I'm desperate for answers that work on this. No one knows how to stop this so far!
I'm a calm dude. Extremely calm all the time in all situations save technology not working correctly in which I get a little irate, but never as angry as some games make me. People even usually think I'm too calm.
TL;DR - I get psycho levels of angry when weird, glitchy shit happens in games that gets me killed or otherwise influences negatively the outcome of something I'm trying to do. How do I end that?
Long but necessary explanation:
I enjoy the realities of being a gamer. Playing for 14 hours straight a game that just came out is pretty awesome because I have way too much free time otherwise. I have to really love the game to end up like that though. Here in lies the issue though. Technology just absolutely pisses me off when it isn't working correctly. I go from calmest guy ever to enraged psycho from borderlands trying to destroy an imaginary bike supposedly made of a new type of salad.
I'll put examples of my insane behavior at the very end of this explanation.
Here's the weird thing though. I go from totally calm to slightly annoyed, then from slightly annoyed to psycho in a matter of half seconds. It's unpredictable and ridiculously quick. The rage fills my veins and I feel excruciating emotional pain that only acting like a maniac could get rid of quickly. As a result I tend to inflict many injuries upon myself without even trying. At some point whatever I'm trying to accomplish in-game is no longer worth the extensive possible physical injury of my surroundings and I.
The slowest I've ever been to enrage is about thirty seconds. It was because I was attempting the use of coping skills during that time but in the end I still ended up smashing my head into the ground like a damn ostrich to end my painful rage. In other words, coping skills help and harm at the same time. Having to do them makes me angrier, but doing them will calm more than it angers. So as a result it takes far too long for me to calm down using coping skills before the feeling feels like it's become too overwhelming.
Examples of some things that can bring up that level of angry:
The brokenness of the Nergigante fight in Monster Hunter World. He glitched across the ground in a sliding motion, with zero animation and hit me from across the map with a close range swatting attack, carting me who had seconds before been hit with a head slam while I was standing literally behind him. A number of his hitboxes are too large and as much as barely tapping a part of him that shouldn't matter while he's attacking can knock off 75% of your already maxed out health bar through your obscene 250+ armor. Resulted in 5 self injuries and three broken items irl that I managed to fix with some work. Note, I have killed Nergigante before and with relative ease, but if he's gonna glitch like that I can't play the game anymore, so I actually had to uninstall it.
Losing in Absolver due to my twitchy hands, usually results in nearly fracturing my hands punishing myself for twitching. Had to uninstall Absolver until that problem is fixed and it may never be.
Losing last second to a stupid strong combination of perks in Shadow Of War. The 'almost win' situation but I twitched or something and faced the wrong way or whatever the case may be.
So basically, if I lose in a seemingly objectively unfair way there will be psycho levels of rage in the immediate seconds after. Includes physical unfairness such as due to my neuromuscular problems that I didn't have until I was 16.
I don't know why I get so angry about it. The anger itself is so strong and spontaneous that it physically hurts excruciatingly. It's like sudden immolation as my entire body catches aflame and my mind fills with homicidal thoughts that remain out of control until I do something about it. It is damn near torture to feel that angry. Maybe I'm just not used to anger from everyday life.
I didn't always get like this though. It used to just be maybe a bang on the desk or maybe a raised voice rant. I think this in particular started when 1, I was around 18 years old(I'm 21 now) and 2, around the time I started Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I'm extremely self-analytical so I know when it started, I just can't figure out how to stop it in a practical way.
Games I thoroughly enjoy playing but aren't worth the damage:
Shadow of War
Monster Hunter World
Absolver
Vindictus
Games my friends want to play with me but aren't worth the damage:
Any competitive-only game(ex. MOBAs, FPS games, RTS games, etc. etc.)
Things I've done when enraged at a game:
Throw my extremely expensive gaming chair across the room or use it as a shot put object out of anger.
Smash my slightly expensive keyboard a bunch of times with my fists (still haven't broken a keyboard yet though).
Toss my mouse on my desk or at my monitor.
Smash my desk with my fists until I bruise my wrist/fingers on each hand.
Slam my head on the desk or anything nearby an inordinate amount of times, full force. Yes, it hurts for days afterward. My record is somewhere around 14 or 15 times on a refrigerator, denting it. I'm not typically clear of mind enough to count so that's an approximation from memory.
Throw myself into objects/on the ground, usually screaming.
Tear my hair out(yes, entire handfuls of hair) while screaming obscenities in the fetal position on the ground, spinning in place.(Though this only happened once and very recently)
All of this is usually done around the same time depending on the level of BS I'm looking at.
So, reddit. What the hell do?
Edit: Spelling mistakes.
Submitted August 27, 2018 at 01:36AM by Leiffality https://ift.tt/2BVMzNE