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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:43AM by 519FerretsInABox https://ift.tt/39Uyc...
Cotton candy was invented by a dentist
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:48AM by pink-flamingoo https://ift.tt/3AZVm...
Centaurs are technically insects
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 03:50AM by richardawkings https://ift.tt/3mfyW...
We are at the centre of the observable universe
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:31AM by linear_voyager https://ift.tt/3ioLa...
People aren’t afraid of death, they’re actually afraid of what happens afterwards.
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:33AM by Fanofeverything2003 https://ift.tt/2Yc5e...
Batman almost certainly uses dark mode on all of his apps
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:35AM by JamWat23 https://ift.tt/3zRzo...
While on your death bed, people will likely be either overly honest or lying straight to your face.
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:37AM by Drinking-Ducks https://ift.tt/39VeW...
Artists refer to people who can draw and sing/write songs, even though paintings/drawings and songs aren't the only forms of art
I mean, literally anything can be art (according to my teacher, at least), but still
And I guess it'd be weird if a lot of other people's professions are also called "artists"
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:39AM by SuperAlloyBerserker https://ift.tt/2Yc5a...
On the whole, humans are the cancer of nature.
On the whole, humans are the cancer of nature.
Submitted October 01, 2021 at 02:49AM by Piccolo_Bass https://ift.tt/2Y7HH...
You have survived every battle that you have been in
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:41AM by Eniga-ankan47 https://ift.tt/3AYgK...
Someone, somewhere has probably decided to get cosmetic surgery because of The Sims character creator graphics
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:45AM by megalyknight https://ift.tt/3omR7...
Slides will likely not be as fun on planets with lower gravity
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:47AM by QuikAttak https://ift.tt/39SLj...
As technology advances, we get closer to being able to play an actual quidditch game
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:49AM by JakeJ406 https://ift.tt/2ZNcs...
everything is technically limited edition
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 01:49AM by SHAT_MY_SHORTS https://ift.tt/3D2bc...
Dinosaurs existed for 165 million years. Human beings have existed for less than half a million years. That's a blink of an eye compared to the years they were alive. Crazy to think about.
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:31AM by 65redroses1 https://ift.tt/39UZg...
When farts smell terrible in showers due to the enclosed space and high humidity, they must be absolutely toxic in a sauna
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:32AM by KevtrOn_ https://ift.tt/2Wvnc...
an insignificant other is your hand
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:42AM by FapianoX https://ift.tt/3zWFJ...
Everyone was once the world’s youngest person but not everyone will be the world’s oldest person
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:44AM by capitalyze https://ift.tt/3F6RM...
Cordial is cheaper for people who like it weak.
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:48AM by Cleeth https://ift.tt/3A8wQ...
You have won every battle to the death youve been in
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Submitted October 01, 2021 at 12:49AM by Eniga-ankan47 https://ift.tt/3AZBG...
Everything humanity wants out of an AI, cats already get out of humanity.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:42AM by ItsKnope2016 https://ift.tt/3EXUN...
You never really realize just how powerful a human bite can be until you bite your tongue or cheek.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:42AM by JPH_RedFive https://ift.tt/2WrXp...
In 2021, movies apologize before you see them
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 03:48AM by setheb https://ift.tt/3F3Be...
Fat acceptance might be the only movement without any movement
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:34AM by Zaherili_Mardangi https://ift.tt/3ojMo...
You can instantly tell what class you are when you hear the word "fencing". If you think of someone putting up a fence you are working class, if you think of the sword fighting sport you are upperclass.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:35AM by Grazthespaz https://ift.tt/3D0J2...
If you were born just one year later you would have completely different friends growing up, making you a whole different person…
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:39AM by Nunqo https://ift.tt/2ZD4P...
Lava thinks it’s sooo hot, until it hits the ocean.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:45AM by glibgloby https://ift.tt/3F3vs...
Girls have secret groupchats where they send pictures of their boobs
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:46AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/2Wuuh...
Subtitled movies command your attention. No phone. No distractions.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 02:49AM by deathintelevision https://ift.tt/3ojm8...
Events like NASCAR are a type of Critical Race Theory
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:39AM by Rey_De_Los_Completos https://ift.tt/3ilto...
C-3PO is more related to the skywalker line than Rey
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:43AM by SusDino https://ift.tt/3AW25...
Elliot in mr. robot couldn't hack in 2021 anyone because of 2FA
You can no longer brute force pal!
Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:48AM by berke96x https://ift.tt/3ATB2...
Water is one of the only liquids that is naturally clear, but a lot of gasses are clear in nature
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:49AM by TheArcticHusky https://ift.tt/3AXBQ...
A fetish develops itself due to an extreme attraction to something that's lacking in the life of the beholder.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 01:49AM by danneeooh https://ift.tt/3uvSr...
Limes are actually rarely a lime green color. They are usually much darker
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:35AM by lukebomb3 https://ift.tt/2YeLu...
There are people who would probably be your best friends if you met them, but you’ll never even know they exist
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:45AM by Mush_Tilly https://ift.tt/3usgN...
Colors could look different to everyone and nobody would know
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:45AM by PurpleLoving9109 https://ift.tt/39MF8...
The urge to sleep debunks the idea of us living in someone's dream.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:46AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3zWRa...
Dreams might be the 5th dimension string theorists are looking for.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:47AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3kSai...
The very first porn stars did not want to be adult film stars when they were in elementary school.
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Submitted September 30, 2021 at 12:47AM by snowfalcon777 https://ift.tt/3zT4m...
Mom Gets Lost in the Forest - Part 2 (Comedy)
https://youtu.be/IaD07uTipRw
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:01AM by crimpysuasages https://ift.tt/3F2q0...
a typical "meet cute" plays out like this, not what you see in rom coms
https://youtu.be/iYlqQoI841Q
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:11AM by Doogie7 https://ift.tt/39K1x...
Michael Lake (Reel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYzU7eqUup4
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:21AM by michaellakereddit https://ift.tt/3B4IO...
Five Deontay Wilder Knockouts (In Super Slow Motion)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGJriLwW8VM
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 03:22AM by Goofy_030 https://ift.tt/3kObI...
Every member of the taliban has a mother
And possibly a sister and an aunt.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:24AM by zib6272 https://ift.tt/3mbA4...
Someone you used to have casual daily run-ins with has died since you saw them last.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:26AM by Insta_Baddy_ChiChis https://ift.tt/3umcp...
There’s nothing wrong with men reading romance novels, as long as they don’t do it in gym shorts or sweatpants.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:33AM by ContraryHook31 https://ift.tt/3uozo...
Cold and Flu medicine doesn't cure you of anything, it just suppresses the symptoms until your body fights it off.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:34AM by farnsworthfan https://ift.tt/39HW4...
Mario wasn't a hero, he was tripping on shrooms while breaking into peoples castles looking for a woman while massacring turtles and having delusions of pyromancy
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:36AM by baryonyx257 https://ift.tt/2Y8Vk...
There weren’t any mirror in ancient greece. Otherwise, medusa wouldn’t exist.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 02:48AM by rockefellerbr https://ift.tt/3APHL...
Dead rabbits always look happy.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:43AM by RandomBitFry https://ift.tt/3zJIy...
It's really hard to imagine an old person named "Ashley"
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:44AM by Honest_Johnson https://ift.tt/2XZNx...
Rule: If a social group exists, there is a nasty stereotype about it.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:46AM by Ateo88 https://ift.tt/3ATDb...
A question can be considered solid, but it can’t be considered liquid.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:46AM by cjohn4043 https://ift.tt/3kOvw...
Tom Holland's Peter Parker must not be a Prequel Star Wars fan as he would definitely have recognized Nick Fury to be Mace Windu.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:50AM by Master_Freeze https://ift.tt/3igxR...
Asking someone if they’re up for something is the same as asking if they’re down with that.
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:45AM by katykaya https://ift.tt/2WixY...
We are so lucky that dogs come with a built in welcome sign, their tail!
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:46AM by Bubonic_Egg https://ift.tt/3igcN...
There never will be surname like Programmer or Robot, because those things didn't existed when surnames were established
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:46AM by hany3112 https://ift.tt/3ukku...
A hut where you laugh is better than a castle where you cry
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Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:49AM by umberto_pagano https://ift.tt/3uhWF...
Getting older leads to feeling more needed but less wanted.
Maybe this is just my experience, though. Mileage may vary.
Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:49AM by nwatrekker https://ift.tt/3ocCu...
Doing something "like a boss" is misleading, since a boss usually delegates tasks.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:39AM by SergeantPsycho https://ift.tt/3kJPf...
The t Pools on the Titanic even after 107 years are still full
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:41AM by pygmypuffonacid https://ift.tt/3id8X...
Gillette is the Bud Light of men's products
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:44AM by myle_xd https://ift.tt/3ufOL...
The first fish to evolve into a tree must‘ve been incredibly slow.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 03:50AM by Theparadingkitten https://ift.tt/2XVnl...
There are probably times on the clock you have never seen
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:34AM by GerritDeBloempot https://ift.tt/3CVNe...
Finger guns actually make the shape of good trigger discipline
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:38AM by _arjun https://ift.tt/39Fz8...
The biggest prank Loki ever played is making people believe that loving your enemies makes any sense
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:38AM by AbaloneSea7265 https://ift.tt/3mltL...
For a guy trying to remain anonymous, Batman sure does a good job branding himself.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:41AM by ourmanflint1 https://ift.tt/3AMU9...
There was once a day where one of your parents set you down, and never picked you back up again.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:43AM by Zanthom19 https://ift.tt/3ugML...
Everybody loves French crepes but if you move the e after the p to before the p you get something everybody hates
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:50AM by Munshar https://ift.tt/3udSw...
No one ever really made a big deal out of David Beckham getting with the rest of the Spice Girls, even after they made their rules very explicit.
I feel like thats rule #1 at the top of Spice Girl membership, but is David really doing his best 24/7 to be friends with the rest of the Spice Girls? Unclear.
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:44AM by nvrdie71 https://ift.tt/3o9F5...
Everything you see at the supermarket will be thrown away.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:46AM by YannisAP https://ift.tt/2XUNy...
Tiny insects probably don’t know when we’re watching them, the same way we don’t know that something a lot larger is watching us…
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:46AM by joshheath98 https://ift.tt/2XXAV...
And the good one dies thinking kindness pays, thought he didn't know that kindness payed the bad one.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:48AM by SiD_-_-_ https://ift.tt/3ufcv...
People who were failed by the education system are the perfect people to help rework the education system, yet they get ignored because they were failed by the education system.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 01:49AM by bubbling_river https://ift.tt/3EUcx...
Your parent’s birthday is your half-birthday.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:30AM by o2lsports https://ift.tt/3B0YV...
To live forever, you have to die.
Just think of all the famous people that are not longer with us. Think of the ancient philosophers.
They all have one thing in common they are dead but still alive in the collective memory.
Some in the collective mind of the world, some in the collective memories of their friends and family, some dissapeard entirely.
As long as you remember your old...
Any piece of poo can memorize a dictionary, but it takes wisdom to make corrections that are helpful
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:35AM by youareunhinged https://ift.tt/3CNCT...
if all content that doesn't fit a specific set of topics approved by a small group of people gets removed immediately, then that group are effectively the thought police.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:47AM by i_hate_tarantulas https://ift.tt/3ibSn...
It's to easy to forget just how big our world is when we get caught up in our small lives.
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Submitted September 28, 2021 at 12:47AM by TheBuddhistTraveler https://ift.tt/3odNa...
Luke and Leia have to live the rest of their lives as siblings both knowing that they're sexually attracted to each other.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:44AM by cactus_deepthroater https://ift.tt/39K3H...
If the Onion posted real news stories people still wouldn't believe them
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:44AM by blairsimons https://ift.tt/3i9DQ...
If brunch is eaten between breakfast and lunch, then lunch is technically brinner
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 03:48AM by ChubbyHongg https://ift.tt/3kKLf...
Wearing sandals in a formal setting is seen OK for women, but not for men
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:24AM by goddamnfaith12 https://ift.tt/3CMCN...
Going deaf in adulthood from listening to loud music as a teen turned out to be less of a problem than we were led to believe.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:36AM by snowfalcon777 https://ift.tt/39ElF...
Humanity would probably save billions of gallons of water per year if people didn’t flush when all they do is pee
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:41AM by JMRooDukes808 https://ift.tt/3zO2c...
Humans are the only animals that enjoy spicy foods
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:41AM by Griffinkeeler https://ift.tt/3CO5I...
All of us have, at some point, kicked a pregnant woman.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:45AM by JeannieRyan https://ift.tt/3CLG6...
Willy Wonka is the Walter White of Sugar.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 02:50AM by RyaKun https://ift.tt/39CLK...
We are accidentally selectively breeding uncatchable fish
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:34AM by Eireconnection https://ift.tt/3ETrw...
Drinking gatorade fortified with vitamins would hypothetically be just as healthy or healthier than eating a variety of fruits.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:35AM by Wisco_Mann https://ift.tt/39EgM...
The nicest people probably also thank Siri after each request.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:40AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3zGv5...
It's good porcupines don't suffer from male pattern baldness like humans
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:46AM by smellmybuttfoo https://ift.tt/3CNxS...
Someday "lifehack" will be a word used to describe failed and/or ugly attempts at homemade stuff and the younger people won't know why
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 01:47AM by henry_paprika https://ift.tt/3ud3S...
Since space is filled with energy, what we perceive as empty space is a physical entity which feels like nothing since we always touch it.
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:23AM by wfezzari https://ift.tt/3AOQg...
We're closer to 2100 than WW2
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:34AM by Androgogy https://ift.tt/3zIVS...
elastigirl can alter her proportions to fit any clothing size
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:34AM by netflixandchild https://ift.tt/3lZi0...
It’s harder to get second place then First
Because you have to be able to maintain yourself over 3rd place, yet under First
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:35AM by WhyThough08 https://ift.tt/2ZyRl...
Have y'all ever noticed that petty behavior is seen as funny in rich/famous people while it'd be seen as petty if it's done by the average citizen
This might be really obvious for some people but if you haven't noticed it here you go.
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:39AM by sayman_art https://ift.tt/3ofn2...
Starting your day with running is a great way to make sure your day can't get any worse
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Submitted September 27, 2021 at 12:48AM by Tronyx001 https://ift.tt/39BK1...
we are lucky we don't have any naturally exposed bones just like teeth, or we would have to brush them too
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:26AM by PigIlFigo32 https://ift.tt/3o983...
Recyclable trash bags defeats the entire purpose
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:32AM by whatsupdoc17 https://ift.tt/2XOSC...
Even though pets are only a small part of our life, we take up the majority of theirs.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:36AM by vizthex https://ift.tt/3o6ED...
Spinning space stations are the ultimate amusement park rides.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:37AM by WeTheSummerKid https://ift.tt/3EU7o...
G O D is one sadistic son of B
G O D is one sadistic son of B. so much suffering in this world.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:49AM by ral20 https://ift.tt/3m22g...
John Wick's dog is responsible for more fictional deaths than most movie villains
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:38AM by sugar-soad https://ift.tt/3AN8d...
Fighter pilots probably don’t think roller coasters are fun
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:38AM by moop8187 https://ift.tt/3m0Ry...
The Word "Before" Comes After the Word "After" in the Dictionary. 0/10 Literally Unplayable.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:40AM by sober_wan_kenobi https://ift.tt/39D2D...
The western hemisphere is located to the east of the eastern hemisphere.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:47AM by make_reddit_great https://ift.tt/3AK7u...
If a church is in a strip mall, then the priest is a stripper.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 02:47AM by Edgar_Thirst https://ift.tt/3ofG1...
The human brain can create comprehensive models of things it can't comprehend.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:22AM by Thecolortheorist https://ift.tt/39DDB...
someone that drinks 5 litres of water a day and someone that drinks 500 millilitres a day both drink an unhealthy amount of water
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:22AM by ToiletClogger42069 https://ift.tt/3o7Gt...
Most dog owners will never get pussy
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:24AM by BatimadosAnos60 https://ift.tt/3kGta...
The Earth is the only place in the known universe where wood is more common than diamonds
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:26AM by N1664TR0N3000 https://ift.tt/3kGQK...
The earth's population is decreasing, very slowly.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 01:44AM by GHfan27 https://ift.tt/3o2Gi...
For kids, "snow" is without the "s", but for adults, it’s without the "s" and "w".
Kids: snow
adults: snow
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:45AM by Mewpup https://ift.tt/3AMYi...
Wireless chargers have wires
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:45AM by blackie-arts https://ift.tt/3AJKH...
Eating is our daily jaw exercise
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:46AM by AmericaRUserious https://ift.tt/3D0Y5...
If there ever is a prince of Nigeria in need of money, he’s going to be sorely disappointed with people’s lack of generosity.
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:49AM by conradicalsmith108 https://ift.tt/3lYYk...
The vagina is the original 3D printer
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Submitted September 26, 2021 at 12:50AM by slop0090 https://ift.tt/2ZwoL...
People on the internet are ok until they get judgemental or don't worry about consequences
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:25AM by Bearturnedhuman https://ift.tt/3CGAc...
The people driving the speed limit in the right lane are probably more likely to be committing a crime than the people speeding
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:29AM by Cgrisz21 https://ift.tt/3o6zZ...
Every music is the joust the same music it different people and music people band too rally hall is too band and old it too and it old old and knbbbsbb ouOUOUOUOoUuOj and it good good good good right good.
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:36AM by Stayhydrated3 https://ift.tt/3AHKK...
The two big economic crises of 2021 were both "EverGr..." (Evergreen/Evergiven & Evergrande) Hmmm
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:41AM by SusanForeman https://ift.tt/3CIa8...
Tech recruiters must get a lot of dates bc they're use to rejection but keep trying
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:44AM by mfairview https://ift.tt/3zHLS...
If you woke up from a deep sleep, be grateful because your glass hasn't run out of life yet, So don't spill the rest of it on sadness carpet. No one will clean your mess. everyone is busy with their own mess!
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:49AM by raydenbrough https://ift.tt/39zUV...
Practically lived at the office for the past year, it’s so satisfying playing the (almost) final product.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35oN6mxmoFs&feature=youtu.be
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:28AM by Vole85 https://ift.tt/3lV31...
BriTANick - Herpex (2008)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrVqD67zils
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:37AM by TrekStebber https://ift.tt/3uebY...
The most heartbreaking pun in history
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmWXuH36ESk
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:49AM by Beautiful-DyzKH0rd https://ift.tt/39FR3...
Quintin Tarantino judging American Idol
https://youtu.be/GT17DkkOB2w
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:01AM by kx11 https://ift.tt/3AFjr...
Pug and German Shepard mix
https://youtu.be/B4YwHkodOG0
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 02:24AM by jonelliotelliot https://ift.tt/3kEau...
"Cleanser" is the gentrified version of "Cleaner".
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:34AM by SayLittleDoMuch https://ift.tt/3o7nq...
Water is probably one of the only products that has more stuff in it the cheaper it is.
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:35AM by MeIsmE_373 https://ift.tt/39yZR...
The number of people older than you is always going down
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:38AM by breck https://ift.tt/2Zzhv...
Being "tough on crime" is the perfect facade for stomping out rival gangs.
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:43AM by Mutant_Llama1 https://ift.tt/3EOga...
Everybody has at least one skeleton in their closet that would change everyone’s perspective on them
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 01:44AM by papas-walking-stick https://ift.tt/3ubMz...
The Russian Norm MacDonald Didn't Kill Himself.
I was watching Norm on the View the other day and overheard him being told to "Go Home" and "You're a Dead Man". After ruminating on how Norm was treated on that show I realized that a Russian Norm would have actually been killed for jokes half as truthful - at least without being twice as funny. #RIP
Reference: https://youtu.be/rtrkF6t7VWI?t=224
Submitted...
Ten plus Ten and Eleven plus Eleven are same. Ten plus ten is Twenty and Eleven plus Eleven is Twenty too.
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:44AM by veytal https://ift.tt/3AGUH...
At some point, each and every one of us will write the last post of our lives.
What do you want yours to be?
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:46AM by ThatGeo https://ift.tt/3i6TR...
If you have a friend named Aaron he’s most likely at the top of your phone contacts list
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:47AM by Strike_Severe https://ift.tt/3i4YH...
When lab-grown meat takes over animal agriculture, people growing up on lab-grown meat will be really confused as to why we loved animals, yet also killed them for food
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Submitted September 25, 2021 at 12:47AM by saminator1002 https://ift.tt/3CEaG...
Using paper to make save the trees posters is a bold fuck you.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:47AM by Appropriate_Put174 https://ift.tt/3i2tu...
Spiderman must yank out so many windows when he's webslinging through the city.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:47AM by theironfist29 https://ift.tt/3lWkQ...
One day, modern technology will be considered vintage.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 03:49AM by approblade https://ift.tt/2XJhq...
Dinosaur Toys made from plastic are dinosaurs made from old dinosaurs
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:42AM by Fynerious https://ift.tt/3EKNT...
Married shapeshifters would probably have the weirdest sex possible.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:45AM by yoavluria https://ift.tt/3i4fp...
girl farts are smelly
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:46AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3kwJx...
Man is the only animal that advertises footwear on hats
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:47AM by World-Tight https://ift.tt/3CKPt...
Instead of Build a Bear it's Build a Bread. You make a loaf of bread with a machine get to choose the options like type, thickness, etc.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 02:49AM by TeroLife https://ift.tt/3CEHD...
Nearly one third of all countries on Earth celebrate an independence day from the British Empire.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:29AM by dunkthelunk8430 https://ift.tt/3kAMy...
Lakes and ponds look like mass gravesites to snowmen.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:30AM by rastroboy https://ift.tt/3lQ7H...
Over the Air is the same as Over the Ground
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:32AM by mastermindxs https://ift.tt/39AUs...
The more you tell someone to send go, the. Effer better to be what your wanting or is penis watch, watch, wahx, the.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:33AM by Stayhydrated3 https://ift.tt/3ACM4...
Modern automotive safety features like collision avoidance and automatic breaking would ruin a lot of action movie car chase scenes
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:34AM by AnDroopi https://ift.tt/3o6tt...
No one will believe the last Kiss tour is actually the last.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 01:50AM by EHWfedPres https://ift.tt/3AOFk...
If you go to bed with an irritated bottom chances are you will wake up with smelly fingers.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:31AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/2XHgg...
A new notebook weighs less than a written in one
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:40AM by IronTemplar26 https://ift.tt/39uTh...
Idiots have higher fertility making non-idiots rare and scarce.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:41AM by Virial23 https://ift.tt/3zBtk...
You gain a kilo if you drink a litre of water
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:42AM by 03pv https://ift.tt/3EM02...
2001: “It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove.” 2021: “It’s not what you know, & it’s not what you can prove.”
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:43AM by EricPro21 https://ift.tt/3lRR2...
Guys who enjoy anal with girls are literally gay.
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Submitted September 24, 2021 at 12:49AM by whodidshit https://ift.tt/3CFEN...
If food can be recycled you may have eaten the same food twice.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:44AM by Collin120423 https://ift.tt/2XQ7b...
Cheese is a Loaf of milk
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:45AM by Apprehensive-Ebb7647 https://ift.tt/2XCq4...
From the foreground of a day at the beach, to a hikers view of a mountain range, somehow pictures of our feet became a thing.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:45AM by redone67 https://ift.tt/2W9Cm...
the hot worter system is failing
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:46AM by Hidden2266 https://ift.tt/3hY5B...
stinky woman farts smell when women break wind and pass gas
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:49AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3hYzi...
The new king trend
Guys starting to hype eachother up on social media the way girls do is mad wholesome and honestly can make my day sometimes. Keep it class kings
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:36AM by -Mainlanders https://ift.tt/3i0mt...
When you think about the organ inside your skull...
the actual biology of it...it’s form and function...when you think about that, the brain is contemplating itself.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:46AM by jamie_maxx https://ift.tt/3Aue4...
With all the human anatomy knowledge that Leonardo da Vinci had, he could've probably been a bodybuilder
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:47AM by brunopachecoliver https://ift.tt/3u5bB...
Rule-breaking rules when the rulers ruling the rules rule the wrong rules into ruling what rules
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:47AM by DarkWarrior0137 https://ift.tt/2W1LO...
Humans often pride themselves in being fluent in more than one language, yet dogs can understand other breeds of dogs, can quickly learn to understand other species of animals, and learn human languages.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 03:49AM by aedynsmom https://ift.tt/3CHKw...
You know every single phone number , you just don’t know who it belongs to.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:43AM by Af7575 https://ift.tt/2XKHJ...
WW1 started because some guy took a wrong turn
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:45AM by calvins48 https://ift.tt/3EGYJ...
Torino's pizza rolls are considered top tier but their frozen pizza is considered low tier.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:46AM by AmityvilleDoraTheExp https://ift.tt/3lOh7...
Totino's pizza rolls are top tier for pizza rolls but their pizza is bottom tier for frozen pizza.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:49AM by AmityvilleDoraTheExp https://ift.tt/3AMX3...
The biggest resistance for returning to work from office is not being able to wear shorts
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 01:50AM by Interesting_Plum_805 https://ift.tt/3CtRR...
When playing "catch", we are throwing just as often as we are catching
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:34AM by Antscannabis https://ift.tt/3EH8o...
The more a person yearns and desires you, the more shit they will put up with.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:40AM by Raven-Would https://ift.tt/3kxpf...
If you eat too many Ringpops you won't be able to wear them anymore
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:41AM by bloodraged189 https://ift.tt/2XNGe...
Saying something tastes like shit implies you have tasted shit
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:47AM by CumHamburger https://ift.tt/3u1sZ...
As technology advances, the Robot Dance is going to look less and less like actual robots.
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Submitted September 23, 2021 at 12:49AM by degrudv https://ift.tt/3nSZc...
Having lots of salt makes you crave water, but not the other way around.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 03:47AM by Flikuh https://ift.tt/3krO5...
Having birthday sex is you celebrating your parents having sex.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 03:49AM by Lexicorint https://ift.tt/39og9...
If a human likes anthropomorphic animals, that makes them a furry. If an animal likes zoomorphic humans, that would also make them a furry.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:40AM by SoupGod228 https://ift.tt/3krHj...
Life was much simpler and more fun before the internet.
Kids playing in the street or riding their bicycle from here to there with no adult in sight, homes left unlocked all the time, board games and cards was a fun Friday night, people not trying to keep up with the Jone’s like now, families together for high school football games without having to compete on social media for likes, teens actually being...
“Men will be men” unless they are transexual, then women will be men
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:45AM by NaSinRao https://ift.tt/3zylJ...
Forest Gump taught Elvis how to dance on stage
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:46AM by thatdilf https://ift.tt/39qOI...
Priests have the biggest loads in all of human race
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:47AM by Raaddus https://ift.tt/2VZsa...
Hypnotist entertainers only have to be good enough to convince the audience the show was incredible.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 02:47AM by SolomonGilbert https://ift.tt/2XFfz...
The only way to win the game is to not know you're playing.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:40AM by Justkill43 https://ift.tt/39wVO...
There is always someone, somewhere having a poo. Therefore as a collective we are continuously pooing
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:44AM by linfudd https://ift.tt/3ucMr...
More posts get removed here than getting posted because they break the rules.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:46AM by whodidshit https://ift.tt/2ZepI...
You have probably randomly popped in to someones mind while they were masturbating.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:48AM by MrChedar https://ift.tt/3krOZ...
You are legally not allowed to be Christian and be smug enough to say "You should always question things, Especially authority"
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 01:50AM by llThat1Guyll https://ift.tt/3Cy51...
Trees are the only living thing where the younger they are the more comfortable we are with killing them.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:28AM by justmikewilldo https://ift.tt/3nRZQ...
History Books are the bookmarks our ancestors left when they browsed earth.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:32AM by sakib008 https://ift.tt/3CyGr...
The old you is your younger self.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:33AM by Sic-Parvis-Magna https://ift.tt/2XLZo...
Animals in the wild basically live in a horror movie
Werewolves, Vampires, Zombies are as threatening to us as a Lion or a pack of hyenas are to a zebra for example.
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:35AM by _Yunk_Vino_13 https://ift.tt/3CEg4...
Chemistry is dangerous as fuck
And it will make you do some stuuuuuuupid ass shit and you have no idea why but ya gotta lol.
Anyone relate?
Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:40AM by Secret-Pension-9641 https://ift.tt/3tXpT...
If it weren't for the dishonesty of humans, wars could be completely fought and won with nothing more than a giant game of paintball/airsoft.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:45AM by WolfieVonD https://ift.tt/3nVpK...
If you enjoy life a lot, you make everyone around you enjoy life too.
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Submitted September 22, 2021 at 12:46AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/2VXCH...
Earlier in his career Sir Richard Attenborough would have been thought of as the more famous of the brothers.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:42AM by TheWeeDrammer https://ift.tt/3kp4o...
Seat belts are enforced for cars, while motorbikers go free riding a riskier vehicle
If law is concerned with the safety of the driver, how come same logic doesn't apply for motorbikers?
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:43AM by Ahmatt https://ift.tt/3hSW6...
Most people’s biggest accomplishment is owning an asset of some sort
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:46AM by phantomofthej https://ift.tt/2ZalZ...
When You Get The Itch To Try Beating The Odds, Be Sure You Can Survive The Likelihood Of The Odds Beating You.
Because, reality.
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 03:50AM by dilligaf0220 https://ift.tt/2XyKm...
Nowadays, people think it’s cool to use wired earbuds
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:36AM by Absolutely__Free https://ift.tt/3u9AC...
If you try to swap brains with someone, you'll actually end up swapping bodies.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:37AM by theflyingpingu https://ift.tt/2ZkVY...
The entire contents of the Library of Alexandria could probably fit onto a low-capacity SD card.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:44AM by fenriswolf_411 https://ift.tt/2XwVm...
Best thing about chilling your beers in the freezer and it is slightly slushy, you know you're not losing any alcohol.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:46AM by -iamai- https://ift.tt/3lKVm...
“Work/life balance” is actually a luxury that young upper middle class people complain about when they feel like they don’t have it.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 02:49AM by shabbos_roller https://ift.tt/3zrZ9...
Almost every competitive chess match in a resignation or a draw
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:19AM by Environmental-Nail22 https://ift.tt/2XD2i...
Humans are kinda like the universe
the blood cells are the asteroids, comets, etc.
the organs are the planets
the heart is the sun
and the brain is the moon (for every planet)
Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:23AM by KingZeikoOfRomania https://ift.tt/3Arqn...
One of the saddest parts of growing up is not having foods you enjoyed when you were younger because of changing tastes (or cooking abilities) within your household.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:32AM by schuey_08 https://ift.tt/39niC...
WW1 happened because a dude from Austria got shot. WW2 happened because a dude from Austria didn't get shot.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:37AM by n-x https://ift.tt/2ZkIM...
some women get bad smelling farts regardless of how hot they are
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:39AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/39lSr...
Money smells like a roller skating rink
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 01:39AM by Vordimous https://ift.tt/3lFEL...
Knowing that "knowledge is power" implies you already have some power.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:45AM by chizass https://ift.tt/3EySV...
Hoping for something is the same as worrying it won’t happen, a major cause of suffering.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:46AM by KhaleesiDog https://ift.tt/3zley...
We are probably the most beautiful generations of humans if we assume that attractive people tend to pass on their genes more.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:47AM by jjdoubleA https://ift.tt/3ECWw...
All fictional characters are based on real humans.
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:47AM by bandwarmelection https://ift.tt/3AtJy...
Some dogs bark uncontrollably, because they can understand us, so they *think* we can understand them
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Submitted September 21, 2021 at 12:49AM by salladfingers https://ift.tt/3ko1B...
Humans are colonizing other planets just to destroy them too… We could destroy the whole Universe
Edit: Ignore the last sentence lmaooo
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:43AM by okayokayokay9reddit https://ift.tt/3hMV4...
You can access the console on PC games, but you can't access the console on console.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by Shtonee https://ift.tt/2XDgB...
The people in charge of naming stuff did a really good job. The person who came up with “grubby” knew what they were doing.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by lonkbonk_ https://ift.tt/3EIig...
Men can never jinx themselves because they always have wood to knock on
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:44AM by KuriKoer517 https://ift.tt/2XJYA...
The easyer it is to be original,the harder it is to be original
Hits blunt
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 03:46AM by pixelcore332 https://ift.tt/3nOJK...
Fully colour blind people can't confirm if blue is actually blue, etc.
Sounded better in my head.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by AndreyProduct https://ift.tt/2XtUH...
A PC has a microprocessor; the human using an abacus is a macroprocessor.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by real_smoky https://ift.tt/3zmKi...
Icy Hot works on all of your skin except your palms
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:46AM by smithjohnsonian1 https://ift.tt/3EyK0...
People that choose not to have kids are single-handedly ending thousands and thousands of years of a genetic lineage
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:47AM by 45_tubs_of_guts https://ift.tt/3lHMY...
If one guy in a MFM threesome is banging the girl from behind and she is sucking the other guy more enthusiastically because it feels good, then technically the first guy is pleasuring the second guy
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 02:48AM by TheManWhoDelivers https://ift.tt/3lBZK...
The wrong people are dying.
As of late, the grim reaper could make much better choices.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:42AM by itallica https://ift.tt/3o2ij...
You're gonna eat 8 spiders in your sleep during your lifetime and some of them are gonna be pregnant.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:43AM by ChittyBangBang335 https://ift.tt/3nOz3...
All pit bulls look scary
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:44AM by elente1 https://ift.tt/2Zemk...
bees love flowers, so if you ever give a woman flowers, and she accepts, she is actually a bunch of bees in a costume, run away
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:45AM by Mr_No741 https://ift.tt/3nNrT...
Every minute, someone in the world has an orgasm.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 01:46AM by ArrynMythey https://ift.tt/3nIuC...
Midnight is always tomorrow.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:38AM by PrincessDoubleBubble https://ift.tt/2Xy1I...
Those who still choose to smoke cigarettes must be psychologically impaired.
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:40AM by dr--moreau https://ift.tt/3EB1h...
Ice cubes are rarely cubes
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:48AM by NautySquid https://ift.tt/2Zehl...
Cool Idea for a Vehicle: A Quadcopter with a Blimp in the Middle
Blimp would make it neurally buoyant and the four rotors would give it speed.
Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:49AM by GameShill https://ift.tt/2VXCP...
bl bLBlsdj JSDKFjfhjd hjhfkjdshhfas
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Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:49AM by Mr_No741 https://ift.tt/3Eywt...
One plus of humans evolving to love giving and receiving oral is that is keeps society’s genitals cleaner on the whole.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:39AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/2VQsu...
The Most Luckiest Human and the Most Unluckiest Human are probably the same person
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:40AM by ThakkaduAndAnatidae https://ift.tt/3AoTb...
Tomboys are the opposite of femboys.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:41AM by SirFixalot1116 https://ift.tt/2Xume...
Somewhere out there, someone will have been issued the pin number " 1 2 3 4" by their bank
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:44AM by Kunxion https://ift.tt/3lBj9...
Talking to yourself so that you can achieve what you deeply wish actually opens your mind for future opportunities to achieve the wish faster
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 03:46AM by OletArvokasTollasena https://ift.tt/3tRnP...
It's socially acceptable to wear shorts during winter but less socially acceptable to wear a hoodie during summer.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:37AM by guilcol https://ift.tt/3tU1P...
There is probably some major world event that happened while you were masturbating.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:40AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/3CokF...
We Would Freak Ourselves Out ---
If we were another species and saw a documentary on how we humans go through conception, gestation, and birth - we would be their horror films.
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:41AM by Positive-Squirrel121 https://ift.tt/3CsFe...
Many people hate their lives, but biological and social pressures keep them from ending it.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:48AM by RowBowBooty https://ift.tt/3EG7W...
Loneliness really hit different on school trips
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 02:50AM by ehfre https://ift.tt/3lG59...
When you get an erection you are technically shapeshifting
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:37AM by Fufa_G https://ift.tt/2VSEg...
If colors are perceived by light reflection and seen differently through a variety of species, then the colors we know aren't actually the colors we think they are
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:44AM by Comprehensive_Math17 https://ift.tt/2Xtwj...
We know how almost everything we see and touch tastes like, even though we have no previous memory of tasting those textures.
Like grass, keyboards or the floor. (not for edibles though)
Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:44AM by IdentifiesAsAnOnion https://ift.tt/3AmJK...
People talk about how great and important literature is but given the opportunity Homer would have made a movie.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:46AM by zqxop https://ift.tt/2XB44...
A good rumor in the 90s would have been, “the more water you drink the higher you get.”
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 01:48AM by Billy_T_Wierd https://ift.tt/3AucT...
A room is full when it still has empty space in it
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:27AM by orthros_77 https://ift.tt/2YZy7...
mastery is not possible. the moment you think you have, it's already evolved into some other level.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:30AM by kcsporttoo https://ift.tt/3hGtq...
When we are all gone, future generations will eventually uncover everything about our lives both good and bad.
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:33AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/2Z5gu...
Tattoos have become more of a symbol of conformity than rebellion
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:46AM by sine_labore_nihil https://ift.tt/3hJrZ...
Surely Polaroid would sell more pictures if they made them bigger...
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Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:47AM by kingchowww https://ift.tt/3lvHN...
Our lives are only as long as our next breath. Heard it last week and still thinking about it. Hits differently when baked.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:41AM by keatonwick https://ift.tt/2XC9B...
The hearse: A limousine for the newly dead.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:42AM by Strange_Fruit_007 https://ift.tt/3lCYY...
The more kinkier you get with the type of meat, the more exotic it's considered
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:44AM by Cinoreus https://ift.tt/3Cr41...
Unbeknownst to somebody simply doing their job, they are ruining the life of someone else.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:45AM by sailboatwallpaper https://ift.tt/3CsKM...
Most milk brands follow a similar color scheme for the caps of their different fat percent milks.
How did they manage to do that? It’s so convenient.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 10:48AM by xdaemonisx https://ift.tt/3tQkf...
Usually you drink from the top, but with a straw you drink from the bottom.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:37AM by n3rv0u5 https://ift.tt/3Ev2A...
Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:38AM by AuthenticAsher https://ift.tt/39jbt...
Everyone reaches a point where they will never meet another new person...
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:41AM by ph30nix01 https://ift.tt/3lAia...
Everyone has a tattoo of the invisible boat mobile
MamamaMAmamamamama
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:45AM by proceeds_theweedian https://ift.tt/3nKWN...
If you transition and become recognised as female a few years before the male retirement age, does your retirement age change to that of a woman
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 09:49AM by NoWest7670 https://ift.tt/2VP8f...
If someone took your phone and texted someone something stupid or posted something embarrassing on your social media feed no-one would ever believe you.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:34AM by mBub1e https://ift.tt/3zizG...
It is a bad mistake nutritional classes in elementary school portray cheese as healthy.
Most cheeses that are delicious are often too high in calories and maybe saturated and especially the terrible trans fat to be considered healthy.
Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:35AM by Super_ACF https://ift.tt/3lykf...
It says a lot about school if kids would rather steal from one than sit through a single class.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:43AM by ral365 https://ift.tt/3AgVd...
We are all dying.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:45AM by OB1KENOB https://ift.tt/3nOeX...
There's no real reason why northern has to be drawn as upwards on maps, we just unanimously agreed north was up and south was down, even though there is no up nor down in space.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 08:45AM by SimonidesFabiano https://ift.tt/3tYeh...
Wearing Lycra is a privilege
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:40AM by jrumley911 https://ift.tt/3Eu0M...
People who confidently talk about the Dunning-Kruger effect are probably under the Dunning-Kruger effect about the Dunning-Kruger effect.
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:42AM by AJEstes https://ift.tt/39dtw...
It’s a pity when men gain weight none of it goes to their dicks
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:43AM by JonTop97 https://ift.tt/3nGvc...
Poetry is the abstract art of the writing world
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:47AM by mtdunca https://ift.tt/39fKx...
Divorce rates are so high, because people only started marrying for love in the last 100 years. It's a relatively new concept .
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Submitted September 18, 2021 at 07:48AM by LufiasThrowaway https://ift.tt/3nJhk...
Our taxes pay to settle lawsuits on police officer's crimes, whose salaries are paid for by our taxes to protect us from crimes.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:20AM by intrepidated https://ift.tt/39dhz...
From a dog’s perspective humans are barking at each other all day
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:21AM by the_owningexpert2 https://ift.tt/3kez2...
Handicapped people are hardcore crips
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:22AM by CrikeyKillz https://ift.tt/3lwYG...
It’s weird that smelly shit comes out of our ass and no one is trying to find a solution.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 03:24AM by stailbreadwastaken https://ift.tt/2XBqS...
Living an ethical and moral life because a holy book says so isn't the same as living an ethical and moral life because it's innate within you to do so
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:29AM by T3knikal95 https://ift.tt/3tUa0...
Wearing a suit gives you instant social status
Even if it's only for the time you wear the suit
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:30AM by qweter1006 https://ift.tt/3Cngz...
Dictionaries could be so much shorter if they used pictures
Because a picture is worth a thousand words
Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:32AM by qweter1006 https://ift.tt/3AhEf...
Saying "I couldn't care less" is a fallacy, as if you completely didn't care about something at all you wouldn't think about it or comment on it
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:33AM by allthekos https://ift.tt/3AiNO...
Nobody must have ever heard more gossip than priests in the confessional
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 02:33AM by bjorn4r https://ift.tt/3lANg...
Almost all straight men have masturbated while watching an erect male penis.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:24AM by VeryLazyLewis https://ift.tt/2Xtq5...
QR codes are technically a type of optical storage media... putting them in the same category as CDs and DVDs.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:24AM by xe3to https://ift.tt/3nEoH...
Keys on someone’s belt, are the modern day spurs from the old west.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:28AM by BroHanzo https://ift.tt/3AiHC...
Bow legged people get a constant stream of fresh air to their private parts.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:28AM by FaxTimeMachine https://ift.tt/3Cb9Y...
There are a lot of people that did something wrong and never got the consequences.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:31AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/39bpb...
if you have sex with a miner you both find things that are hard
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 01:32AM by Infamous5678 https://ift.tt/3nGj6...
If men got to choose their penis size it would probably be too big to fit in most women's vagina comfortably.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:15AM by NothingElseBetter2do https://ift.tt/39awU...
Frozen bodies at the top of Mt Everest may have second life when folks from future invent the technology.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:31AM by Bablofil https://ift.tt/3zie1...
Paul McCartney could never have anticipated that 50 years in the future an algorithm would play random songs from back side of Abbey Road out of order
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:33AM by Nice-Violinist-6395 https://ift.tt/3Ce5s...
Our universe might be simulated by intelligent dinosaur descendants who just wanted to see what would happen if they bonked the earth with an asteroid 65 million years ago.
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Submitted September 17, 2021 at 12:33AM by RaunakA_ https://ift.tt/39c1B...
It seems ironic that we root for the Doom guy to succeed when you consider where the majority of us will probably end up.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:12AM by smokeymctokerson https://ift.tt/3hDkE...
A person who owns an egg farm is an Ovalord
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:16AM by lordwarriorpoet https://ift.tt/3ls4g...
If mosquitos use our blood to make their babies, then mosquitos technically rape us
I do not consent
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:17AM by InternComprehensive1 https://ift.tt/2VLjT...
Woodstock probably were way more rapey than people remark
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 03:22AM by Maximum-Potential-41 https://ift.tt/2Z1fQ...
iPhones don't feel as prestigious as they once did
Back when I was in high school (mid 2000s) having an apple product was a luxury. When the iTouch and iPhone came out, it definitely felt special to own one. Even when I went to college in the early 2010s, it still carried that feeling of "prestige" when you had a iPhone. It doesn't feel that way anymore. I don't if it's due to becoming mainstream...
Wyoming is bigger than the UK, but the UK has 117x more population.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:24AM by -Ninety- https://ift.tt/2Xsfb...
Birds are born to fly, but some have to be scared of heights
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:26AM by OneMillionRegrets https://ift.tt/3EghV...
Your twenties is when many of your friends get married. Your thirties is when your friends get divorced . . .
Your forties is when all of your friends’ dogs start dying.
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:29AM by CMoy1980 https://ift.tt/3tHPK...
Comic sans is the mullet of fonts.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 02:31AM by fruity-line_segment https://ift.tt/3Ek6H...
Notification sounds on phones make us Pavlov’s dogs in a way.
One person could get a text in a crowded area and everyone will just look, it’s kinda scary
Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:25AM by RasheenHyuga https://ift.tt/2Xqze...
The air we breath is made for Neon, Oxygen, and Nitrogen, if you put them together, they spell "NeON"
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by AzureTheSeawing https://ift.tt/39aPX...
School, high-school etc’s experience is only as good as the people you study alongside with.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by nicolRB https://ift.tt/3lweB...
If Zombies ever exist, there is a high chance that you will encounter a naked zombie on a weekly basis.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:26AM by Kyro_Sol https://ift.tt/3nCFo...
People who operate the video and audio in theaters get paid to watch movies
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 01:28AM by xxiputxsinmynamexx https://ift.tt/3Ewid...
Chefs, sous chefs and prep cooks toss more salad than the average porn star
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:16AM by occasionaldrinker https://ift.tt/2Z2lH...
“Take care!” is the opposite of “Take it easy!”, yet we use them interchangeably
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:18AM by optimus314159 https://ift.tt/39beM...
We get angry when people cheat on us but animals are fine with it
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:21AM by Sandeep_Joestar https://ift.tt/2YPIg...
Much like in video games, most of Earth's more hidden/obscure lore are in books you have to go out of your way to find
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:22AM by AlolaSnorlax https://ift.tt/2Xlaf...
As long as they can write each human has their own font which is unique to them.
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:22AM by clout0777 https://ift.tt/3nykw...
King Klong, the fat baboon man with sexy girlfriend ‘Janet’, he climbed the Empire State and waved at some biplanes. What have you done with your life, huh
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Submitted September 16, 2021 at 12:25AM by nickp1999 https://ift.tt/3z8AC...
Sword doesn't rhyme with word.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:05AM by OriginalCpiderman https://ift.tt/3zbpz...
“Headphones” is kind of a misnomer. They’re actually just head-speakers in most case.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:06AM by ScarletRedReader https://ift.tt/3k8Cp...
Norm Macdonald bought the farm
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:11AM by Montanabioguy https://ift.tt/3Ehjp...
A divination halfling with a criminal background is a small medium at large
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:11AM by Odin-LordOfTheDisco https://ift.tt/39829...
A fish living in a small lake, probably feel the same as a human living in a small island in the middle of the sea
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 03:20AM by rmmf05 https://ift.tt/3CblI...
Norm McDonald often made jokes about cancer while secretly dying from it unbeknownst to the audience.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:05AM by Airsinner https://ift.tt/2Xkxd...
Since slowing down is a form of acceleration, and you have to hold down the gas to maintain a constant speed in your vehicle, you have to press the accelerator in order to not accelerate.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:15AM by CourageKitten https://ift.tt/3hyal...
Owning an NFT is a right to pretend to own something that nobody else can pretend to own.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:21AM by braingemz https://ift.tt/399yt...
poopy butt head lol
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:23AM by Mr_Yes741 https://ift.tt/2XnqJ...
Really good design is the art of removing the need for signs.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 02:24AM by AcidTrucks https://ift.tt/3zb48...
For a movie that is generally considered a great love story, "Ghost" (1990) had some really scary special effects in the form of those dark spirits that dragged the bad guys to hell.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:06AM by harmonicpenguin https://ift.tt/2YX27...
On average hair length is inversely proportional to age
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:09AM by xX4lph0ns3D5tr0y3RXx https://ift.tt/2Xf9n...
Elementary school proposal and weddings
I am still technically engaged to multiple people form elementary school
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:16AM by Proof-Luck2392 https://ift.tt/2XtAL...
The scale of infinity in our imagination often reflects how old or wise we are.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:17AM by senju_bandit https://ift.tt/3lmbD...
Almost 25 years since “a Night at the Roxbury” and 45 since Grandmaster Flash, there’s ever more seniors jammin’ to hip hop, electronic club music, etc.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 01:24AM by IronyElSupremo https://ift.tt/3Ei50...
Lexus can be pluralized as Lexus' and Lexī.
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:25AM by AutumnAscending https://ift.tt/2YWkK...
You can't hmm if you pinch your nose shut
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:25AM by J_mo0d https://ift.tt/3zaq2...
The national Pokedex is likely ordered differently for each region
I assume that as Pokemon are gradually discovered in the story, each region at firsts the Pokemon in their region are the only ones exist, before all the professors notified each other and decided to build a National Dex. But since the national one always starts with the Kanto monsters, it’s possible that in each region, their one comes first. You’re...
If you're known for your pokerface, then you've a terrible one
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Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:31AM by yubioh https://ift.tt/3tGnm...
Terrestrial Birds are the least conflicted about where they want to be….All other birds are always going up or down.
……I’d rather be well ground.
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 12:34AM by TreesRco_olNtheDark https://ift.tt/3nytT...
People who normally speak in the third person probably have difficulty acting as a character that is named differently than they are.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:24AM by RenegadeRising https://ift.tt/3tBIc...
Any type of Vanilla food implies that there is a kink or fetish version of that food. E.g. Vanilla ice cream and kinky ice cream...
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:25AM by MnrRooikat https://ift.tt/3loMs...
When you're little they tell you that sex jokes are for adults and when you're an adult they tell you that sex jokes are childish.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:32AM by MasterStardust https://ift.tt/3tEwO...
Eating is foreplay for scat fetishists
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 03:35AM by Chickeney https://ift.tt/3Ag46...
The human body and the earth both consist of about 70% undrinkable water
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:21AM by surfingjesus https://ift.tt/3nvQd...
If we humans could lick our own taints we would.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:21AM by MrTyl3nol https://ift.tt/3EbrN...
we can't achieve AI because when we do we become it and it starts over
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:22AM by canbii https://ift.tt/3A8Nm...
Every pot has a lid. And even if you can’t find one, you can always use some pan
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:22AM by mr_no_it_alll https://ift.tt/3hpgP...
The only good zombie is a dead zombie.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 02:33AM by blutbad_buddy https://ift.tt/3C8yL...
People have phone syndrome
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:22AM by ALeadKeyhole https://ift.tt/3linS...
Your IQ is locked behind a paywall
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:25AM by Zeusproject96 https://ift.tt/3EelD...
While other emotions motivate people to reform their surroundings, the emotion of love transforms people themselves.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:26AM by JellyfishLow https://ift.tt/2VCXz...
The French people collectively decided to put as many consonants as possible into every word and then not pronounce any of them.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:28AM by 1000Huzzahs https://ift.tt/2Xhsi...
apps shake when you press and hold them because they're scared they're going to get deleted
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 01:31AM by iiglxtchii https://ift.tt/2Xmev...
If humans were as small as ants, instead of exploring space, we would explore treetops.
DIG me?
Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:15AM by Kamran_Santiago https://ift.tt/3EdVV...
The sky daddy is winning the longest, ever, game of hide and go seek.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:17AM by Judear https://ift.tt/3loxv...
"impregnation fetish" is an oxymoron
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:22AM by RealLifeDad81 https://ift.tt/3Aags...
The cure for being a zombie.. Could just be eating vegetables.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:29AM by DaHedgehog27 https://ift.tt/3z7uE...
We have to really trust dishwashers at restaurants to be good at what they do, considering how many people put their utensils in their mouths.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:30AM by petey_wheatstraw_99 https://ift.tt/2XpOV...
Flies are so cocky. Always landing on the giant thing that wants to kill them just because they can.
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Submitted September 14, 2021 at 12:31AM by trimdaddyflex https://ift.tt/3z7Th...
Some people literally have more trust with their lives for the carnies putting rides together at a pop-up carnival, than they do for the people who studied for years and years.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:15AM by PM_UR__BUBBLE_BUTTS https://ift.tt/3z13e...
Bragging about your self-awareness is a surefire way to show that you have none.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:19AM by manic_lethargy https://ift.tt/2Xn8I...
People who go on spiritual journeys tend to become more narcissistic, not better people
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:23AM by Tking179 https://ift.tt/3tEGD...
If bats had houses they’d probably use speakers instead of lights to see
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:24AM by An_Epic_Pancake https://ift.tt/2XcWQ...
We have no idea what an antarctican accent is.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 03:26AM by ImaginationOk9328 https://ift.tt/2YF7E...
Your car is a portable speaker.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:25AM by tdun56 https://ift.tt/3lzdj...
Children in school are taught double standards as soon as they get two teachers who have opposite rules on something, even more so if they have them in the same year
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:29AM by HadACivilDebateOnlin https://ift.tt/3Ck3L...
Dogs must wonder why their owners keep collecting their poo and what they are using it for.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:36AM by Waxfadge https://ift.tt/3Edcs...
It would make more sense to play Monopoly where everyone is a different type of car. Imagine the invisible citizens on the Monopoly property seeing a cat, thimble, tophat, and duck running their property.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:38AM by Suitable_Aioli213 https://ift.tt/3k31n...
Grilled Cheese + Tomato Soup = Pizza
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 02:45AM by theprettynoodles https://ift.tt/3nsz9...
If you are a shapeshifter and you shapeshift, but don't change your voice, You would sound weird. But if you don't shapeshift, but can change your voice, people would think you have an incredible talent.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:32AM by shapeshifterotaku https://ift.tt/2Xl5N...
A mechanical keyboard is one of the few electronics that the older it gets, the better it gets.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by Silverfox1921 https://ift.tt/3C3ID...
Candyman movie is false advertising... There wasn't a single piece of candy in the whole thing.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by shwarma_heaven https://ift.tt/2YK19...
Pumpkin Spice is gross.
In my opinion…
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:35AM by pigthepuggle https://ift.tt/3k6Vp...
Light speed is actually super slow. If we ever inhabit the next closest star, Alpha Centauri, even with light-speed communication it would take ~8.5 years just to send and receive a message there from Earth.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 01:42AM by PM_UR__BUBBLE_BUTTS https://ift.tt/2Xb3M...
Thousands of people have been molested while under anesthesia but have no idea
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:23AM by saladenjoyer0 https://ift.tt/3lf3q...
Getting seriously injured in a soccer match must suck, because no one will believe you.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:27AM by VexuBenny https://ift.tt/2Xdaf...
Umm is most likely the most used word in the English language
Um I think that’s right.
Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:29AM by deeterman https://ift.tt/3ljM0...
The fact that phones are frequently free or majorly discounted shows how much carriers are screwing us on monthly service costs.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:30AM by kitch5 https://ift.tt/3lf3n...
Some people sneeze right at your face and then place a hand on their nose.
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Submitted September 13, 2021 at 12:31AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/2Xdan...
Internet allows smart people to get smarter and stupid people to get even stupider
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:21AM by OmiNya https://ift.tt/3lf2L...
Mr. Krabs doesn't get money for himself, he gets money to spend on Pearl so she can have what she wants.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:21AM by GreatestBagel https://ift.tt/3npZR...
Most of the people in north korea have never seen a black person.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:23AM by dogofwars https://ift.tt/3ldo4...
Everyone is ambidextrous when it comes to trimming your finger nails.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:23AM by Handeatingcat https://ift.tt/3z8cD...
The last message from a loved one, can easily be the very last message you see from them
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 03:24AM by ToucanSpaceman https://ift.tt/3E8ru...
For being one of the most famous cafés you never see a Starbucks add
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:17AM by RandomHuman512 https://ift.tt/3C65Z...
showing someone your neck shows that you trust the other person
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:24AM by hodnydylko https://ift.tt/3901s...
We charge our phone once or twice a day, but we never complain about eating at least three meals per day to function, and working most of our lives to achieve it
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:24AM by CherryAntAttack https://ift.tt/3tyWX...
The opposite of Wet dreams are hot nightmares
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:32AM by Your_friendly_weirdo https://ift.tt/2YEuM...
The funniest pun ever made is most definetely not applicable in your language.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 02:33AM by shnuggelster https://ift.tt/3tGUr...
Psychics that’s don’t accept walk-in appointments aren’t real psychics. They’d be expecting them.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:26AM by droppingbasses https://ift.tt/3EcTQ...
If you plant cotton, not only do you get to reap what you sow but you also get to sew what you reap.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:27AM by ThanksAanderton https://ift.tt/3z5lr...
Bringing the most bad in the past is a bratwurst.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:28AM by Gary_October https://ift.tt/3twxv...
When an expert gives you good advice pertaining to their specialized field, it’s seen as wholesome and caring. When an equally qualified artist offers constructive criticism, they are a snob.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:29AM by dpforest https://ift.tt/3E9WT...
As you go through the vowels in alphabetical order (a,e,i,o,u) to fill in f_ck, it sounds closer to the actual word.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 01:29AM by ALPHABOGDOG https://ift.tt/3hrpj...
A Deaf Horse Is Borderline Useless
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 11:59PM by Ollyrock https://ift.tt/3hpbQ...
Dogs think elevators are instant teleportation devices
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:00AM by Potato_Salad_PS https://ift.tt/3z7X2...
If more people were aware that Bolognese is also dog breed, any pasta with Bolognese sauce wouldn’t sell very well
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:04AM by fergi20020 https://ift.tt/3hpbV...
There’s probably a version of someone’s hell that is watching someone they hated’s life flash before their eyes over and over.
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:11AM by anatomyofawriter https://ift.tt/2Xedt...
There is no prediction without data
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Submitted September 12, 2021 at 12:13AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/3BXRg...
It's mental that we still think we are in control of the machines but when we recieve notifications, we are very obedient.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:17AM by p14ate https://ift.tt/3tz6W...
By definition, a carnivorous pitcher plant is a thirst trap.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:20AM by tintooth66 https://ift.tt/3tuDz...
Animals life is same as our like we work hard for good future and comfortable life animals good life is equal to getting adopted by rich family so they work hard to get noticed by a rich family
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:21AM by _itsmagic https://ift.tt/3nuFZ...
Thinking you're going to change your life after your shower, but you end up not doing anything at all....
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 03:24AM by Kaylboo https://ift.tt/2X7wh...
People with bad grades from the start of their schooling live better lives as no one really expects anything from them.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:12AM by JellyfishLow https://ift.tt/2X6y7...
Earplugs look like buttplugs
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:16AM by MicrowaveKing456 https://ift.tt/2Vyd5...
The CIA probably uses intense tickling as an interrogation technique
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:20AM by pixeltater https://ift.tt/2VxxX...
The usual try history to post here is more embarrassing than the usual browser history
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:29AM by Nedpet https://ift.tt/3E6WZ...
The parking setting on a car is cruise control but for stopping.
Like if you don’t put the car in park it still moves forward so you have to the press the pedal. Like cruise control in which your foot isn’t on the petal for your car to drive.
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 02:33AM by IfANoseKnows https://ift.tt/3C150...
Great is probably the most sarcastic word ever..
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:25AM by saiyaniam https://ift.tt/3tEMc...
The word positive has a negative connotation for the past year and a half
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:25AM by the_seed https://ift.tt/3jZlF...
Smart phones will cause human necks to evolve to be curved for easier viewing.
*If the earth survives long enough for it to happen
Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:29AM by whookid1209 https://ift.tt/3yYRn...
A lot of people think it's noble to die for what you believe unless it actually came down to actually doing just that.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:30AM by shankroidbeast https://ift.tt/3lchh...
Cells and bacteria are micro-organisms living in us. Animals, plants and humans are micro-organisms living in earth. Earth is a micro-organism living in space.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 01:33AM by D45ers https://ift.tt/2XaB0...
After the first slice of cake, you only need to put in half as much work to get every slice afterwards
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:24AM by Banres https://ift.tt/3E7uK...
Gangsta rap is homicidal. Mumble rap is suicidal.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:25AM by Faceless-Pronoun https://ift.tt/3hk3s...
Other people want you to succeed until it makes them look/feel bad
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:26AM by yeezymeister52 https://ift.tt/2Vvyk...
For most people, the hardest they will work on their house is when they are trying to get rid of it.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:29AM by AminesToAnEnd https://ift.tt/2XeZR...
The underlying desire for men to have a big penis is actually not to pleasure women, but to recreate the visuals of porn.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:29AM by danneeooh https://ift.tt/3C3xH...
Sometimes First aid is also Last aid.
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Submitted September 11, 2021 at 12:31AM by fedoras4furries https://ift.tt/3twGy...
Amish people were probably surprised when they traveled into town one day and discovered everyone was wearing face coverings.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:22AM by wfezzari https://ift.tt/3ttHW...
Someday we’ll have the scientific technology to grow human fetuses outside the womb, and the idea of going through pregnancy and childbirth to reproduce will seem medieval.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:24AM by whole_lot_of_velcro https://ift.tt/3hjsJ...
Technically, eyes are visible light antennas.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:25AM by iAmDoneTryingAnother https://ift.tt/3njdY...
If cell phone footage of people acting stupid and losing their jobs has taught us anything, it's mind your own fucking business.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:27AM by bobbydigital_ftw https://ift.tt/3yZB0...
"with all due respect" is the professional sounding version of "no offence but . . ."
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 02:29AM by Soaring_Symphony https://ift.tt/3ttcY...
Bingo the Story Dog
https://youtu.be/AqTrDVL_rGI
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:08AM by Beesonmann https://ift.tt/3hj1R...
Dirty Back Road -- The B-52's (1980)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4qbZxzQ3Js
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:09AM by imagepoem https://ift.tt/3l7pP...
If Joe Rogan could rap
https://youtu.be/LsKsjrfH8rk
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:12AM by amothgoesinto https://ift.tt/3yTXW...
TV on the radio - Staring at the sun (2004)
https://youtu.be/oHrTOQ18yzU
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:30AM by lovinnow https://ift.tt/3C1zs...
Marvel's Spider-Man 2 - PlayStation Showcase 2021 Trailer | PS5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIQ3xNqkVC4
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:41AM by GodzXPro https://ift.tt/3nkug...
The reverse of pickpocketing is putpocketing.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:10AM by FiLo1313 https://ift.tt/38TDT...
Since humans evolved from fish, who are carnivores, veganism goes against millions of years of evolution
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:12AM by MicrowaveKing456 https://ift.tt/3z0wj...
A plausible Wikipedia entry in the year 100K: "The 21st century was characterized by the activity of extracting fossil fuels and converting them to pornographic videos".
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:13AM by onlytruthwins https://ift.tt/3nk39...
somewhere, a huge The Office fan is watching the show without realizing they are the Dwight of their workplace
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:18AM by Tyko_3 https://ift.tt/3C2P6...
In movies, when there is high speed chases on the highway, there can be massive carnage with cars flipping and exploding, yet the ambient traffic never seems to stop of get backed up.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 01:21AM by chiroaz https://ift.tt/2X93l...
Vampires may find different blood types tastier than others.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:33AM by DocSocrates https://ift.tt/3hhBu...
Death begins at 40.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:37AM by phiggie https://ift.tt/38RKF...
The entire world watched Truman jacked off or at least knew what porn he liked.
They 100% knew what kind of porn he watched. And people definitely wanted to make more of that kind of porn, just for him.
Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:38AM by Libra_Maelstrom https://ift.tt/3A12X...
For rumors about genitalia to be true, it would require someone to confirm they actually saw the genitals.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:42AM by Outside_Wolf_1495 https://ift.tt/3yZlh...
In all those movies and shows with space combat, someone could gain a significant advantage just by painting their ships black.
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Submitted September 10, 2021 at 12:42AM by nullstoned https://ift.tt/3hBNS...
Getting a police dog slightly addicted to narcotics might motivate it to work harder
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:09AM by Sl1ppin_Jimmy https://ift.tt/3to62...
If you replace the "W" in Where, What and When with "T", you've got your conclusion
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:18AM by Steak-Mann https://ift.tt/3zY35...
Your subconscious self-interests only serve the universe.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:25AM by HenDenDoe64 https://ift.tt/3DWuJ...
Understanding kids could be better understood through an interpreter.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:27AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/2X2lL...
Digital art will someday be on Antiques Road Show
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 03:28AM by rock_boffin https://ift.tt/3zRIC...
If the tag game takes long enough, it becomes hide and seek
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:51AM by AsterSkotos24 https://ift.tt/3hbU8...
The average of anything does not exist, including humans.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:54AM by StephMujan https://ift.tt/3nebY...
The more we apologize the more ineffective it becomes.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:56AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3hf9f...
Someone who "lives under a rock" might not be that out of the loop, because someone lifted the stone.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 02:04AM by yeetusdeletus_69 https://ift.tt/3lnez...
Looking back wet dreams must be the most over-rated topic on sex ed.
Maybe it's just me I'm 32 I've never had a wet dream. Maybe some of you are spunk your PJ's every night if so I am jealous. But my sex ed in school seemed to overrate the idea that guys will be having wet dreams regularly. several of the reading materials were also synchronous in describing the awkward circumstances of being embarrassed with sticky...
Being a pain in the ass can get you promoted
If we're sick of managing a coworker but aren't going to fire them then perhaps the next solution is to promote them to a spot where they have a different supervisor
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:06AM by OldAppleGuardian https://ift.tt/3hgQc...
From each of our perspectives, we don’t walk on the ground. We rotate the earth to using our legs and feet to get wherever we want to go, at our location.
Like a juggler on his back turning a giant ball on his feet
Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:13AM by NuclearAmoury https://ift.tt/3zWa5...
The composition of matter and energy you consist of was caused by one thing that you are a part of.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:19AM by HenDenDoe64 https://ift.tt/3neiR...
All your friends, cousins, aunts/uncle's, brothers/sisters that you love and care about will be excited to meet your kids but for your kids they'll just be random relatives they're forced to see every year. Just like your parents' are to you.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:20AM by BiguilitoZambunha https://ift.tt/3tsvh...
If you know how to read at least one language, it is impossible to imagine what it's like to be illiterate.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:24AM by echo6golf https://ift.tt/3toDB...
We really don't really realize how convenient everything is for us to actually exist.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:19AM by ScytheThrower https://ift.tt/3yUGr...
Not all books are worth reading.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:22AM by 2old-you https://ift.tt/38T4t...
If you could move things with your mind, it would likely take more energy to do so than just walking across the room and picking it up.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:26AM by EasyPleasey https://ift.tt/3ySHz...
We yell at drivers yet move out of the way for people.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:27AM by MattOnePointO https://ift.tt/3yULu...
You can Rickroll people IRL if they have an open window and a smart speaker.
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Submitted September 09, 2021 at 12:27AM by horse876 https://ift.tt/3DXUZ...
A tumor on your penis is cancer and reproductive harm.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:23AM by Dyl3700 https://ift.tt/2WXVy...
If humans didn't have a sense of smell or taste there would be a lot less overweight and obese people
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:24AM by dramakrispies https://ift.tt/3hbhJ...
Salmon is crazy.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 03:25AM by RedPilledCuckSlayer https://ift.tt/3nbqo...
All pieces of media with multiverses are technically interconnected
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:35AM by Strangermans https://ift.tt/3BPXv...
If Nice Guys really finished last, then everyone would be dating them.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:36AM by oocoo_isle https://ift.tt/3zSr1...
Cameron herrin case is more about the clash of the ideologies of tiktokers vs that of real humble people.. This generation is fukd up already
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:37AM by darelphilip https://ift.tt/38Rjq...
Buy to let landlords are just Scalpers, but they scalp homes.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:38AM by RedsonOfKyrypton https://ift.tt/3jRLx...
its ironic that a day called "labour day" is a holiday alot of people get to use to do avoid labour and do nothing
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 02:41AM by chungmyong https://ift.tt/3DYLy...
Shaking your foot or leg back and forth while sitting is perfectly fine, but doing the same with your hand or arm makes people think there's something wrong with you.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:21AM by Fritzo2162 https://ift.tt/3BPJv...
Super strength also gives you super jump and superspeed, since those require leg strength
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:25AM by xXBLHGXx https://ift.tt/38Ut3...
You’ve celebrated New Years more times than you’ve celebrated you birthday.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:29AM by Altruistic-radish45 https://ift.tt/3zZmS...
Everyone that has ever been born only lived in modern times.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by mackac2 https://ift.tt/3njch...
When your game is lagging, your character blinks slower
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by kid335 https://ift.tt/3tjN8...
The choice between blue pill and red pill is probably irrelevant as it's the glass of water that awakens one from The Matrix.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:31AM by lukavwolf https://ift.tt/3hdRk...
women's farts smell worse than men because their farts have a higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 01:32AM by nbhu2kiiq https://ift.tt/3ncbL...
Old Town Road will be fondly remembered as the 2010s answer to 2000s Rockstar
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:16AM by BigBlueMountainStar https://ift.tt/3jQSe...
A couple slices of pizza are a healthier breakfast than a bowl of cereal.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:18AM by ShundosAreCool https://ift.tt/3DSrP...
You can't feel thar your anus is a hole and same with vaginas (propably)
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:21AM by abzurt_96 https://ift.tt/3jT6L...
Because you haven’t died yet, you have no idea if you’re immortal or not.
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:22AM by freshredditer https://ift.tt/3A4Mn...
Clicking on an advertisement that annoys you can make the advertiser lose money
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Submitted September 08, 2021 at 12:30AM by Greakkan https://ift.tt/2X2gm...
Movies based on real life events (such as Titanic) wouldn't be as impactful because people would've seen real clips on social media.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:24AM by tweakintweaker https://ift.tt/2Yz0t...
There will be a last human to ever live, and he will just sit there with no one to talk to till he dies
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:26AM by Cheap-Owl-5338 https://ift.tt/3l5LM...
Horse actors are so unappreciated.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:32AM by StAethe https://ift.tt/38JQb...
It would've been actually very easy to know Spiderman's identity since the beginning if anyone just took one of the spiderwebs hanging off the buildings and made a DNA test
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 03:35AM by gibranferrer https://ift.tt/2Vngc...
When you die you won’t care because you’ll forget that you ever lived
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:18AM by _KittyKaya https://ift.tt/3tlCT...
Most of the donuts you eat are purchased by someone else
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:22AM by yohananloukas116 https://ift.tt/2VkTh...
There’s a cutoff point where making kids do work goes from “chores” to “child labor”
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:26AM by Nice-Violinist-6395 https://ift.tt/3thSQ...
In real life, super heroes would all have a period before the fight to take put their keys, wallet and phone
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:27AM by Frants416 https://ift.tt/2YrAE...
There is no such thing as a single tong, just a pair of tongs just like there are only pairs of underwear.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:28AM by bacon-of-doom https://ift.tt/2WWl6...
Marine animals are marinated all their lives swimming in salty soup.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 02:35AM by Vavous16 https://ift.tt/38N9Z...
The most suppressed of all emotions is weeping.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:29AM by ShivaKrishna999 https://ift.tt/3jQhW...
Reading “The subtle art of not giving a fu*k” requires you to give a fu*k about how to not give a fu*k.
There’s no way you can learn to not give a fu*k. It has to come to you naturally.
Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:31AM by spacewhite https://ift.tt/3jLaT...
Your parents probably hate to think of your sex life just as much you do about theirs
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:31AM by DaMightyWaffleMan https://ift.tt/38LB6...
Motion is movement, brain sends electrical waves, as E-mail is an electronic mail, Emotions are electronic motion sent from the brain.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:32AM by Opel65 https://ift.tt/3DPrI...
Every catch is a “good catch.” If it was a bad catch then it wouldn’t be a catch at all.
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 01:34AM by jdubsb09 https://ift.tt/3BJbr...
If you're a cis man, there's probably a trans woman with a bigger dick than you
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:27AM by Thai-Reidj https://ift.tt/3yQVk...
People born blind can't imagine colors, people born deaf can't think with their inner voice
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:28AM by sanylos https://ift.tt/3jMpc...
It's possible that ancient buildings could have made by another species, and the knowledge of human anatomy and human remains were from their studies, and they could have been cannibals, so they didn't leave a trace of their dead, or they had no bones that could fossilize
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:29AM by OrphansStoleMyKarma https://ift.tt/3zTny...
There have been people to be the last speakers of their language. Perhaps some only spoke that language, and were left alone with their thoughts until death :(
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Submitted September 07, 2021 at 12:30AM by PassablyIgnorant https://ift.tt/38IM7...