Let me attempt to explain the dating pattern of my egotistical, sociopathic, selfish ex boyfriend...
June of 2015. He and I started talking around May of that year. We were seniors in high school & had Chemistry together. We began talking because he decided one day in class to come up and steal my pencil (lame flirting attempt?). But it worked, and we started talking soon after that daily.
Prom rolls around and I'm excited to go because I hear he's going to be in our limo ride to the prom. I'm skeptical though, becuase I know he had a 'thing' with this girl in grade 11, so I was expecting him to take her. He didn't....and he spent 80% of the prom night dancing, drinking, and hanging out with me.
After prom, we began fb messaging every day. We'd talk and joke about anything, and the conversations never died. About a month in to messaging him on fb, I hear through a friend that he and this "girl he had a thing with" became official. At this time, I was happy for him. I didn't really like him at this time , it was more of an attraction. I just thought he was hot and funny.
Fall rolls around, and he and I end up going to the same college. And we end up spending even more time in person together. All this time, he's dating this girl. He makes me feel special though, I never got along with a guy that well. He was charming, funny, and sooo easy to talk to.
I find out that around october of 2015, he and his ex split. He messaged me and told me, and I let him know I was sorry. Immediately after, he was already asking me to hang out on the weekend. I was of course down for this, but strangely he never followed up. 3 weeks later, I find out he and his ex got back together. I never realized how much I liked him at this point, becuase hearing they got back together really hurt me.
Anyway, he and I stayed friends. Still talked constantly. He even became flirty..complimenting my looks, teasing me, etc. I loved the attention, I won't lie, and I found myself getting in deeper with my feelings for him.
New Years eve rolls around. His girlfriend is away in Florida, and he and I go to a party. We're drunk, and he gets very very close to me throughout the night. We were cuddly, (never kissed!) but just very close and flirty. I got his number that night and we began texting. It was at this point that I realized I had two options: 1) tell him I liked him 2) Hide my feelings and distance myself. I was stuck between these two options for basically all of January of 2016. I got advice from my parents and friends, and ultimately I decided to tell him that I was getting very flirty vibes from him, and I couldn't help but think i started to develop feelings, but I didn't want to interefere with his relationship.
he said he felt the same, and he was confused, as he and his gf were having problems. Ill spare the random details, but he and her broke up about 4 weeks later. He and i started casually hanging out after that, and by late February of 2016, he had asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and we started dating.
He and I lasted for 9 months. We broke up in November because things were falling apart. He wasn't initiating hangouts, wasn't offering to drive me home (we live in the same town), was being so sooo distant, etc. I even spoke to him about this, but nothing changed. So I ended things, but we ended on a good, mutual note.
I started NC immediately. I was hurting, but I started feeling better come January-ish. Until I scrolled facebook one night in February 2017, and saw that he had uploaded a photo of him and his ex skating. He had gotten back with her. I was devastated, and pissed. I never wanted to speak to him again.
Randomly, after months of NC, he reaches out late March, asking me how I've been. I was cold and barely replying, but he was trying so hard to put on the charm & he kept the convo going. I found out that he and the ex had split up after only 3 months of dating, and that he realized it was stupid, a waste of time, and they aren't meant for each other (let me remind you this was their THIRD breakup).
We talked things out about where our relationship went wrong, and agreed we'd at least stay on mutual friendly terms. After a month of talking, he confesses he still has feelings and thinks we are worth a shot at trying again. We meet up in person to talk about this & he was so confident that we'd make it work. I turned him down though, how was I supposed to trust him after everything? He understood, but said he still appreciates me as a friend, so we agreed on friendly terms still.
I'm gonna skip ahead to August of 2017. We've been talking for months and months and one day we met up in person, and were just chatting and I realized I had feelings again. And, he had been putting in SO much effort the past several months (like he never did before), so after a while of thinking it over, I said I wouldn't mind trying to date again. He seemed like he had changed, and was really devoted to me. He agreed, and we dated for the second time.
Shit went down over the christmas break. I noticed he began to not have his phone around, alot. And when he would have it, he'd always tilt his phone screen away from me, out of my line of sight. Which was odd. I just had a gut feeling he was hiding something. After about 2 weeks of this going on, I decided to ask what he was hiding. He said nothing. I asked if he was talking to someone he didn't want me knowing about, he said no. I said well then can I see your phone haha? He went silent.
I asked if it was his ex. For him to just tell me. He said yes, but it was just friendly. He'd cut the contact if it bothered me. So i said yeah, that would be great.
2 days later I ask again about the "cutting the contact" thing, and he said he was "working on it". I asked if he still had feelings, and he said of course not (so why is it so hard to cut the contact....?). I asked if he truly wanted to cut the contact, and after (alot) of pushing...he finally said "honestly she's been in my life for years so it'd be hard to cut her out".
I knew I didn't want to get involved in this stupid cycle again. So i told him, if you'd rather have her around, that's fine. I'm going to back out of this though, because I can't be at peace knowing shes still in your life, and especially after every time they had contact....it led to them dating. 3 times. He went quiet, and said he was sorry. And that he understood where I was coming from. That was it.
He chose contact with his "doormat" ex, over keeping me around as his gf.
I'm so confused. From your opinion, who was the doormat here? Me, or his ex?
Submitted February 02, 2018 at 02:35AM by julez_527 http://ift.tt/2DX7EIx
