For the most part, people wouldn't think of cutting in line, let alone force there way in. But put them in 4,000 lbs vehicle and all bets are off

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Submitted October 01, 2023 at 03:20AM by PortugueseBenny https://ift.tt/2TxpO6y

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Creative genius is knowing when to stop variations

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Submitted October 01, 2023 at 02:06AM by flernglernsberg https://ift.tt/rmMSJPO

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two mind readers simultaneously reading eachothers minds are reading their own minds

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Submitted October 01, 2023 at 01:29AM by sajjolH https://ift.tt/wQhxvV2

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It is (and always has been) the Modern Age

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Submitted October 01, 2023 at 01:48AM by PolitelyPanicking https://ift.tt/MUt5vJp

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AI will put out of business all the teachers it needs to learn from

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Submitted September 30, 2023 at 02:10AM by micahel5363 https://ift.tt/ly2QkIx

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When you’re afraid of birthing pains only to find out pregnancy and growing a baby is worst (and labor is the light at the end of the tunnel). Please! Get it out!

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Submitted September 30, 2023 at 01:46AM by Tenten140 https://ift.tt/Ki7O5UD

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Men purposefully remain oblivious to the droplets that bounce back while peeing.

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Submitted September 30, 2023 at 12:20AM by freakgeek21 https://ift.tt/u7i4lRZ

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People driven by emotions are responsible for majority of the world’s problems

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Submitted September 29, 2023 at 03:06AM by cheryloo_420 https://ift.tt/fsJKATP

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The Harry Potter characters have never heard the Harry Potter theme music.

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Submitted September 29, 2023 at 01:47AM by sometimes_i_downvote https://ift.tt/oSRG1Dk

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All water is recycled sewage

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Submitted September 29, 2023 at 01:24AM by Alecmo1999 https://ift.tt/zqDZ85H

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Cashapp is the walmart to Venmo’s Target

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Submitted September 28, 2023 at 11:58PM by adtcjkcx https://ift.tt/hjJUNTB

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Obi-Wan effectively neutered two men in his life

No wonder they're so mad and hunt him down for the rest of their lives. That's a record!

Submitted September 28, 2023 at 01:32AM by hanniahisbananaz https://ift.tt/4EikoB1

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Unspooling a bunched up ratchet strap is harder than earning a doctorate degree.

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Submitted September 28, 2023 at 12:23AM by TheFlightlessPenguin https://ift.tt/9sI6ODz

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Under Glow on cars completely disappeared and no one even noticed.

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 01:06AM by Cichlidsaremyjam https://ift.tt/jcz06G7

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Maybe dogs bark at mailmen because you the junkmail and bills they bring make you unhappy

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 12:03AM by meltboro https://ift.tt/jNYk7st

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Every morning, millions of people in front facing jobs take forced, rushed poops because they won’t be able to leave their spot easily once they get to work.

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 12:04AM by PuzzlePiece90 https://ift.tt/pVHkafM

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Every morning, millions of people in front facing jobs take forced, rushed poops because they won’t be able to leave their spot easily once they get to work.

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 12:04AM by PuzzlePiece90 https://ift.tt/YGN40RO

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Accounts of failed assassination attempts always seem so stupid because the not stupid ones succeed.

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 12:08AM by officer897177 https://ift.tt/f9m8CP1

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Life without internal dialog must be how a dog lives it's happy life.

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Submitted September 27, 2023 at 12:25AM by rofl_copter69 https://ift.tt/Rv0lpCS

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They have to check the cash they gave you in order to return it to them.

And if it’s not the original, you’re fucked.

Submitted September 26, 2023 at 02:12AM by Gal_GaDont https://ift.tt/ULbjqyv

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Walking downhill takes more energy than falling downhill

The steeper the hill, the bigger the energy savings, too!

Submitted September 26, 2023 at 01:48AM by imakesignalsbigger https://ift.tt/8GnBXVR

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The feeling of jet lag never existed for humans until the last 100 years

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Submitted September 26, 2023 at 12:13AM by Meerkat_Mayhem_ https://ift.tt/2JWGh0s

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Mr. Beast is modern-day Oprah

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Submitted September 25, 2023 at 02:05AM by lame_excuses_ https://ift.tt/aUB2Fkm

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Technically plants commit interspecies sexual assault whenever they pollinate, and attempted murder when the receiving side is allergic

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Submitted September 25, 2023 at 01:13AM by UnreadableCode https://ift.tt/EfZv0u7

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Getting a blowjob from a cannibal is a once in a lifetime experience.

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Submitted September 25, 2023 at 12:07AM by Smartass_of_Class https://ift.tt/Y6jiIGd

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Plastic items do not dry as well as metal or glass items in the dishwasher.

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Submitted September 24, 2023 at 02:20AM by dr--moreau https://ift.tt/M8hVvxk

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VR might be the answer to immortality if they can do what dreaming does (turn 30 minutes of sleep to 3hrs worth of dreams)

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Submitted September 24, 2023 at 01:37AM by i7user07 https://ift.tt/JOUCr8S

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Douche is not a universal insult…

But it feels like it’s most commonly used in cultures that don’t have bidets in their homes.

Submitted September 24, 2023 at 12:18AM by mercurialred https://ift.tt/7NpFu8f

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Listerine is a mint liquor

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Submitted September 23, 2023 at 01:28AM by darknightrain https://ift.tt/IF93Zjr

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Everything is a cat toy.

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Submitted September 23, 2023 at 12:34AM by bobdig986 https://ift.tt/Tf8j09Z

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The most crushing aspect of training a puppy is realizing that we as humans respond identically to basic rewards and negative feedback.

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Submitted September 22, 2023 at 01:05AM by SloaneWolfe https://ift.tt/6JRnINv

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When your teenage self misses someone , but your adult self is glad they aren't around anymore.

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Submitted September 22, 2023 at 12:23AM by Cuddles_kitten https://ift.tt/Aa8Ig93

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People who really need love are likely emotionally unequipped to receive it when offered.

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Submitted September 21, 2023 at 01:18AM by MinmatarRebel https://ift.tt/T2QWxCF

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Someday AI is going to be pissed that programmers always gave it a stupid voice.

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Submitted September 21, 2023 at 12:15AM by ernbernalearn https://ift.tt/AKZ24Eo

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Cannibalism has layers, as in the lowest form is consuming breast milk or semen, and the highest being Hannibal Lector.

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Submitted September 21, 2023 at 12:22AM by BloodMC https://ift.tt/jvshbXJ

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It’s hard to understand a fetish that you’re not into.

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Submitted September 20, 2023 at 02:25AM by hearsdemons https://ift.tt/3B06xkW

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There must be so many more blood types for humans in the Star Wars galaxy

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Submitted September 20, 2023 at 01:16AM by InfinityScientist https://ift.tt/siCyNLH

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Technically, moonlight is sunlight.

So would vampires only be able to go out under a new moon?

Submitted September 20, 2023 at 12:29AM by MunkeySeeMunkeyDo https://ift.tt/lkPTr61

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Dealing with childish roommates is a good incentive to not bear children.

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Submitted September 19, 2023 at 02:17AM by B71381206C https://ift.tt/Sg261Zt

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The appeal of being extremely rich is that you no longer have to worry about actually being an adult.

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Submitted September 19, 2023 at 01:16AM by JoakimSpinglefarb https://ift.tt/RmSaXeH

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Nowadays a smartphone is a more personal computer than a desktop PC.

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Submitted September 19, 2023 at 12:03AM by Autofarer https://ift.tt/sLDSZAM

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Having children is akin to a pyramid scheme.

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Submitted September 18, 2023 at 02:25AM by dreamsofindigo https://ift.tt/NHOhw9R

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Saying someone isn't conventionally attractive is becoming a popular euphemism for just calling them ugly

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Submitted September 18, 2023 at 01:20AM by ShoutAtThe_Devil https://ift.tt/pPGsir0

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I'll bet Ennis Cosby preferred being murdered rather than living long enough to find out his dad was a serial rapist.

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Submitted September 18, 2023 at 12:23AM by patronizingperv https://ift.tt/X8jwS2J

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a vacuum that doesn’t suck sucks

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Submitted September 17, 2023 at 02:18AM by RadioactiveELM https://ift.tt/VmQ8C7Z

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Once you reach middle age, at a pace of one book per week for the rest of your life, you’ll have roughly 2600 books left to read - if you’re lucky.

Choose wisely!

Submitted September 17, 2023 at 01:22AM by PreparationGloomy658 https://ift.tt/Eraph20

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A light year is a different length depending on what planet you're from

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Submitted September 17, 2023 at 12:09AM by fuzzycuffs https://ift.tt/HIYin4J

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Vague rules make for frustrated users

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Submitted September 16, 2023 at 01:34AM by TheGrinningOwl https://ift.tt/NXY3Zk5

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Your car is your road avatar

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Submitted September 16, 2023 at 12:22AM by CrazyCatSkits https://ift.tt/VyOT8vr

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In space, doggystyle and reverse cowgirl are the same position.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:03AM by Jwitt360 https://ift.tt/CDs5JQY

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Having sex with a pregnant woman is technically a threesome

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:06AM by NSDsolih https://ift.tt/h8cmTu9

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Being a pastry chef and a cat owner is weird because sifting powdered sugar feels a bit like cleaning a litter box and cleaning a litter box feels a bit like sifting powdered sugar.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:08AM by flernglernsberg https://ift.tt/XVekLDS

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Eventually you go from having a work parent, to being someone's work parent.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:11AM by Knubinator https://ift.tt/nLfveUZ

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We used horses for transport for thousands of years, and then one day we started using dinosaurs instead.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:22AM by wils_152 https://ift.tt/znWaHpP

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The more likes a comment/post has, the more likely it gets liked again.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 01:29AM by LeotheLegend087 https://ift.tt/uzowqrK

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The higher your phone battery percentage is by the end of the day - the better your day was.

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Submitted September 15, 2023 at 12:08AM by YorkshirePud19 https://ift.tt/YPrS3ew

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Hundred year old videos of people walking on the streets prove balding isn't natural as none are balding in the videos

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Submitted September 14, 2023 at 01:24AM by TaxFraudIsAcceptable https://ift.tt/hkf5jgq

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The bikini and high heels combo defeats the practical functions of both items

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Submitted September 14, 2023 at 12:27AM by Old-News-3096 https://ift.tt/vC3QUYp

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AI can understand us more than we can understand each other..

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Submitted September 13, 2023 at 12:44AM by SomeGuyWithPlotArmor https://ift.tt/m7jrxTW

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There comes a point in many people’s lives that their significant other has seen them naked more frequently than their parents

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Submitted September 12, 2023 at 02:34AM by SemiSweetStrawberry https://ift.tt/5wKUZn9

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Conspiracy theories take hold because the mind doesn't have anti-malware

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Submitted September 12, 2023 at 01:21AM by chuckingrox https://ift.tt/A8S9hbi

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Horses are more like electric cars that need to be charged overnight, than petrol cars that when filled up are ready to go straight away.

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Submitted September 12, 2023 at 12:17AM by Meshd https://ift.tt/Hk4C29K

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People confuse left and right, but never up and down

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Submitted September 11, 2023 at 12:49AM by Unlikely_Book6273 https://ift.tt/ugoenkP

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Memories have been proven to have mass.

So technically speaking because information (matter) can't be destroyed...if you can close your eyes and vividly remember a past event in your life...you're time traveling in that moment.

Submitted September 11, 2023 at 01:05AM by ego_tripped https://ift.tt/Ka0DIlr

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Guys don’t mansplain because we think women are stupid. We mansplain because we like to feel smart.

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Submitted September 11, 2023 at 01:27AM by SubstantialBelly6 https://ift.tt/LDcalgT

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Car companies always talk about how quick their cars go from 0-100 but never about how quick they go from 100-0, which is way more important

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Submitted September 11, 2023 at 01:33AM by Deimos_PRK https://ift.tt/y0ClpVP

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A handful of M&Ms tastes different than a single M&M.

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Submitted September 11, 2023 at 12:28AM by RjayPL https://ift.tt/bwdmt8u

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We are closer to getting self driving cars than self driving trains.

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Submitted September 10, 2023 at 01:26AM by officer897177 https://ift.tt/oTRafB4

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Yo mama jokes are pretty safe as children, but the older we get the probability goes way up that their mom may be dead.

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Submitted September 10, 2023 at 12:12AM by Suspicious-Syrup-765 https://ift.tt/1lyT2oB

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Employees on salary get paid less when they work more

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Submitted September 09, 2023 at 02:42AM by myownpersonalreddit https://ift.tt/20sHO6c

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Comedy is great, music is great, comedy music usually isn't

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Submitted September 09, 2023 at 01:33AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/gAwMIb0

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North Korean hackers are the only North Koreans who get to watch porn

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Submitted September 09, 2023 at 12:18AM by DyonisXX https://ift.tt/57q0sAd

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People never think about how someone else's toes look like

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Submitted September 08, 2023 at 01:14AM by mester006 https://ift.tt/FLflTPm

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Just as parents create their children, children create their parents.

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Submitted September 08, 2023 at 12:47AM by TurtMcGuirt247 https://ift.tt/c3ku4fT

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All kindergarden teachers are pedos, but are not labeled as such.

A Pedophile is a person that loves children. By definition that does not have to include love in a sexual way. Most kindergarden teachers are therefore pedophile, no matter what sex/gender they are. Most parents (assuming they love their kids) are also pedos. There should be two words for pedos. One that just loves kids because they are funny and cute and another one for people that would love to have some sexual activity with them. Poor kindergarden teachers are pedos :(

Submitted September 07, 2023 at 01:25AM by Sidstepbacon https://ift.tt/D4a0q5r

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Autonomous vehicles will likely see a rise in profits for bars and pubs

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Submitted September 07, 2023 at 12:06AM by diddyd66 https://ift.tt/YAxv4o3

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It still snows/rains in the top of mountain Everest, even if it's above the clouds.

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Submitted September 06, 2023 at 01:40AM by _Aureolin_ https://ift.tt/DkPH05c

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The strategy of cleaning greasy fingers by wiping them on a cold sweating cup is as universal as it is unspoken

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Submitted September 05, 2023 at 11:57PM by boltzmannman https://ift.tt/8i3DuTA

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Knowing how to turn a cellphone with a physical keypad on and off is the true distinguisher between Millennials and Gen Z.

(Sorry this is more of a Work Thought, because I’m having to teach people how to do this on our work phones).

Submitted September 06, 2023 at 12:12AM by psngarden https://ift.tt/NXfUvBK

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Famous people really don't fake their own deaths all that much.

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Submitted September 06, 2023 at 12:24AM by djarvis77 https://ift.tt/Cc5NYRl

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Unicorns arnt’ real but giraffes are.

Kinda wild when you think about it.

Submitted September 05, 2023 at 01:22AM by Rolyat403 https://ift.tt/KJvyTnG

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the distant future may be highly biodiverse because after we go extinct all of our technology and waste will break down and become part of the earths crust which will create really uniqe plant and animal communities as well as highly rare and potentially useful minerals and gemstones

we have moved so many chemicals and minerals around even just in our phones and cars and stuff, not to mention agragate used to construct basically everything, beach sand, mining, plus all of our water drainage infastructure will fail and new urban wetlands will form all over the place. Life takes advantage of whatever it has available and water will eventually leach most chemicals down to form new minerals deep in the ground.

Submitted September 05, 2023 at 12:47AM by Nonshotcaller666 https://ift.tt/woj7b1A

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People rarely eat on dining tables nowadays.

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Submitted September 04, 2023 at 01:21AM by exporterofgold https://ift.tt/INgMpjh

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Blankets don’t warm you but rather imprison your own body warmth

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Submitted September 04, 2023 at 12:45AM by LineSpine https://ift.tt/YpdogRJ

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There are not many things more conspicuous than an inconspicuous brown package.

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Submitted September 03, 2023 at 01:32AM by QuantumHangover https://ift.tt/lgUp5mw

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We're allowed to hate as many people as we like, but we aren't allowed to love as many people as we like.

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Submitted September 03, 2023 at 12:21AM by 468waet3w4gf https://ift.tt/ctX0ZL8

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Freezerburn is kinda like frostbite for food

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Submitted September 03, 2023 at 12:23AM by Rozelia_the_Octo06 https://ift.tt/ng7Ry9q

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The next intelligent species that take over the earth will have museums of our bones on display

And really stupid, off-base info card placards

Submitted September 02, 2023 at 03:00AM by flipinchicago https://ift.tt/yZ8KsLg

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Catching a peek of underwear on someone can be sexy, seeing a bum crack is not.

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Submitted September 02, 2023 at 03:06AM by Rightytighty298 https://ift.tt/ZXVrvEq

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Gut fauna are dinner

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Submitted September 02, 2023 at 02:24AM by Unlucky_Tone1407 https://ift.tt/s9wX8Nk

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baby formula has made the only purpose of boobs to attract males

If women were given a choice would they still chose the have boobs or would they prefer to have muscles like a guy?

Submitted September 02, 2023 at 01:11AM by Alternative-Shame282 https://ift.tt/EQLRMY7

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Double-Fisting meant something completely different 20 years ago.

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Submitted September 02, 2023 at 12:07AM by TrimHer https://ift.tt/CSnTIex

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