Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:43AM by 519FerretsInABox https://ift.tt/39UycYo
Technically all 2d digital works of art are pixel art, just of varying sizes.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:43AM by 519FerretsInABox https://ift.tt/39UycYo
Cotton candy was invented by a dentist
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:48AM by pink-flamingoo https://ift.tt/3AZVmbx
Centaurs are technically insects
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:50AM by richardawkings https://ift.tt/3mfyWNf
We are at the centre of the observable universe
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:31AM by linear_voyager https://ift.tt/3ioLaSC
People aren’t afraid of death, they’re actually afraid of what happens afterwards.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:33AM by Fanofeverything2003 https://ift.tt/2Yc5eAM
Batman almost certainly uses dark mode on all of his apps
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:35AM by JamWat23 https://ift.tt/3zRzoGs
While on your death bed, people will likely be either overly honest or lying straight to your face.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:37AM by Drinking-Ducks https://ift.tt/39VeWtz
Artists refer to people who can draw and sing/write songs, even though paintings/drawings and songs aren't the only forms of art
I mean, literally anything can be art (according to my teacher, at least), but still
And I guess it'd be weird if a lot of other people's professions are also called "artists"
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:39AM by SuperAlloyBerserker https://ift.tt/2Yc5a40
On the whole, humans are the cancer of nature.
On the whole, humans are the cancer of nature.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:49AM by Piccolo_Bass https://ift.tt/2Y7HHR2
You have survived every battle that you have been in
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:41AM by Eniga-ankan47 https://ift.tt/3AYgKhs
Someone, somewhere has probably decided to get cosmetic surgery because of The Sims character creator graphics
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:45AM by megalyknight https://ift.tt/3omR7Dx
Slides will likely not be as fun on planets with lower gravity
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:47AM by QuikAttak https://ift.tt/39SLjsV
As technology advances, we get closer to being able to play an actual quidditch game
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:49AM by JakeJ406 https://ift.tt/2ZNcsMc
everything is technically limited edition
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:49AM by SHAT_MY_SHORTS https://ift.tt/3D2bc6g
Dinosaurs existed for 165 million years. Human beings have existed for less than half a million years. That's a blink of an eye compared to the years they were alive. Crazy to think about.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:31AM by 65redroses1 https://ift.tt/39UZgH0
When farts smell terrible in showers due to the enclosed space and high humidity, they must be absolutely toxic in a sauna
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:32AM by KevtrOn_ https://ift.tt/2Wvnc0s
an insignificant other is your hand
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:42AM by FapianoX https://ift.tt/3zWFJ3o
Everyone was once the world’s youngest person but not everyone will be the world’s oldest person
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:44AM by capitalyze https://ift.tt/3F6RM1S
Cordial is cheaper for people who like it weak.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:48AM by Cleeth https://ift.tt/3A8wQnD
You have won every battle to the death youve been in
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:49AM by Eniga-ankan47 https://ift.tt/3AZBGoa
Everything humanity wants out of an AI, cats already get out of humanity.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:42AM by ItsKnope2016 https://ift.tt/3EXUN4B
You never really realize just how powerful a human bite can be until you bite your tongue or cheek.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:42AM by JPH_RedFive https://ift.tt/2WrXp9q
In 2021, movies apologize before you see them
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:48AM by setheb https://ift.tt/3F3Bern
Fat acceptance might be the only movement without any movement
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:34AM by Zaherili_Mardangi https://ift.tt/3ojMom3
You can instantly tell what class you are when you hear the word "fencing". If you think of someone putting up a fence you are working class, if you think of the sword fighting sport you are upperclass.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:35AM by Grazthespaz https://ift.tt/3D0J2IW
If you were born just one year later you would have completely different friends growing up, making you a whole different person…
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:39AM by Nunqo https://ift.tt/2ZD4Prv
Lava thinks it’s sooo hot, until it hits the ocean.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:45AM by glibgloby https://ift.tt/3F3vsWJ
Girls have secret groupchats where they send pictures of their boobs
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:46AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/2WuuhhS
Subtitled movies command your attention. No phone. No distractions.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:49AM by deathintelevision https://ift.tt/3ojm8Ip
Events like NASCAR are a type of Critical Race Theory
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:39AM by Rey_De_Los_Completos https://ift.tt/3iltoQq
C-3PO is more related to the skywalker line than Rey
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:43AM by SusDino https://ift.tt/3AW25Dl
Elliot in mr. robot couldn't hack in 2021 anyone because of 2FA
You can no longer brute force pal!
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:48AM by berke96x https://ift.tt/3ATB2Zj
Water is one of the only liquids that is naturally clear, but a lot of gasses are clear in nature
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:49AM by TheArcticHusky https://ift.tt/3AXBQwg
A fetish develops itself due to an extreme attraction to something that's lacking in the life of the beholder.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:49AM by danneeooh https://ift.tt/3uvSroD
Limes are actually rarely a lime green color. They are usually much darker
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:35AM by lukebomb3 https://ift.tt/2YeLufT
There are people who would probably be your best friends if you met them, but you’ll never even know they exist
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:45AM by Mush_Tilly https://ift.tt/3usgNQ3
Colors could look different to everyone and nobody would know
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:45AM by PurpleLoving9109 https://ift.tt/39MF89F
The urge to sleep debunks the idea of us living in someone's dream.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:46AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3zWRabc
Dreams might be the 5th dimension string theorists are looking for.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:47AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3kSaiCS
The very first porn stars did not want to be adult film stars when they were in elementary school.
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:47AM by snowfalcon777 https://ift.tt/3zT4mhi
Mom Gets Lost in the Forest - Part 2 (Comedy)
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:01AM by crimpysuasages https://ift.tt/3F2q0Dy
a typical "meet cute" plays out like this, not what you see in rom coms
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:11AM by Doogie7 https://ift.tt/39K1xVd
Michael Lake (Reel)
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:21AM by michaellakereddit https://ift.tt/3B4IOjr
Five Deontay Wilder Knockouts (In Super Slow Motion)
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:22AM by Goofy_030 https://ift.tt/3kObIyo
Every member of the taliban has a mother
And possibly a sister and an aunt.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:24AM by zib6272 https://ift.tt/3mbA4BJ
Someone you used to have casual daily run-ins with has died since you saw them last.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:26AM by Insta_Baddy_ChiChis https://ift.tt/3umcpST
There’s nothing wrong with men reading romance novels, as long as they don’t do it in gym shorts or sweatpants.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:33AM by ContraryHook31 https://ift.tt/3uozown
Cold and Flu medicine doesn't cure you of anything, it just suppresses the symptoms until your body fights it off.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:34AM by farnsworthfan https://ift.tt/39HW4yi
Mario wasn't a hero, he was tripping on shrooms while breaking into peoples castles looking for a woman while massacring turtles and having delusions of pyromancy
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:36AM by baryonyx257 https://ift.tt/2Y8Vkjl
There weren’t any mirror in ancient greece. Otherwise, medusa wouldn’t exist.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:48AM by rockefellerbr https://ift.tt/3APHLUl
Dead rabbits always look happy.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:43AM by RandomBitFry https://ift.tt/3zJIy7O
It's really hard to imagine an old person named "Ashley"
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:44AM by Honest_Johnson https://ift.tt/2XZNxnu
Rule: If a social group exists, there is a nasty stereotype about it.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:46AM by Ateo88 https://ift.tt/3ATDb7A
A question can be considered solid, but it can’t be considered liquid.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:46AM by cjohn4043 https://ift.tt/3kOvwSb
Tom Holland's Peter Parker must not be a Prequel Star Wars fan as he would definitely have recognized Nick Fury to be Mace Windu.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:50AM by Master_Freeze https://ift.tt/3igxRUq
Asking someone if they’re up for something is the same as asking if they’re down with that.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:45AM by katykaya https://ift.tt/2WixYXE
We are so lucky that dogs come with a built in welcome sign, their tail!
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:46AM by Bubonic_Egg https://ift.tt/3igcNNM
There never will be surname like Programmer or Robot, because those things didn't existed when surnames were established
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:46AM by hany3112 https://ift.tt/3ukkuqV
A hut where you laugh is better than a castle where you cry
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:49AM by umberto_pagano https://ift.tt/3uhWFQC
Getting older leads to feeling more needed but less wanted.
Maybe this is just my experience, though. Mileage may vary.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:49AM by nwatrekker https://ift.tt/3ocCu5L
Doing something "like a boss" is misleading, since a boss usually delegates tasks.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:39AM by SergeantPsycho https://ift.tt/3kJPfm0
The t Pools on the Titanic even after 107 years are still full
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:41AM by pygmypuffonacid https://ift.tt/3id8XVF
Gillette is the Bud Light of men's products
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:44AM by myle_xd https://ift.tt/3ufOLam
The first fish to evolve into a tree must‘ve been incredibly slow.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:50AM by Theparadingkitten https://ift.tt/2XVnle0
There are probably times on the clock you have never seen
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:34AM by GerritDeBloempot https://ift.tt/3CVNecT
Finger guns actually make the shape of good trigger discipline
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:38AM by _arjun https://ift.tt/39Fz82y
The biggest prank Loki ever played is making people believe that loving your enemies makes any sense
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:38AM by AbaloneSea7265 https://ift.tt/3mltLf5
For a guy trying to remain anonymous, Batman sure does a good job branding himself.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:41AM by ourmanflint1 https://ift.tt/3AMU9ED
There was once a day where one of your parents set you down, and never picked you back up again.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:43AM by Zanthom19 https://ift.tt/3ugMLi8
Everybody loves French crepes but if you move the e after the p to before the p you get something everybody hates
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:50AM by Munshar https://ift.tt/3udSwxa
No one ever really made a big deal out of David Beckham getting with the rest of the Spice Girls, even after they made their rules very explicit.
I feel like thats rule #1 at the top of Spice Girl membership, but is David really doing his best 24/7 to be friends with the rest of the Spice Girls? Unclear.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:44AM by nvrdie71 https://ift.tt/3o9F5xe
Everything you see at the supermarket will be thrown away.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:46AM by YannisAP https://ift.tt/2XUNycl
Tiny insects probably don’t know when we’re watching them, the same way we don’t know that something a lot larger is watching us…
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:46AM by joshheath98 https://ift.tt/2XXAVhq
And the good one dies thinking kindness pays, thought he didn't know that kindness payed the bad one.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:48AM by SiD_-_-_ https://ift.tt/3ufcvve
People who were failed by the education system are the perfect people to help rework the education system, yet they get ignored because they were failed by the education system.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:49AM by bubbling_river https://ift.tt/3EUcxh7
Your parent’s birthday is your half-birthday.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:30AM by o2lsports https://ift.tt/3B0YVOZ
To live forever, you have to die.
Just think of all the famous people that are not longer with us. Think of the ancient philosophers.
They all have one thing in common they are dead but still alive in the collective memory.
Some in the collective mind of the world, some in the collective memories of their friends and family, some dissapeard entirely.
As long as you remember your old ones, a part of them will live inside you.
Peace
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:34AM by imfloydd https://ift.tt/3m2ZSQk
Any piece of poo can memorize a dictionary, but it takes wisdom to make corrections that are helpful
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:35AM by youareunhinged https://ift.tt/3CNCTj5
if all content that doesn't fit a specific set of topics approved by a small group of people gets removed immediately, then that group are effectively the thought police.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:47AM by i_hate_tarantulas https://ift.tt/3ibSnpb
It's to easy to forget just how big our world is when we get caught up in our small lives.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:47AM by TheBuddhistTraveler https://ift.tt/3odNa3S
Luke and Leia have to live the rest of their lives as siblings both knowing that they're sexually attracted to each other.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:44AM by cactus_deepthroater https://ift.tt/39K3HUE
If the Onion posted real news stories people still wouldn't believe them
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:44AM by blairsimons https://ift.tt/3i9DQKw
If brunch is eaten between breakfast and lunch, then lunch is technically brinner
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:48AM by ChubbyHongg https://ift.tt/3kKLfBY
Wearing sandals in a formal setting is seen OK for women, but not for men
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:24AM by goddamnfaith12 https://ift.tt/3CMCNIh
Going deaf in adulthood from listening to loud music as a teen turned out to be less of a problem than we were led to believe.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:36AM by snowfalcon777 https://ift.tt/39ElFbd
Humanity would probably save billions of gallons of water per year if people didn’t flush when all they do is pee
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:41AM by JMRooDukes808 https://ift.tt/3zO2c2l
Humans are the only animals that enjoy spicy foods
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:41AM by Griffinkeeler https://ift.tt/3CO5IvQ
All of us have, at some point, kicked a pregnant woman.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:45AM by JeannieRyan https://ift.tt/3CLG62A
Willy Wonka is the Walter White of Sugar.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:50AM by RyaKun https://ift.tt/39CLKHB
We are accidentally selectively breeding uncatchable fish
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:34AM by Eireconnection https://ift.tt/3ETrwb9
Drinking gatorade fortified with vitamins would hypothetically be just as healthy or healthier than eating a variety of fruits.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:35AM by Wisco_Mann https://ift.tt/39EgMyT
The nicest people probably also thank Siri after each request.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:40AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3zGv5O1
It's good porcupines don't suffer from male pattern baldness like humans
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:46AM by smellmybuttfoo https://ift.tt/3CNxSXB
Someday "lifehack" will be a word used to describe failed and/or ugly attempts at homemade stuff and the younger people won't know why
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:47AM by henry_paprika https://ift.tt/3ud3SkZ
Since space is filled with energy, what we perceive as empty space is a physical entity which feels like nothing since we always touch it.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:23AM by wfezzari https://ift.tt/3AOQg1O
We're closer to 2100 than WW2
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:34AM by Androgogy https://ift.tt/3zIVSt2
elastigirl can alter her proportions to fit any clothing size
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:34AM by netflixandchild https://ift.tt/3lZi0L4
It’s harder to get second place then First
Because you have to be able to maintain yourself over 3rd place, yet under First
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:35AM by WhyThough08 https://ift.tt/2ZyRlNz
Have y'all ever noticed that petty behavior is seen as funny in rich/famous people while it'd be seen as petty if it's done by the average citizen
This might be really obvious for some people but if you haven't noticed it here you go.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:39AM by sayman_art https://ift.tt/3ofn293
Starting your day with running is a great way to make sure your day can't get any worse
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:48AM by Tronyx001 https://ift.tt/39BK1Tb
we are lucky we don't have any naturally exposed bones just like teeth, or we would have to brush them too
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:26AM by PigIlFigo32 https://ift.tt/3o983xm
Recyclable trash bags defeats the entire purpose
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:32AM by whatsupdoc17 https://ift.tt/2XOSCiq
Even though pets are only a small part of our life, we take up the majority of theirs.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:36AM by vizthex https://ift.tt/3o6EDzE
Spinning space stations are the ultimate amusement park rides.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:37AM by WeTheSummerKid https://ift.tt/3EU7oFK
G O D is one sadistic son of B
G O D is one sadistic son of B. so much suffering in this world.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:49AM by ral20 https://ift.tt/3m22g9R
John Wick's dog is responsible for more fictional deaths than most movie villains
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:38AM by sugar-soad https://ift.tt/3AN8dOg
Fighter pilots probably don’t think roller coasters are fun
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:38AM by moop8187 https://ift.tt/3m0RyjX
The Word "Before" Comes After the Word "After" in the Dictionary. 0/10 Literally Unplayable.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:40AM by sober_wan_kenobi https://ift.tt/39D2DCb
The western hemisphere is located to the east of the eastern hemisphere.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:47AM by make_reddit_great https://ift.tt/3AK7uNF
If a church is in a strip mall, then the priest is a stripper.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:47AM by Edgar_Thirst https://ift.tt/3ofG1js
The human brain can create comprehensive models of things it can't comprehend.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:22AM by Thecolortheorist https://ift.tt/39DDBmk
someone that drinks 5 litres of water a day and someone that drinks 500 millilitres a day both drink an unhealthy amount of water
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:22AM by ToiletClogger42069 https://ift.tt/3o7Gt3j
Most dog owners will never get pussy
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:24AM by BatimadosAnos60 https://ift.tt/3kGtaoz
The Earth is the only place in the known universe where wood is more common than diamonds
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:26AM by N1664TR0N3000 https://ift.tt/3kGQKBC
The earth's population is decreasing, very slowly.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:44AM by GHfan27 https://ift.tt/3o2GiGC
For kids, "snow" is without the "s", but for adults, it’s without the "s" and "w".
Kids: snow
adults: snow
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:45AM by Mewpup https://ift.tt/3AMYiIw
Wireless chargers have wires
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:45AM by blackie-arts https://ift.tt/3AJKHl9
Eating is our daily jaw exercise
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:46AM by AmericaRUserious https://ift.tt/3D0Y5lV
If there ever is a prince of Nigeria in need of money, he’s going to be sorely disappointed with people’s lack of generosity.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:49AM by conradicalsmith108 https://ift.tt/3lYYkqv
The vagina is the original 3D printer
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:50AM by slop0090 https://ift.tt/2ZwoLfM
People on the internet are ok until they get judgemental or don't worry about consequences
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:25AM by Bearturnedhuman https://ift.tt/3CGAcja
The people driving the speed limit in the right lane are probably more likely to be committing a crime than the people speeding
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:29AM by Cgrisz21 https://ift.tt/3o6zZ4I
Every music is the joust the same music it different people and music people band too rally hall is too band and old it too and it old old and knbbbsbb ouOUOUOUOoUuOj and it good good good good right good.
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:36AM by Stayhydrated3 https://ift.tt/3AHKKOn
The two big economic crises of 2021 were both "EverGr..." (Evergreen/Evergiven & Evergrande) Hmmm
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:41AM by SusanForeman https://ift.tt/3CIa8nR
Tech recruiters must get a lot of dates bc they're use to rejection but keep trying
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:44AM by mfairview https://ift.tt/3zHLSjP
If you woke up from a deep sleep, be grateful because your glass hasn't run out of life yet, So don't spill the rest of it on sadness carpet. No one will clean your mess. everyone is busy with their own mess!
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:49AM by raydenbrough https://ift.tt/39zUVIO
Practically lived at the office for the past year, it’s so satisfying playing the (almost) final product.
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:28AM by Vole85 https://ift.tt/3lV31Sm
BriTANick - Herpex (2008)
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:37AM by TrekStebber https://ift.tt/3uebYd1
The most heartbreaking pun in history
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:49AM by Beautiful-DyzKH0rd https://ift.tt/39FR3WI
Quintin Tarantino judging American Idol
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:01AM by kx11 https://ift.tt/3AFjr7f
Pug and German Shepard mix
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:24AM by jonelliotelliot https://ift.tt/3kEauWt
"Cleanser" is the gentrified version of "Cleaner".
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:34AM by SayLittleDoMuch https://ift.tt/3o7nq9o
Water is probably one of the only products that has more stuff in it the cheaper it is.
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:35AM by MeIsmE_373 https://ift.tt/39yZRxR
The number of people older than you is always going down
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:38AM by breck https://ift.tt/2ZzhvQp
Being "tough on crime" is the perfect facade for stomping out rival gangs.
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:43AM by Mutant_Llama1 https://ift.tt/3EOgaoM
Everybody has at least one skeleton in their closet that would change everyone’s perspective on them
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:44AM by papas-walking-stick https://ift.tt/3ubMz3N
The Russian Norm MacDonald Didn't Kill Himself.
I was watching Norm on the View the other day and overheard him being told to "Go Home" and "You're a Dead Man". After ruminating on how Norm was treated on that show I realized that a Russian Norm would have actually been killed for jokes half as truthful - at least without being twice as funny. #RIP
Reference: https://youtu.be/rtrkF6t7VWI?t=224
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:43AM by JustALinuxNerd https://ift.tt/39CVnGy
Ten plus Ten and Eleven plus Eleven are same. Ten plus ten is Twenty and Eleven plus Eleven is Twenty too.
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:44AM by veytal https://ift.tt/3AGUHf8
At some point, each and every one of us will write the last post of our lives.
What do you want yours to be?
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:46AM by ThatGeo https://ift.tt/3i6TRRr
If you have a friend named Aaron he’s most likely at the top of your phone contacts list
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:47AM by Strike_Severe https://ift.tt/3i4YH1s
When lab-grown meat takes over animal agriculture, people growing up on lab-grown meat will be really confused as to why we loved animals, yet also killed them for food
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:47AM by saminator1002 https://ift.tt/3CEaGeg
Using paper to make save the trees posters is a bold fuck you.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:47AM by Appropriate_Put174 https://ift.tt/3i2tuMp
Spiderman must yank out so many windows when he's webslinging through the city.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:47AM by theironfist29 https://ift.tt/3lWkQQK
One day, modern technology will be considered vintage.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:49AM by approblade https://ift.tt/2XJhqZa
Dinosaur Toys made from plastic are dinosaurs made from old dinosaurs
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:42AM by Fynerious https://ift.tt/3EKNTPW
Married shapeshifters would probably have the weirdest sex possible.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:45AM by yoavluria https://ift.tt/3i4fpOO
girl farts are smelly
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:46AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3kwJxDX
Man is the only animal that advertises footwear on hats
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:47AM by World-Tight https://ift.tt/3CKPtQb
Instead of Build a Bear it's Build a Bread. You make a loaf of bread with a machine get to choose the options like type, thickness, etc.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:49AM by TeroLife https://ift.tt/3CEHDr9
Nearly one third of all countries on Earth celebrate an independence day from the British Empire.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:29AM by dunkthelunk8430 https://ift.tt/3kAMyTT
Lakes and ponds look like mass gravesites to snowmen.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:30AM by rastroboy https://ift.tt/3lQ7HZH
Over the Air is the same as Over the Ground
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:32AM by mastermindxs https://ift.tt/39AUsq1
The more you tell someone to send go, the. Effer better to be what your wanting or is penis watch, watch, wahx, the.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:33AM by Stayhydrated3 https://ift.tt/3ACM45f
Modern automotive safety features like collision avoidance and automatic breaking would ruin a lot of action movie car chase scenes
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:34AM by AnDroopi https://ift.tt/3o6ttej
No one will believe the last Kiss tour is actually the last.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:50AM by EHWfedPres https://ift.tt/3AOFk44
If you go to bed with an irritated bottom chances are you will wake up with smelly fingers.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:31AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/2XHggh5
A new notebook weighs less than a written in one
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:40AM by IronTemplar26 https://ift.tt/39uThZ4
Idiots have higher fertility making non-idiots rare and scarce.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:41AM by Virial23 https://ift.tt/3zBtk4E
You gain a kilo if you drink a litre of water
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:42AM by 03pv https://ift.tt/3EM0277
2001: “It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove.” 2021: “It’s not what you know, & it’s not what you can prove.”
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:43AM by EricPro21 https://ift.tt/3lRR2VA
Guys who enjoy anal with girls are literally gay.
Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:49AM by whodidshit https://ift.tt/3CFENC9
If food can be recycled you may have eaten the same food twice.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:44AM by Collin120423 https://ift.tt/2XQ7bTs
Cheese is a Loaf of milk
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:45AM by Apprehensive-Ebb7647 https://ift.tt/2XCq4sw
From the foreground of a day at the beach, to a hikers view of a mountain range, somehow pictures of our feet became a thing.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:45AM by redone67 https://ift.tt/2W9CmIE
the hot worter system is failing
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:46AM by Hidden2266 https://ift.tt/3hY5Bpu
stinky woman farts smell when women break wind and pass gas
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:49AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3hYziXz
The new king trend
Guys starting to hype eachother up on social media the way girls do is mad wholesome and honestly can make my day sometimes. Keep it class kings
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:36AM by -Mainlanders https://ift.tt/3i0mtMl
When you think about the organ inside your skull...
the actual biology of it...it’s form and function...when you think about that, the brain is contemplating itself.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:46AM by jamie_maxx https://ift.tt/3Aue4rD
With all the human anatomy knowledge that Leonardo da Vinci had, he could've probably been a bodybuilder
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:47AM by brunopachecoliver https://ift.tt/3u5bB4z
Rule-breaking rules when the rulers ruling the rules rule the wrong rules into ruling what rules
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:47AM by DarkWarrior0137 https://ift.tt/2W1LO0q
Humans often pride themselves in being fluent in more than one language, yet dogs can understand other breeds of dogs, can quickly learn to understand other species of animals, and learn human languages.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:49AM by aedynsmom https://ift.tt/3CHKwrj
You know every single phone number , you just don’t know who it belongs to.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:43AM by Af7575 https://ift.tt/2XKHJii
WW1 started because some guy took a wrong turn
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:45AM by calvins48 https://ift.tt/3EGYJ9C
Torino's pizza rolls are considered top tier but their frozen pizza is considered low tier.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:46AM by AmityvilleDoraTheExp https://ift.tt/3lOh7Vw
Totino's pizza rolls are top tier for pizza rolls but their pizza is bottom tier for frozen pizza.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:49AM by AmityvilleDoraTheExp https://ift.tt/3AMX3Jz
The biggest resistance for returning to work from office is not being able to wear shorts
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:50AM by Interesting_Plum_805 https://ift.tt/3CtRRKW
When playing "catch", we are throwing just as often as we are catching
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:34AM by Antscannabis https://ift.tt/3EH8ogu
The more a person yearns and desires you, the more shit they will put up with.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:40AM by Raven-Would https://ift.tt/3kxpfKL
If you eat too many Ringpops you won't be able to wear them anymore
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:41AM by bloodraged189 https://ift.tt/2XNGej6
Saying something tastes like shit implies you have tasted shit
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:47AM by CumHamburger https://ift.tt/3u1sZXZ
As technology advances, the Robot Dance is going to look less and less like actual robots.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:49AM by degrudv https://ift.tt/3nSZczE
Having lots of salt makes you crave water, but not the other way around.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 03:47AM by Flikuh https://ift.tt/3krO5vp
Having birthday sex is you celebrating your parents having sex.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 03:49AM by Lexicorint https://ift.tt/39og9t5
If a human likes anthropomorphic animals, that makes them a furry. If an animal likes zoomorphic humans, that would also make them a furry.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:40AM by SoupGod228 https://ift.tt/3krHjpt
Life was much simpler and more fun before the internet.
Kids playing in the street or riding their bicycle from here to there with no adult in sight, homes left unlocked all the time, board games and cards was a fun Friday night, people not trying to keep up with the Jone’s like now, families together for high school football games without having to compete on social media for likes, teens actually being able to have conversation and look people in the eyes while speaking, going out to eat to a restaurant and having real conversations without worrying about a phone. It’s rather depressing as I sit on my phone typing this. /s
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:44AM by californacation7 https://ift.tt/3CxxLzp
“Men will be men” unless they are transexual, then women will be men
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:45AM by NaSinRao https://ift.tt/3zylJno
Forest Gump taught Elvis how to dance on stage
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:46AM by thatdilf https://ift.tt/39qOI28
Priests have the biggest loads in all of human race
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:47AM by Raaddus https://ift.tt/2VZsa5g
Hypnotist entertainers only have to be good enough to convince the audience the show was incredible.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:47AM by SolomonGilbert https://ift.tt/2XFfz7C
The only way to win the game is to not know you're playing.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:40AM by Justkill43 https://ift.tt/39wVOln
There is always someone, somewhere having a poo. Therefore as a collective we are continuously pooing
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:44AM by linfudd https://ift.tt/3ucMrRL
More posts get removed here than getting posted because they break the rules.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:46AM by whodidshit https://ift.tt/2ZepIZT
You have probably randomly popped in to someones mind while they were masturbating.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:48AM by MrChedar https://ift.tt/3krOZI7
You are legally not allowed to be Christian and be smug enough to say "You should always question things, Especially authority"
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:50AM by llThat1Guyll https://ift.tt/3Cy51qb
Trees are the only living thing where the younger they are the more comfortable we are with killing them.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:28AM by justmikewilldo https://ift.tt/3nRZQ07
History Books are the bookmarks our ancestors left when they browsed earth.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:32AM by sakib008 https://ift.tt/3CyGrpk
The old you is your younger self.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:33AM by Sic-Parvis-Magna https://ift.tt/2XLZo9c
Animals in the wild basically live in a horror movie
Werewolves, Vampires, Zombies are as threatening to us as a Lion or a pack of hyenas are to a zebra for example.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:35AM by _Yunk_Vino_13 https://ift.tt/3CEg4OR
Chemistry is dangerous as fuck
And it will make you do some stuuuuuuupid ass shit and you have no idea why but ya gotta lol.
Anyone relate?
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:40AM by Secret-Pension-9641 https://ift.tt/3tXpTUV
If it weren't for the dishonesty of humans, wars could be completely fought and won with nothing more than a giant game of paintball/airsoft.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:45AM by WolfieVonD https://ift.tt/3nVpK36
If you enjoy life a lot, you make everyone around you enjoy life too.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:46AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/2VXCHxM
Earlier in his career Sir Richard Attenborough would have been thought of as the more famous of the brothers.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:42AM by TheWeeDrammer https://ift.tt/3kp4ocg
Seat belts are enforced for cars, while motorbikers go free riding a riskier vehicle
If law is concerned with the safety of the driver, how come same logic doesn't apply for motorbikers?
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:43AM by Ahmatt https://ift.tt/3hSW6HX
Most people’s biggest accomplishment is owning an asset of some sort
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:46AM by phantomofthej https://ift.tt/2ZalZfP
When You Get The Itch To Try Beating The Odds, Be Sure You Can Survive The Likelihood Of The Odds Beating You.
Because, reality.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:50AM by dilligaf0220 https://ift.tt/2XyKmTC
Nowadays, people think it’s cool to use wired earbuds
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:36AM by Absolutely__Free https://ift.tt/3u9ACf7
If you try to swap brains with someone, you'll actually end up swapping bodies.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:37AM by theflyingpingu https://ift.tt/2ZkVYuF
The entire contents of the Library of Alexandria could probably fit onto a low-capacity SD card.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:44AM by fenriswolf_411 https://ift.tt/2XwVmRJ
Best thing about chilling your beers in the freezer and it is slightly slushy, you know you're not losing any alcohol.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:46AM by -iamai- https://ift.tt/3lKVm8W
“Work/life balance” is actually a luxury that young upper middle class people complain about when they feel like they don’t have it.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:49AM by shabbos_roller https://ift.tt/3zrZ9gb
Almost every competitive chess match in a resignation or a draw
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:19AM by Environmental-Nail22 https://ift.tt/2XD2iNe
Humans are kinda like the universe
the blood cells are the asteroids, comets, etc.
the organs are the planets
the heart is the sun
and the brain is the moon (for every planet)
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:23AM by KingZeikoOfRomania https://ift.tt/3ArqnVv
One of the saddest parts of growing up is not having foods you enjoyed when you were younger because of changing tastes (or cooking abilities) within your household.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:32AM by schuey_08 https://ift.tt/39niCnW
WW1 happened because a dude from Austria got shot. WW2 happened because a dude from Austria didn't get shot.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:37AM by n-x https://ift.tt/2ZkIMG9
some women get bad smelling farts regardless of how hot they are
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:39AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/39lSrxA
Money smells like a roller skating rink
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:39AM by Vordimous https://ift.tt/3lFELTX
Knowing that "knowledge is power" implies you already have some power.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:45AM by chizass https://ift.tt/3EySVil
Hoping for something is the same as worrying it won’t happen, a major cause of suffering.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:46AM by KhaleesiDog https://ift.tt/3zleyPu
We are probably the most beautiful generations of humans if we assume that attractive people tend to pass on their genes more.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:47AM by jjdoubleA https://ift.tt/3ECWwfu
All fictional characters are based on real humans.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:47AM by bandwarmelection https://ift.tt/3AtJy0T
Some dogs bark uncontrollably, because they can understand us, so they *think* we can understand them
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:49AM by salladfingers https://ift.tt/3ko1B39
Humans are colonizing other planets just to destroy them too… We could destroy the whole Universe
Edit: Ignore the last sentence lmaooo
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:43AM by okayokayokay9reddit https://ift.tt/3hMV4xf
You can access the console on PC games, but you can't access the console on console.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by Shtonee https://ift.tt/2XDgBkY
The people in charge of naming stuff did a really good job. The person who came up with “grubby” knew what they were doing.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by lonkbonk_ https://ift.tt/3EIigqr
Men can never jinx themselves because they always have wood to knock on
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by KuriKoer517 https://ift.tt/2XJYABw
The easyer it is to be original,the harder it is to be original
Hits blunt
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:46AM by pixelcore332 https://ift.tt/3nOJKEs
Fully colour blind people can't confirm if blue is actually blue, etc.
Sounded better in my head.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by AndreyProduct https://ift.tt/2XtUHAu
A PC has a microprocessor; the human using an abacus is a macroprocessor.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by real_smoky https://ift.tt/3zmKi6L
Icy Hot works on all of your skin except your palms
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by smithjohnsonian1 https://ift.tt/3EyK0xp
People that choose not to have kids are single-handedly ending thousands and thousands of years of a genetic lineage
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:47AM by 45_tubs_of_guts https://ift.tt/3lHMYa7
If one guy in a MFM threesome is banging the girl from behind and she is sucking the other guy more enthusiastically because it feels good, then technically the first guy is pleasuring the second guy
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:48AM by TheManWhoDelivers https://ift.tt/3lBZKY0
The wrong people are dying.
As of late, the grim reaper could make much better choices.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:42AM by itallica https://ift.tt/3o2ijYf
You're gonna eat 8 spiders in your sleep during your lifetime and some of them are gonna be pregnant.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:43AM by ChittyBangBang335 https://ift.tt/3nOz34Q
All pit bulls look scary
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:44AM by elente1 https://ift.tt/2Zemkyf
bees love flowers, so if you ever give a woman flowers, and she accepts, she is actually a bunch of bees in a costume, run away
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:45AM by Mr_No741 https://ift.tt/3nNrTxL
Every minute, someone in the world has an orgasm.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:46AM by ArrynMythey https://ift.tt/3nIuCIW
Midnight is always tomorrow.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:38AM by PrincessDoubleBubble https://ift.tt/2Xy1IRe
Those who still choose to smoke cigarettes must be psychologically impaired.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:40AM by dr--moreau https://ift.tt/3EB1hpC
Ice cubes are rarely cubes
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:48AM by NautySquid https://ift.tt/2Zehl0v
Cool Idea for a Vehicle: A Quadcopter with a Blimp in the Middle
Blimp would make it neurally buoyant and the four rotors would give it speed.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:49AM by GameShill https://ift.tt/2VXCPNY
bl bLBlsdj JSDKFjfhjd hjhfkjdshhfas
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:49AM by Mr_No741 https://ift.tt/3EywtWv
One plus of humans evolving to love giving and receiving oral is that is keeps society’s genitals cleaner on the whole.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:39AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/2VQsuTO
The Most Luckiest Human and the Most Unluckiest Human are probably the same person
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:40AM by ThakkaduAndAnatidae https://ift.tt/3AoTbOC
Tomboys are the opposite of femboys.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:41AM by SirFixalot1116 https://ift.tt/2Xumel0
Somewhere out there, someone will have been issued the pin number " 1 2 3 4" by their bank
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:44AM by Kunxion https://ift.tt/3lBj9s2
Talking to yourself so that you can achieve what you deeply wish actually opens your mind for future opportunities to achieve the wish faster
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:46AM by OletArvokasTollasena https://ift.tt/3tRnPh2
It's socially acceptable to wear shorts during winter but less socially acceptable to wear a hoodie during summer.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:37AM by guilcol https://ift.tt/3tU1P4Z
There is probably some major world event that happened while you were masturbating.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:40AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/3CokFo3
We Would Freak Ourselves Out ---
If we were another species and saw a documentary on how we humans go through conception, gestation, and birth - we would be their horror films.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:41AM by Positive-Squirrel121 https://ift.tt/3CsFeQq
Many people hate their lives, but biological and social pressures keep them from ending it.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:48AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/3EG7Wzd
Loneliness really hit different on school trips
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:50AM by ehfre https://ift.tt/3lG59Nu
When you get an erection you are technically shapeshifting
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:37AM by Fufa_G https://ift.tt/2VSEgx7
If colors are perceived by light reflection and seen differently through a variety of species, then the colors we know aren't actually the colors we think they are
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:44AM by Comprehensive_Math17 https://ift.tt/2XtwjyK
We know how almost everything we see and touch tastes like, even though we have no previous memory of tasting those textures.
Like grass, keyboards or the floor. (not for edibles though)
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:44AM by IdentifiesAsAnOnion https://ift.tt/3AmJKiD
People talk about how great and important literature is but given the opportunity Homer would have made a movie.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:46AM by zqxop https://ift.tt/2XB44OY
A good rumor in the 90s would have been, “the more water you drink the higher you get.”
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:48AM by Billy_T_Wierd https://ift.tt/3AucTbS
A room is full when it still has empty space in it
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:27AM by orthros_77 https://ift.tt/2YZy73d
mastery is not possible. the moment you think you have, it's already evolved into some other level.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:30AM by kcsporttoo https://ift.tt/3hGtqSz
When we are all gone, future generations will eventually uncover everything about our lives both good and bad.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:33AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/2Z5guPz
Tattoos have become more of a symbol of conformity than rebellion
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:46AM by sine_labore_nihil https://ift.tt/3hJrZTg
Surely Polaroid would sell more pictures if they made them bigger...
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:47AM by kingchowww https://ift.tt/3lvHNu0
Our lives are only as long as our next breath. Heard it last week and still thinking about it. Hits differently when baked.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:41AM by keatonwick https://ift.tt/2XC9BF5
The hearse: A limousine for the newly dead.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:42AM by Strange_Fruit_007 https://ift.tt/3lCYYtK
The more kinkier you get with the type of meat, the more exotic it's considered
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:44AM by Cinoreus https://ift.tt/3Cr41Eu
Unbeknownst to somebody simply doing their job, they are ruining the life of someone else.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:45AM by sailboatwallpaper https://ift.tt/3CsKMKH
Most milk brands follow a similar color scheme for the caps of their different fat percent milks.
How did they manage to do that? It’s so convenient.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:48AM by xdaemonisx https://ift.tt/3tQkfDL
Usually you drink from the top, but with a straw you drink from the bottom.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:37AM by n3rv0u5 https://ift.tt/3Ev2Aqb
Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:38AM by AuthenticAsher https://ift.tt/39jbt86
Everyone reaches a point where they will never meet another new person...
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:41AM by ph30nix01 https://ift.tt/3lAiarW
Everyone has a tattoo of the invisible boat mobile
MamamaMAmamamamama
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:45AM by proceeds_theweedian https://ift.tt/3nKWNqw
If you transition and become recognised as female a few years before the male retirement age, does your retirement age change to that of a woman
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:49AM by NoWest7670 https://ift.tt/2VP8f91
If someone took your phone and texted someone something stupid or posted something embarrassing on your social media feed no-one would ever believe you.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:34AM by mBub1e https://ift.tt/3zizGpl
It is a bad mistake nutritional classes in elementary school portray cheese as healthy.
Most cheeses that are delicious are often too high in calories and maybe saturated and especially the terrible trans fat to be considered healthy.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:35AM by Super_ACF https://ift.tt/3lykf7P
It says a lot about school if kids would rather steal from one than sit through a single class.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:43AM by ral365 https://ift.tt/3AgVdjH
We are all dying.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:45AM by OB1KENOB https://ift.tt/3nOeXHZ
There's no real reason why northern has to be drawn as upwards on maps, we just unanimously agreed north was up and south was down, even though there is no up nor down in space.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:45AM by SimonidesFabiano https://ift.tt/3tYehRy
Wearing Lycra is a privilege
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:40AM by jrumley911 https://ift.tt/3Eu0MO5
People who confidently talk about the Dunning-Kruger effect are probably under the Dunning-Kruger effect about the Dunning-Kruger effect.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:42AM by AJEstes https://ift.tt/39dtwMS
It’s a pity when men gain weight none of it goes to their dicks
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:43AM by JonTop97 https://ift.tt/3nGvcXH
Poetry is the abstract art of the writing world
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:47AM by mtdunca https://ift.tt/39fKxWu
Divorce rates are so high, because people only started marrying for love in the last 100 years. It's a relatively new concept .
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:48AM by LufiasThrowaway https://ift.tt/3nJhkM5
Our taxes pay to settle lawsuits on police officer's crimes, whose salaries are paid for by our taxes to protect us from crimes.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:20AM by intrepidated https://ift.tt/39dhzqp
From a dog’s perspective humans are barking at each other all day
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:21AM by the_owningexpert2 https://ift.tt/3kez2VO
Handicapped people are hardcore crips
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:22AM by CrikeyKillz https://ift.tt/3lwYGEz
It’s weird that smelly shit comes out of our ass and no one is trying to find a solution.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:24AM by stailbreadwastaken https://ift.tt/2XBqShz
Living an ethical and moral life because a holy book says so isn't the same as living an ethical and moral life because it's innate within you to do so
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:29AM by T3knikal95 https://ift.tt/3tUa01l
Wearing a suit gives you instant social status
Even if it's only for the time you wear the suit
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:30AM by qweter1006 https://ift.tt/3CngzMK
Dictionaries could be so much shorter if they used pictures
Because a picture is worth a thousand words
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:32AM by qweter1006 https://ift.tt/3AhEf4L
Saying "I couldn't care less" is a fallacy, as if you completely didn't care about something at all you wouldn't think about it or comment on it
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:33AM by allthekos https://ift.tt/3AiNOQW
Nobody must have ever heard more gossip than priests in the confessional
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:33AM by bjorn4r https://ift.tt/3lANg2L
Almost all straight men have masturbated while watching an erect male penis.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:24AM by VeryLazyLewis https://ift.tt/2Xtq5z6
QR codes are technically a type of optical storage media... putting them in the same category as CDs and DVDs.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:24AM by xe3to https://ift.tt/3nEoHEE
Keys on someone’s belt, are the modern day spurs from the old west.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:28AM by BroHanzo https://ift.tt/3AiHCZc
Bow legged people get a constant stream of fresh air to their private parts.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:28AM by FaxTimeMachine https://ift.tt/3Cb9YVQ
There are a lot of people that did something wrong and never got the consequences.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:31AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/39bpbK7
if you have sex with a miner you both find things that are hard
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:32AM by Infamous5678 https://ift.tt/3nGj6O4
If men got to choose their penis size it would probably be too big to fit in most women's vagina comfortably.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:15AM by NothingElseBetter2do https://ift.tt/39awUYK
Frozen bodies at the top of Mt Everest may have second life when folks from future invent the technology.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:31AM by Bablofil https://ift.tt/3zie10K
Paul McCartney could never have anticipated that 50 years in the future an algorithm would play random songs from back side of Abbey Road out of order
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:33AM by Nice-Violinist-6395 https://ift.tt/3Ce5spm
Our universe might be simulated by intelligent dinosaur descendants who just wanted to see what would happen if they bonked the earth with an asteroid 65 million years ago.
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:33AM by RaunakA_ https://ift.tt/39c1BN4
It seems ironic that we root for the Doom guy to succeed when you consider where the majority of us will probably end up.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:12AM by smokeymctokerson https://ift.tt/3hDkEEH
A person who owns an egg farm is an Ovalord
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:16AM by lordwarriorpoet https://ift.tt/3ls4grU
If mosquitos use our blood to make their babies, then mosquitos technically rape us
I do not consent
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:17AM by InternComprehensive1 https://ift.tt/2VLjTSv
Woodstock probably were way more rapey than people remark
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:22AM by Maximum-Potential-41 https://ift.tt/2Z1fQCN
iPhones don't feel as prestigious as they once did
Back when I was in high school (mid 2000s) having an apple product was a luxury. When the iTouch and iPhone came out, it definitely felt special to own one. Even when I went to college in the early 2010s, it still carried that feeling of "prestige" when you had a iPhone. It doesn't feel that way anymore. I don't if it's due to becoming mainstream where most people own one or that Android phones are around the same price competitively.
Does anyone else feel this way about Apple products and specifically iPhone?
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:17AM by jaredkushnerisabutt https://ift.tt/2XppPAM
Wyoming is bigger than the UK, but the UK has 117x more population.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:24AM by -Ninety- https://ift.tt/2XsfbK9
Birds are born to fly, but some have to be scared of heights
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:26AM by OneMillionRegrets https://ift.tt/3EghVuN
Your twenties is when many of your friends get married. Your thirties is when your friends get divorced . . .
Your forties is when all of your friends’ dogs start dying.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:29AM by CMoy1980 https://ift.tt/3tHPKji
Comic sans is the mullet of fonts.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:31AM by fruity-line_segment https://ift.tt/3Ek6HVX
Notification sounds on phones make us Pavlov’s dogs in a way.
One person could get a text in a crowded area and everyone will just look, it’s kinda scary
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:25AM by RasheenHyuga https://ift.tt/2Xqzesc
The air we breath is made for Neon, Oxygen, and Nitrogen, if you put them together, they spell "NeON"
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by AzureTheSeawing https://ift.tt/39aPXCs
School, high-school etc’s experience is only as good as the people you study alongside with.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by nicolRB https://ift.tt/3lweBmw
If Zombies ever exist, there is a high chance that you will encounter a naked zombie on a weekly basis.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by Kyro_Sol https://ift.tt/3nCFo3a
People who operate the video and audio in theaters get paid to watch movies
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:28AM by xxiputxsinmynamexx https://ift.tt/3Ewidhl
Chefs, sous chefs and prep cooks toss more salad than the average porn star
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:16AM by occasionaldrinker https://ift.tt/2Z2lHYv
“Take care!” is the opposite of “Take it easy!”, yet we use them interchangeably
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:18AM by optimus314159 https://ift.tt/39beMy0
We get angry when people cheat on us but animals are fine with it
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:21AM by Sandeep_Joestar https://ift.tt/2YPIgiT
Much like in video games, most of Earth's more hidden/obscure lore are in books you have to go out of your way to find
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:22AM by AlolaSnorlax https://ift.tt/2XlafH3
As long as they can write each human has their own font which is unique to them.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:22AM by clout0777 https://ift.tt/3nykwdD
King Klong, the fat baboon man with sexy girlfriend ‘Janet’, he climbed the Empire State and waved at some biplanes. What have you done with your life, huh
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:25AM by nickp1999 https://ift.tt/3z8ACNa
Sword doesn't rhyme with word.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:05AM by OriginalCpiderman https://ift.tt/3zbpzTi
“Headphones” is kind of a misnomer. They’re actually just head-speakers in most case.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:06AM by ScarletRedReader https://ift.tt/3k8CpNZ
Norm Macdonald bought the farm
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:11AM by Montanabioguy https://ift.tt/3Ehjpom
A divination halfling with a criminal background is a small medium at large
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:11AM by Odin-LordOfTheDisco https://ift.tt/39829DK
A fish living in a small lake, probably feel the same as a human living in a small island in the middle of the sea
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:20AM by rmmf05 https://ift.tt/3CblIrh
Norm McDonald often made jokes about cancer while secretly dying from it unbeknownst to the audience.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:05AM by Airsinner https://ift.tt/2Xkxdh7
Since slowing down is a form of acceleration, and you have to hold down the gas to maintain a constant speed in your vehicle, you have to press the accelerator in order to not accelerate.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:15AM by CourageKitten https://ift.tt/3hyalBL
Owning an NFT is a right to pretend to own something that nobody else can pretend to own.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:21AM by braingemz https://ift.tt/399ytWN
poopy butt head lol
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:23AM by Mr_Yes741 https://ift.tt/2XnqJy8
Really good design is the art of removing the need for signs.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:24AM by AcidTrucks https://ift.tt/3zb48BV
For a movie that is generally considered a great love story, "Ghost" (1990) had some really scary special effects in the form of those dark spirits that dragged the bad guys to hell.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:06AM by harmonicpenguin https://ift.tt/2YX27gh
On average hair length is inversely proportional to age
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:09AM by xX4lph0ns3D5tr0y3RXx https://ift.tt/2Xf9nmM
Elementary school proposal and weddings
I am still technically engaged to multiple people form elementary school
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:16AM by Proof-Luck2392 https://ift.tt/2XtAL0J
The scale of infinity in our imagination often reflects how old or wise we are.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:17AM by senju_bandit https://ift.tt/3lmbD45
Almost 25 years since “a Night at the Roxbury” and 45 since Grandmaster Flash, there’s ever more seniors jammin’ to hip hop, electronic club music, etc.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:24AM by IronyElSupremo https://ift.tt/3Ei50bv
Lexus can be pluralized as Lexus' and Lexī.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:25AM by AutumnAscending https://ift.tt/2YWkKku
You can't hmm if you pinch your nose shut
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:25AM by J_mo0d https://ift.tt/3zaq28u
The national Pokedex is likely ordered differently for each region
I assume that as Pokemon are gradually discovered in the story, each region at firsts the Pokemon in their region are the only ones exist, before all the professors notified each other and decided to build a National Dex. But since the national one always starts with the Kanto monsters, it’s possible that in each region, their one comes first. You’re just getting the Kanto one each time, which is gradually updated
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:29AM by TT454 https://ift.tt/3tGiYz3
If you're known for your pokerface, then you've a terrible one
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:31AM by yubioh https://ift.tt/3tGnm0W
Terrestrial Birds are the least conflicted about where they want to be….All other birds are always going up or down.
……I’d rather be well ground.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:34AM by TreesRco_olNtheDark https://ift.tt/3nytTdo
People who normally speak in the third person probably have difficulty acting as a character that is named differently than they are.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:24AM by RenegadeRising https://ift.tt/3tBIcPj
Any type of Vanilla food implies that there is a kink or fetish version of that food. E.g. Vanilla ice cream and kinky ice cream...
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:25AM by MnrRooikat https://ift.tt/3loMs0E
When you're little they tell you that sex jokes are for adults and when you're an adult they tell you that sex jokes are childish.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:32AM by MasterStardust https://ift.tt/3tEwOSG
Eating is foreplay for scat fetishists
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:35AM by Chickeney https://ift.tt/3Ag46u0
The human body and the earth both consist of about 70% undrinkable water
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:21AM by surfingjesus https://ift.tt/3nvQdE7
If we humans could lick our own taints we would.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:21AM by MrTyl3nol https://ift.tt/3EbrNWy
we can't achieve AI because when we do we become it and it starts over
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:22AM by canbii https://ift.tt/3A8Nm7T
Every pot has a lid. And even if you can’t find one, you can always use some pan
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:22AM by mr_no_it_alll https://ift.tt/3hpgPmD
The only good zombie is a dead zombie.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:33AM by blutbad_buddy https://ift.tt/3C8yLdc
People have phone syndrome
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:22AM by ALeadKeyhole https://ift.tt/3linSPe
Your IQ is locked behind a paywall
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:25AM by Zeusproject96 https://ift.tt/3EelDot
While other emotions motivate people to reform their surroundings, the emotion of love transforms people themselves.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:26AM by JellyfishLow https://ift.tt/2VCXzu6
The French people collectively decided to put as many consonants as possible into every word and then not pronounce any of them.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:28AM by 1000Huzzahs https://ift.tt/2XhsigV
apps shake when you press and hold them because they're scared they're going to get deleted
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:31AM by iiglxtchii https://ift.tt/2XmevG7
If humans were as small as ants, instead of exploring space, we would explore treetops.
DIG me?
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:15AM by Kamran_Santiago https://ift.tt/3EdVVkg
The sky daddy is winning the longest, ever, game of hide and go seek.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:17AM by Judear https://ift.tt/3loxvLY
"impregnation fetish" is an oxymoron
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:22AM by RealLifeDad81 https://ift.tt/3AagsUm
The cure for being a zombie.. Could just be eating vegetables.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:29AM by DaHedgehog27 https://ift.tt/3z7uEfA
We have to really trust dishwashers at restaurants to be good at what they do, considering how many people put their utensils in their mouths.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:30AM by petey_wheatstraw_99 https://ift.tt/2XpOVzX
Flies are so cocky. Always landing on the giant thing that wants to kill them just because they can.
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:31AM by trimdaddyflex https://ift.tt/3z7Thsq
Some people literally have more trust with their lives for the carnies putting rides together at a pop-up carnival, than they do for the people who studied for years and years.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:15AM by PM_UR__BUBBLE_BUTTS https://ift.tt/3z13eYt
Bragging about your self-awareness is a surefire way to show that you have none.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:19AM by manic_lethargy https://ift.tt/2Xn8I2W
People who go on spiritual journeys tend to become more narcissistic, not better people
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:23AM by Tking179 https://ift.tt/3tEGDQr
If bats had houses they’d probably use speakers instead of lights to see
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:24AM by An_Epic_Pancake https://ift.tt/2XcWQ36
We have no idea what an antarctican accent is.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:26AM by ImaginationOk9328 https://ift.tt/2YF7EI3
Your car is a portable speaker.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:25AM by tdun56 https://ift.tt/3lzdjHJ
Children in school are taught double standards as soon as they get two teachers who have opposite rules on something, even more so if they have them in the same year
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:29AM by HadACivilDebateOnlin https://ift.tt/3Ck3LXR
Dogs must wonder why their owners keep collecting their poo and what they are using it for.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:36AM by Waxfadge https://ift.tt/3Edcs7O
It would make more sense to play Monopoly where everyone is a different type of car. Imagine the invisible citizens on the Monopoly property seeing a cat, thimble, tophat, and duck running their property.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:38AM by Suitable_Aioli213 https://ift.tt/3k31nhx
Grilled Cheese + Tomato Soup = Pizza
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:45AM by theprettynoodles https://ift.tt/3nsz9z8
If you are a shapeshifter and you shapeshift, but don't change your voice, You would sound weird. But if you don't shapeshift, but can change your voice, people would think you have an incredible talent.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:32AM by shapeshifterotaku https://ift.tt/2Xl5Nbd
A mechanical keyboard is one of the few electronics that the older it gets, the better it gets.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by Silverfox1921 https://ift.tt/3C3IDoh
Candyman movie is false advertising... There wasn't a single piece of candy in the whole thing.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by shwarma_heaven https://ift.tt/2YK196N
Pumpkin Spice is gross.
In my opinion…
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by pigthepuggle https://ift.tt/3k6VpfU
Light speed is actually super slow. If we ever inhabit the next closest star, Alpha Centauri, even with light-speed communication it would take ~8.5 years just to send and receive a message there from Earth.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:42AM by PM_UR__BUBBLE_BUTTS https://ift.tt/2Xb3M1l
Thousands of people have been molested while under anesthesia but have no idea
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:23AM by saladenjoyer0 https://ift.tt/3lf3q1D
Getting seriously injured in a soccer match must suck, because no one will believe you.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:27AM by VexuBenny https://ift.tt/2Xdafc6
Umm is most likely the most used word in the English language
Um I think that’s right.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:29AM by deeterman https://ift.tt/3ljM0Rf
The fact that phones are frequently free or majorly discounted shows how much carriers are screwing us on monthly service costs.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:30AM by kitch5 https://ift.tt/3lf3n5X
Some people sneeze right at your face and then place a hand on their nose.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:31AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/2XdanIC
Internet allows smart people to get smarter and stupid people to get even stupider
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:21AM by OmiNya https://ift.tt/3lf2Lx8
Mr. Krabs doesn't get money for himself, he gets money to spend on Pearl so she can have what she wants.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:21AM by GreatestBagel https://ift.tt/3npZRbI
Most of the people in north korea have never seen a black person.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:23AM by dogofwars https://ift.tt/3ldo4ze
Everyone is ambidextrous when it comes to trimming your finger nails.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:23AM by Handeatingcat https://ift.tt/3z8cDxw
The last message from a loved one, can easily be the very last message you see from them
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:24AM by ToucanSpaceman https://ift.tt/3E8ruf0
For being one of the most famous cafés you never see a Starbucks add
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:17AM by RandomHuman512 https://ift.tt/3C65ZtM
showing someone your neck shows that you trust the other person
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:24AM by hodnydylko https://ift.tt/3901sws
We charge our phone once or twice a day, but we never complain about eating at least three meals per day to function, and working most of our lives to achieve it
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:24AM by CherryAntAttack https://ift.tt/3tyWXSJ
The opposite of Wet dreams are hot nightmares
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:32AM by Your_friendly_weirdo https://ift.tt/2YEuMq8
The funniest pun ever made is most definetely not applicable in your language.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:33AM by shnuggelster https://ift.tt/3tGUrKs
Psychics that’s don’t accept walk-in appointments aren’t real psychics. They’d be expecting them.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:26AM by droppingbasses https://ift.tt/3EcTQ8e
If you plant cotton, not only do you get to reap what you sow but you also get to sew what you reap.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:27AM by ThanksAanderton https://ift.tt/3z5lr7t
Bringing the most bad in the past is a bratwurst.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:28AM by Gary_October https://ift.tt/3twxvgS
When an expert gives you good advice pertaining to their specialized field, it’s seen as wholesome and caring. When an equally qualified artist offers constructive criticism, they are a snob.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:29AM by dpforest https://ift.tt/3E9WTxB
As you go through the vowels in alphabetical order (a,e,i,o,u) to fill in f_ck, it sounds closer to the actual word.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:29AM by ALPHABOGDOG https://ift.tt/3hrpjcK
A Deaf Horse Is Borderline Useless
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 11:59PM by Ollyrock https://ift.tt/3hpbQ5o
Dogs think elevators are instant teleportation devices
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:00AM by Potato_Salad_PS https://ift.tt/3z7X2hs
If more people were aware that Bolognese is also dog breed, any pasta with Bolognese sauce wouldn’t sell very well
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:04AM by fergi20020 https://ift.tt/3hpbVWK
There’s probably a version of someone’s hell that is watching someone they hated’s life flash before their eyes over and over.
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:11AM by anatomyofawriter https://ift.tt/2XedtLK
There is no prediction without data
Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:13AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/3BXRgkc
It's mental that we still think we are in control of the machines but when we recieve notifications, we are very obedient.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:17AM by p14ate https://ift.tt/3tz6WHD
By definition, a carnivorous pitcher plant is a thirst trap.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:20AM by tintooth66 https://ift.tt/3tuDzq2
Animals life is same as our like we work hard for good future and comfortable life animals good life is equal to getting adopted by rich family so they work hard to get noticed by a rich family
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:21AM by _itsmagic https://ift.tt/3nuFZDY
Thinking you're going to change your life after your shower, but you end up not doing anything at all....
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:24AM by Kaylboo https://ift.tt/2X7whfZ
People with bad grades from the start of their schooling live better lives as no one really expects anything from them.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:12AM by JellyfishLow https://ift.tt/2X6y7hz
Earplugs look like buttplugs
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:16AM by MicrowaveKing456 https://ift.tt/2Vyd5HN
The CIA probably uses intense tickling as an interrogation technique
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:20AM by pixeltater https://ift.tt/2VxxXid
The usual try history to post here is more embarrassing than the usual browser history
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:29AM by Nedpet https://ift.tt/3E6WZ9r
The parking setting on a car is cruise control but for stopping.
Like if you don’t put the car in park it still moves forward so you have to the press the pedal. Like cruise control in which your foot isn’t on the petal for your car to drive.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:33AM by IfANoseKnows https://ift.tt/3C150ei
Great is probably the most sarcastic word ever..
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:25AM by saiyaniam https://ift.tt/3tEMcP2
The word positive has a negative connotation for the past year and a half
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:25AM by the_seed https://ift.tt/3jZlFsk
Smart phones will cause human necks to evolve to be curved for easier viewing.
*If the earth survives long enough for it to happen
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:29AM by whookid1209 https://ift.tt/3yYRnKx
A lot of people think it's noble to die for what you believe unless it actually came down to actually doing just that.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:30AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/3lchh8W
Cells and bacteria are micro-organisms living in us. Animals, plants and humans are micro-organisms living in earth. Earth is a micro-organism living in space.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:33AM by D45ers https://ift.tt/2XaB005
After the first slice of cake, you only need to put in half as much work to get every slice afterwards
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:24AM by Banres https://ift.tt/3E7uKY7
Gangsta rap is homicidal. Mumble rap is suicidal.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:25AM by Faceless-Pronoun https://ift.tt/3hk3s6Y
Other people want you to succeed until it makes them look/feel bad
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:26AM by yeezymeister52 https://ift.tt/2VvykK7
For most people, the hardest they will work on their house is when they are trying to get rid of it.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:29AM by AminesToAnEnd https://ift.tt/2XeZRjN
The underlying desire for men to have a big penis is actually not to pleasure women, but to recreate the visuals of porn.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:29AM by danneeooh https://ift.tt/3C3xHr4
Sometimes First aid is also Last aid.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:31AM by fedoras4furries https://ift.tt/3twGyhD
Amish people were probably surprised when they traveled into town one day and discovered everyone was wearing face coverings.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:22AM by wfezzari https://ift.tt/3ttHWl7
Someday we’ll have the scientific technology to grow human fetuses outside the womb, and the idea of going through pregnancy and childbirth to reproduce will seem medieval.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:24AM by whole_lot_of_velcro https://ift.tt/3hjsJOO
Technically, eyes are visible light antennas.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:25AM by iAmDoneTryingAnother https://ift.tt/3njdY2j
If cell phone footage of people acting stupid and losing their jobs has taught us anything, it's mind your own fucking business.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:27AM by bobbydigital_ftw https://ift.tt/3yZB00q
"with all due respect" is the professional sounding version of "no offence but . . ."
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:29AM by Soaring_Symphony https://ift.tt/3ttcYcU
Bingo the Story Dog
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:08AM by Beesonmann https://ift.tt/3hj1R1p
Dirty Back Road -- The B-52's (1980)
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:09AM by imagepoem https://ift.tt/3l7pPhf
If Joe Rogan could rap
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:12AM by amothgoesinto https://ift.tt/3yTXWxT
TV on the radio - Staring at the sun (2004)
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:30AM by lovinnow https://ift.tt/3C1zsoD
Marvel's Spider-Man 2 - PlayStation Showcase 2021 Trailer | PS5
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:41AM by GodzXPro https://ift.tt/3nkugrx
The reverse of pickpocketing is putpocketing.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:10AM by FiLo1313 https://ift.tt/38TDTVN
Since humans evolved from fish, who are carnivores, veganism goes against millions of years of evolution
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:12AM by MicrowaveKing456 https://ift.tt/3z0wjTQ
A plausible Wikipedia entry in the year 100K: "The 21st century was characterized by the activity of extracting fossil fuels and converting them to pornographic videos".
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:13AM by onlytruthwins https://ift.tt/3nk39gA
somewhere, a huge The Office fan is watching the show without realizing they are the Dwight of their workplace
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:18AM by Tyko_3 https://ift.tt/3C2P6QF
In movies, when there is high speed chases on the highway, there can be massive carnage with cars flipping and exploding, yet the ambient traffic never seems to stop of get backed up.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:21AM by chiroaz https://ift.tt/2X93l6Y
Vampires may find different blood types tastier than others.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:33AM by DocSocrates https://ift.tt/3hhBusP
Death begins at 40.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:37AM by phiggie https://ift.tt/38RKFv9
The entire world watched Truman jacked off or at least knew what porn he liked.
They 100% knew what kind of porn he watched. And people definitely wanted to make more of that kind of porn, just for him.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:38AM by Libra_Maelstrom https://ift.tt/3A12XpM
For rumors about genitalia to be true, it would require someone to confirm they actually saw the genitals.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:42AM by Outside_Wolf_1495 https://ift.tt/3yZlhOE
In all those movies and shows with space combat, someone could gain a significant advantage just by painting their ships black.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:42AM by nullstoned https://ift.tt/3hBNSnJ
Getting a police dog slightly addicted to narcotics might motivate it to work harder
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:09AM by Sl1ppin_Jimmy https://ift.tt/3to620O
If you replace the "W" in Where, What and When with "T", you've got your conclusion
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:18AM by Steak-Mann https://ift.tt/3zY359t
Your subconscious self-interests only serve the universe.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:25AM by HenDenDoe64 https://ift.tt/3DWuJ9o
Understanding kids could be better understood through an interpreter.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:27AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/2X2lLGC
Digital art will someday be on Antiques Road Show
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:28AM by rock_boffin https://ift.tt/3zRICmO
If the tag game takes long enough, it becomes hide and seek
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:51AM by AsterSkotos24 https://ift.tt/3hbU8lS
The average of anything does not exist, including humans.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:54AM by StephMujan https://ift.tt/3nebYZ6
The more we apologize the more ineffective it becomes.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:56AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3hf9fLn
Someone who "lives under a rock" might not be that out of the loop, because someone lifted the stone.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 02:04AM by yeetusdeletus_69 https://ift.tt/3lnezO3
Looking back wet dreams must be the most over-rated topic on sex ed.
Maybe it's just me I'm 32 I've never had a wet dream. Maybe some of you are spunk your PJ's every night if so I am jealous. But my sex ed in school seemed to overrate the idea that guys will be having wet dreams regularly. several of the reading materials were also synchronous in describing the awkward circumstances of being embarrassed with sticky bedsheets and mom finding out. Is this common globally or did I just get really shit sex ed.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 02:09AM by elfy4eva https://ift.tt/3yPtqW4
Being a pain in the ass can get you promoted
If we're sick of managing a coworker but aren't going to fire them then perhaps the next solution is to promote them to a spot where they have a different supervisor
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:06AM by OldAppleGuardian https://ift.tt/3hgQc3f
From each of our perspectives, we don’t walk on the ground. We rotate the earth to using our legs and feet to get wherever we want to go, at our location.
Like a juggler on his back turning a giant ball on his feet
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:13AM by NuclearAmoury https://ift.tt/3zWa5nv
The composition of matter and energy you consist of was caused by one thing that you are a part of.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:19AM by HenDenDoe64 https://ift.tt/3neiRJX
All your friends, cousins, aunts/uncle's, brothers/sisters that you love and care about will be excited to meet your kids but for your kids they'll just be random relatives they're forced to see every year. Just like your parents' are to you.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:20AM by BiguilitoZambunha https://ift.tt/3tsvh1L
If you know how to read at least one language, it is impossible to imagine what it's like to be illiterate.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:24AM by echo6golf https://ift.tt/3toDBjl
We really don't really realize how convenient everything is for us to actually exist.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:19AM by ScytheThrower https://ift.tt/3yUGr0y
Not all books are worth reading.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:22AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/38T4t1e
If you could move things with your mind, it would likely take more energy to do so than just walking across the room and picking it up.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:26AM by EasyPleasey https://ift.tt/3ySHzSb
We yell at drivers yet move out of the way for people.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:27AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3yULuhx
You can Rickroll people IRL if they have an open window and a smart speaker.
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:27AM by horse876 https://ift.tt/3DXUZjM
A tumor on your penis is cancer and reproductive harm.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:23AM by Dyl3700 https://ift.tt/2WXVytk
If humans didn't have a sense of smell or taste there would be a lot less overweight and obese people
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:24AM by dramakrispies https://ift.tt/3hbhJCY
Salmon is crazy.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:25AM by RedPilledCuckSlayer https://ift.tt/3nbqocp
All pieces of media with multiverses are technically interconnected
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:35AM by Strangermans https://ift.tt/3BPXvH0
If Nice Guys really finished last, then everyone would be dating them.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:36AM by oocoo_isle https://ift.tt/3zSr1LH
Cameron herrin case is more about the clash of the ideologies of tiktokers vs that of real humble people.. This generation is fukd up already
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:37AM by darelphilip https://ift.tt/38RjqB7
Buy to let landlords are just Scalpers, but they scalp homes.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:38AM by RedsonOfKyrypton https://ift.tt/3jRLxXe
its ironic that a day called "labour day" is a holiday alot of people get to use to do avoid labour and do nothing
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:41AM by chungmyong https://ift.tt/3DYLy3k
Shaking your foot or leg back and forth while sitting is perfectly fine, but doing the same with your hand or arm makes people think there's something wrong with you.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:21AM by Fritzo2162 https://ift.tt/3BPJvNn
Super strength also gives you super jump and superspeed, since those require leg strength
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:25AM by xXBLHGXx https://ift.tt/38Ut3yJ
You’ve celebrated New Years more times than you’ve celebrated you birthday.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:29AM by Altruistic-radish45 https://ift.tt/3zZmSFS
Everyone that has ever been born only lived in modern times.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by mackac2 https://ift.tt/3njchBM
When your game is lagging, your character blinks slower
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by kid335 https://ift.tt/3tjN8YU
The choice between blue pill and red pill is probably irrelevant as it's the glass of water that awakens one from The Matrix.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by lukavwolf https://ift.tt/3hdRk7w
women's farts smell worse than men because their farts have a higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:32AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3ncbL8I
Old Town Road will be fondly remembered as the 2010s answer to 2000s Rockstar
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:16AM by BigBlueMountainStar https://ift.tt/3jQSesn
A couple slices of pizza are a healthier breakfast than a bowl of cereal.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:18AM by ShundosAreCool https://ift.tt/3DSrPCy
You can't feel thar your anus is a hole and same with vaginas (propably)
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:21AM by abzurt_96 https://ift.tt/3jT6LDO
Because you haven’t died yet, you have no idea if you’re immortal or not.
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:22AM by freshredditer https://ift.tt/3A4MnoU
Clicking on an advertisement that annoys you can make the advertiser lose money
Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:30AM by Greakkan https://ift.tt/2X2gmQg
Movies based on real life events (such as Titanic) wouldn't be as impactful because people would've seen real clips on social media.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:24AM by tweakintweaker https://ift.tt/2Yz0t4g
There will be a last human to ever live, and he will just sit there with no one to talk to till he dies
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:26AM by Cheap-Owl-5338 https://ift.tt/3l5LM0i
Horse actors are so unappreciated.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:32AM by StAethe https://ift.tt/38JQbjo
It would've been actually very easy to know Spiderman's identity since the beginning if anyone just took one of the spiderwebs hanging off the buildings and made a DNA test
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:35AM by gibranferrer https://ift.tt/2VngcSM
When you die you won’t care because you’ll forget that you ever lived
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:18AM by _KittyKaya https://ift.tt/3tlCTTV
Most of the donuts you eat are purchased by someone else
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:22AM by yohananloukas116 https://ift.tt/2VkThHD
There’s a cutoff point where making kids do work goes from “chores” to “child labor”
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:26AM by Nice-Violinist-6395 https://ift.tt/3thSQdI
In real life, super heroes would all have a period before the fight to take put their keys, wallet and phone
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:27AM by Frants416 https://ift.tt/2YrAETv
There is no such thing as a single tong, just a pair of tongs just like there are only pairs of underwear.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:28AM by bacon-of-doom https://ift.tt/2WWl6GA
Marine animals are marinated all their lives swimming in salty soup.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:35AM by Vavous16 https://ift.tt/38N9ZT2
The most suppressed of all emotions is weeping.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:29AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3jQhWx2
Reading “The subtle art of not giving a fu*k” requires you to give a fu*k about how to not give a fu*k.
There’s no way you can learn to not give a fu*k. It has to come to you naturally.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:31AM by spacewhite https://ift.tt/3jLaTpE
Your parents probably hate to think of your sex life just as much you do about theirs
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:31AM by DaMightyWaffleMan https://ift.tt/38LB6hm
Motion is movement, brain sends electrical waves, as E-mail is an electronic mail, Emotions are electronic motion sent from the brain.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:32AM by Opel65 https://ift.tt/3DPrIro
Every catch is a “good catch.” If it was a bad catch then it wouldn’t be a catch at all.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:34AM by jdubsb09 https://ift.tt/3BJbrCz
If you're a cis man, there's probably a trans woman with a bigger dick than you
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:27AM by Thai-Reidj https://ift.tt/3yQVkAO
People born blind can't imagine colors, people born deaf can't think with their inner voice
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:28AM by sanylos https://ift.tt/3jMpctR
It's possible that ancient buildings could have made by another species, and the knowledge of human anatomy and human remains were from their studies, and they could have been cannibals, so they didn't leave a trace of their dead, or they had no bones that could fossilize
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:29AM by OrphansStoleMyKarma https://ift.tt/3zTnyfU
There have been people to be the last speakers of their language. Perhaps some only spoke that language, and were left alone with their thoughts until death :(
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:30AM by PassablyIgnorant https://ift.tt/38IM7QH