So this is going to sound like a strange and ridiculous post, and I agree it is. I have a friend who has always been drawn to 'Hispanic culture' (she is White: British and Irish to be exact, and I am Hispanic). My family is from Puerto Rico but they never taught me Spanish because they wanted to English to be my primary language growing up in a Western country. When I was around 25, I took a Spanish language learning class and this is where I originally met my friend. She was taking Spanish classes because her boyfriend at the time was Mexican and she wanted to learn the language. She befriended me very quickly, which I didn't think much of at the time, but when she later added me to Facebook I saw that most of her friends were hispanic and that she seemed to be really to Hispanic cultures.
Any way, fast forward a few years: we remained friends after the course ended. Her and her bf broke up but she was on the hunt for another Hispanic bf because she "doesn't like White guys". I found her infatuation with all things Spanish, a little strange but it didn't concern me this much until recently. A few months ago she took a dna ancestry test to see if there would be anything 'interesting' in her DNA and told me that she was hoping there was a trace of ancestry from a Hispanic country. Low and behold, most of her DNA was from Britain and Ireland, but there was a trace of 0.8% [less than 1%] from Cuba. Since then she has been flaunting this and really milking the situation. Almost every conversation we have she has to bring up something about 'being Hispanic' and making generalizations about Hispanic people (e.g. "you know how Spanish guys are"). She went to one of her Ecuadorian friend's weddings and told me that she was trying very hard to "look Spanish" by putting brown extensions in her hair and tanning her skin (she is naturally a red head with freckles and pale skin). I find this behaviour both disturbing and offensive. The fact that her behaviour is quite bizarre is besides the point to me, I am appalled that she would even suggest that she is Hispanic due to having less than 1% ancestry from Cuba. Most of us have some sort of a mix in our DNA, but at what point can we claim heritage to these cultures? She and her parents and her grandparents and great grand parents [and generations before that] have all lived and navigated the world as White, British/Irish people and neither her lived experiences nor her physical features resemble anything associated with being a Hispanic woman. I understand there is no 'universal' Hispanic identity, but there are shared experiences, generational customs, values, and an overall culture that is connected to our identity. I am writing to vent as her behaviour has really disturbed and offended me and I am not sure if I am overreacting or if I have a 'right' to feel this way. My culture and ethnicity are very significant to me and it feels insulting for someone to claim they are the same as me due to having less than 1% ancestry from who knows how many generations ago. I haven't said much to her because I am not sure if it is 'my place' to comment on this, so I am really just wondering what others think. Would you be offended if someone behaved this way with regard to your culture? Is it not a big deal? Would you say something? Any insights would be really appreciated, thanks for reading.
TLDR: After taking a dna ancestry test, my White friend [British & Irish] found out she is 0.8% (less than 1%) Cuban and insists that she is Hispanic. I find this offensive as an actual Hispanic woman (born in Puerto Rico to Puerto Rican parents) and I am wondering if I am overreacting or if this is really problematic.
Submitted September 30, 2020 at 05:06AM by MegKhh https://ift.tt/30ACS1p