I am not a movie critic. I'm just a guy who likes Jackie Chan. And so, it is with great sadness that I come to warn you: Kung Fu Yoga is absolutely terrible.
It's poorly written. It's poorly paced. It's poorly acted. It is thinly-veiled Chinese propaganda. At one point, Jackie Chan's character says (without any hint of irony): "By law, [all this discovered treasure] belongs to the government." At another point, the camera zooms out into space just long enough to show an orbiting satellite sporting the Chinese flag. This satellite has nothing at all to do with the plot. It's just... there.
The characters are all one-dimensional and exhibit virtually no personality. The female characters are especially bland and exist only as damsels and set dressing. I'm pretty sure it fails the Bechdel test. The villain is the most compelling character in the film, probably because he is the only one who bothers to emote while reading his lines.
If at this point you are thinking "Who cares? As long as the fight scenes are good!" then let me tell you: the fight scenes are not good. As much as it pains me to admit, Jackie is old now (he's 63!) and he cannot fight like he used to. Kung Fu Yoga makes extensive use of quick cuts and "wire-fu" in an attempt to make fights seem exciting, and while there is an occasional glimmer of that old Jackie Chan creativity, the results are consistently underwhelming.
I can never get those 107 minutes of my life back, but it's not too late for you. Please, don't let my suffering be in vain. If I can stop just one person from watching Kung Fu Yoga, then it will all be worth it.
Submitted March 09, 2018 at 09:24AM by HonkHonkBeepKapow http://ift.tt/2G7HOiC
