way ~anecdotal, but angrily told to go to bed inspite of having tv's/games on or other things preventing sleep and getting aggravated that they aren't sleeping. (being up past 11 is pretty normal thru week) ~they are in separate rooms, youngest with mom and oldest with father
Some of their behaviour includes: ~swearing and sometimes vulgar language ~indecent exposure (very uncommon, but as bad as defecating in public places for humor) ~hitting other kids (uncommon) and family, especially towards each other, hence separate rooms ~loud intrusive behaviour of a proactive manner ~mischievous behaviour ~slow development, currently behaving and speaking as if they were about 4 by my assumption ~hyperactivity ~manipulative behaviour - manifested in both fake crying and fake affection (or maybe just moodswings?) ~excessive crying over even tiny things (there is an absurd amount of yelling here DAILY) ~defiant behavior ~lack of discipline (make a mess with no regard for anyone as they know it will be cleaned for them) ~possible fear of being hit
Im an empathetic person, and maybe that's getting in the way of this more than it reasonably should. My mom suffers from depression aswell and went through a messy divorce with my dad who at the time had an affair and abused substances. Her partner had abusive parents who essentially disowned him through his youth and even today, and honestly isn't all bad.
But I can't ignore the effect it's having on not only me, as it's only provoking my mental health issues and suicidal ideation, But it's very clear to literally everyone in my family that my brothers are on a fast track to some very severe issues themselves, even though no one will say who's to blame. Everyone knows but no one is saying anything or acting because no one, including myself, wants to disrupt the peace. But I can't remain silent like this, it feels so wrong.
Im a rather timid person. I never risk provoking anyone, especially people Im close to. Im terrified of being involved in conflict. I love my family and I desperately want us all to be happy and want my brothers to grow into functioning members of society instead of developing a plethora of issues (substance or mental) like me and my other siblings. I know that If I involve CPS they'll know it's me, and it will cause a tremendous amount of friction across my family as no one wants to admit there's a serious problem here (including my mom who's EXTREMELY defensive about her parenting) . I feel like I'm biting the hand that feeds me, as my mom has actually done alot for me so I'm worried I might get kicked out if I do anything. It feels like a lose-lose situation.
*In summary: living with fairly neglectful and oftentimes verbally abusive parents along with said poorly behaved brothers in a poorly maintained house while struggling with major depression and BPD with a life I'm trying to put back together and the threat of having some intense friction between me and the majority of my family if I try to do anything about it. *
Please help.
P. 'S Sorry if this was too long, I wanted to include as much info as I could to get a clear image of my situation.
Submitted December 24, 2017 at 12:02PM by Mysterious_Stranger9 http://ift.tt/2BYgjpw