I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when this movie was green light. I would also love to know how anyone outside of Mark Wahlberg and Peter Berg thought this would become a blockbuster. I see it’s supposedly spawned a media franchise and I just cannot fathom how.
I’ll try to avoid spoilers in case you feel like wasting time and money that could be better spent on damn near anything else. Before I get in to it I have to say this was clearly Lauren Cohens break into movies since Walking Dead, same with Rhonda Rousey after the terrible expendable 3, and John Malkovich is completely wasted in this as well.
My favorite part has to be the beginning. It sets Mark Wahlberg up to be this genius loner who excels at everything and is misunderstood because he is a genius and has a fun little quirks of slapping a rubber band on his wrist anytime his mind starts to lose control. Because, duh, he’s above us. He’s a genius. We don’t operate on his level. Then we get scene after scene of him speaking as fast as possible and trying to sound intimidating and clever at the same time. I imagine when he read this or came up with it, he was cumming as hard as a 12 year old boy who just discovered the internet. It is essentially the epitome of all that is Mark Wahlberg. I can’t imagine watching Shooter, Pain and Gain, or anything else because this is truly one and a half hours of Mark Wahlberg being himself with a gun. And it couldn’t be anymore boring.
To top it off, the villain - the only real positive here due to the hand to hand combat scenes, says at the end “say hello to your mother”. The classic Wahlberg catchphrase. As if we weren’t treated like shit enough by having to endure this movie already, they slap us on the face yet again with the “LOL see we’re so clever” tag at the end. Which literally makes zero sense in the context of this movie. The joke would have been better spent on “The Other Guys”.
Anyway, watch something else, watch the fucking Postman with Costner if you have to, watch Gigli, do not indulge this garbage.
Edit: okay don’t watch Gigli.
Edit 2: Go watch Robin.
Submitted April 24, 2019 at 09:22AM by rather_be_a_hobbit http://bit.ly/2IDlpxN