December 2023 ~ Viral Post

As 2023 closes, there are singular people that have killed more people in one day than the most talented sniper and they have to deal with it alone.

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Submitted January 01, 2024 at 12:15AM by jerkenmcgerk https://ift.tt/CdBDr32

Color is merely a byproduct

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Submitted December 31, 2023 at 12:46AM by AntakeeMunOlla https://ift.tt/HWNZS2D

Humility being an almost mandatory trait whenever someone compliments you is a reason why a lot of people can't accept compliments

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Submitted December 30, 2023 at 12:18AM by giantfuckingfrog https://ift.tt/vyoCcq2

'Almost' can always be replaced by 'not'

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If something almost went wrong, it did not go wrong

Submitted December 29, 2023 at 12:24AM by MateBat https://ift.tt/X7YkI3P

You get judged way more for buying one beer than if you bought a crate

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Submitted December 28, 2023 at 12:16AM by sailor_stuck_at_sea https://ift.tt/Bzf1MuJ

The garbage man may be the only person who knows how much you actually drink.

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Submitted December 28, 2023 at 12:16AM by LucidCunning https://ift.tt/lhNz1XT

There's no such thing as saving a life, there's only delaying a death.

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Submitted December 27, 2023 at 01:29AM by darkslide3 https://ift.tt/6zX3Qwn

Caviar is really expensive, but not all black balls are caviar

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Submitted December 27, 2023 at 12:18AM by free-tailed_bat https://ift.tt/QqBU6Wb

Interested people are interesting. Bored people are boring.

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Submitted December 26, 2023 at 01:25AM by hearsdemons https://ift.tt/RoeYuf3

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas is a Christmas song but it doesn’t really make sense to play it on Christmas Day.

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Submitted December 25, 2023 at 11:48PM by BigWillyStyle2011 https://ift.tt/iOI7X5J

The more reclusive the spider, the more rewarding the flavor

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Submitted December 25, 2023 at 12:31AM by maestrozeldafan https://ift.tt/ESYZ0AJ

A lot of people piss in pools.

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If people can't wear masks during COVID then that definitely means a lot of people piss in pools.

People are absolutely disgusting.

Submitted December 24, 2023 at 01:33AM by UnID_Aerial_Threat https://ift.tt/Jh3UWPb

We imagine farts to be green because uranium is green

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Uranium produces toxic waste depicted as green

Submitted December 23, 2023 at 01:23AM by yobarisushcatel https://ift.tt/W3uIekx

A winner needs to stay hungry for success, especially if they're a competitive eater

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Submitted December 23, 2023 at 12:26AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/v9q4YCE

There's no reason you aren't a dolphin or an elephant or a cow, or another person. It's just pure chance that you are you.

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Submitted December 22, 2023 at 12:23AM by maestrozeldafan https://ift.tt/h94jc71

All the other planets in the galaxy are very hostile to human life, but we're trying hard to bring ours up to their level

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Submitted December 21, 2023 at 12:36AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/Af3CkJD

Targeted advertising doesn't work if you don't care about advertisements at all

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Submitted December 20, 2023 at 12:18AM by Cozy_Zone https://ift.tt/wMco3Hq

twentyfourcharacterslong is 24 characters long

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Submitted December 19, 2023 at 01:19AM by ssucramylpmis https://ift.tt/cH9ioTd

So it's totally normal for a guy to be named Guy, but weird for a girl to be named Girl.

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Submitted December 18, 2023 at 11:54PM by A_Game_of_Death https://ift.tt/a5nDIGo

There is only one true constant in life. And that is that there will always be more dishes to wash.

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The only way to escape it is if you starve to death.

Submitted December 18, 2023 at 12:50AM by MKE-Henry https://ift.tt/CpK2uGM

Clapping is a form of peer pressure

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Submitted December 18, 2023 at 01:03AM by False_Mud_1837 https://ift.tt/aVc8iyB

Your reputation takes years to establish and seconds to ruin

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Submitted December 17, 2023 at 12:21AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/If3vj7q

Shaving your butthole is easiest on your knees in the shower.

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Submitted December 17, 2023 at 12:25AM by Affectionate-Date-28 https://ift.tt/7zWByZ0

The high school class of 2018 is the only class to primarily contain both 1999 and 2000 borns.

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Submitted December 16, 2023 at 12:05AM by SquigwardTennisballs https://ift.tt/3UVWTJg

Whether you wipe your butt standing up or sitting down depends more on your arm length than your personality. If people with short arms squat down too far, they won't reach their butt properly.

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Submitted December 16, 2023 at 12:12AM by wimpykidfan37 https://ift.tt/yZpY859

Old people have a distinct smell that varies per region. That is until perfume/collong get involved.

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Submitted December 15, 2023 at 12:01AM by CameoShadowness https://ift.tt/hj935xb

Apple FaceID sees the world as full of people with double chins

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Submitted December 14, 2023 at 12:23AM by bemurda https://ift.tt/ecfC71T

When R Kelly dies, you can’t really piss on his grave because he might like it

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Submitted December 13, 2023 at 12:49AM by LevelProfessional938 https://ift.tt/0Gd96s4

The things we buy don't matter because we're addicted to consuming

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Do you also compulsively shop when you get bored? I theorize that most people don't actually care about what they buy, they're just addicted to consuming and the serotonin we get from buying shit. Let's discuss.

Submitted December 13, 2023 at 12:17AM by MiseryLovesShotguns https://ift.tt/OjLpWFv

Somewhere there’s a planet where you can see a constellation at night that looks exactly like the word ‘HELLO’

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Submitted December 12, 2023 at 01:32AM by Aquillyne https://ift.tt/b67Lsy2

For a dog, an elevator ride is teletransportation

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The other day the elevator door closed and opened instantly and my dog thought we had arrived in our destination on 6th floor

Submitted December 12, 2023 at 12:16AM by bellforges https://ift.tt/b2iYhkN

A giant douche is objectively a better school mascot than a turd sandwich

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A douche is not intrinsically dirty, until you use it. Like a tampon or TP, or toothbrush or any other toiletry.
Poop is always dirty. A turd sandwich has the connotation that it means meant to be eaten, making it even more disgusting.
A douche is more recognizable/legible as an object when making a logo or a mascot costume. A turd sandwich would be confusing like I wouldn't even know it's a turd sandwich unless it's labeled as such, otherwise it's just a sandwich with some brown sausage popping out slightly, could be a badly drawn pepperoni or something
It would be way easier to make a giant douce mascot costume than a turd sandwich
You can make the douce any color you want, and can be monochrome. Which is good for logo purposes. Whereas a turd sandwich u always need sandwich colors (minimum beige brown green red) to make it recognizable

Submitted December 10, 2023 at 11:42PM by Lvl100Magikarp https://ift.tt/jM1qG4k

Being rejected by a sexbot is far worse than...

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Submitted December 10, 2023 at 11:58PM by IndecisiveAardvark https://ift.tt/yDaI09g

Your clothes have been to several countries

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Submitted December 11, 2023 at 12:07AM by giantfuckingfrog https://ift.tt/HksydMq

except for six, all numbers contain the letter E or O.

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Submitted December 11, 2023 at 12:15AM by Morad2004 https://ift.tt/ySdlwXh

Insurance is a scam that’s really just a fee for existing. They don’t help anybody.

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Submitted December 10, 2023 at 12:26AM by weenisbobeenis https://ift.tt/v2dyrON

A bricklayer makes a sandwich with a perfect butter to bread layer, neither too thick nor too thin.

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Submitted December 09, 2023 at 01:24AM by i33SoDA https://ift.tt/BiFN6lt

Humans are mostly a sack of intelligent water

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Submitted December 09, 2023 at 12:29AM by pufballcat https://ift.tt/mCGJApL

There are animals who technically live their whole life covered in afterbirth.

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Submitted December 08, 2023 at 12:27AM by PieMastaSam https://ift.tt/FLiqIDk

Few things in life makes you feel manlier than when your mom is strugling to open a bottle and asks your help and you do it as if it was nothing.

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Submitted December 07, 2023 at 01:19AM by FullyAutomatedPoo https://ift.tt/sX3xPJ9

News that someone was killed by a Charger was not out of place in the Medieval Ages

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They referred to the smaller horses not used by the Knights

Submitted December 07, 2023 at 12:18AM by Lmysic https://ift.tt/goht07u

The world is a baby factory

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Submitted December 06, 2023 at 12:08AM by HopeCasting https://ift.tt/2QBYa5y

Orthostatic Hypotension is the closest thing to undescribable

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Like how a brand new thought can seem old and even nostalgic and old thoughts feel new and unexplored it's genuinely how I image cuthulu was imagined

Submitted December 05, 2023 at 01:22AM by TEAMRIBS https://ift.tt/vInTECJ

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