I have grown up with an extreme fear of rape. I has prevented me from ever going on a date or even wearing dresses. I am 20 years old and I have never had a boy friend. And the one time in 16 years that I wore a dress, my graduation, I had a panic attack because I was separated from my family in the middle of downtown. I was so scared. I want to wear dresses and skirts but I just get myself to go through with it.
The fear of rape I have isn't the fear of the act. Everyone has to lose the virginity one day. However it is the fear of becoming pregnant with someone else's child. And the fear that because someone over powered me my life could be over. I have dreams for my future just like everyone else and I want to make the decision when I am ready for a kid.
I would like to have non hormonal birth control but I can't afford it and I live with my parents still. I know with the insurance it would be very cheap. The problem is not that but that my parents are very religious and my mom says that birth control is just so kids can have sex. And that the side affects of less acne and no cramps are just a way to open the door to thoughts about sex.
To reiterate I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want to have sex until I am ready. I am very responsible and I want to not die alone in life. At this rate I will because I am afraid to even go on a first date.
Can anyone give me advice on how to approach my mom? Or if even the idea of BC for confidence is crazy? I just want to wear a dress or a skirt with our braking out into tears. Or go out with someone with out being scared of siting in a car with them. Also my dad is someone you can't even talk to about have cramps. He doesn't want to hear about any thing that makes a girl a girl.
Submitted July 20, 2018 at 01:35AM by Saddie82 https://ift.tt/2Lsbqw8
