It makes my blood cold, the idea that within a couple of lifetimes there won't be anything left. I want to be able to approach it nihilistically and say "Fuck it I've only gotta about sixty years left and might as well have fun," but I'm not able to. Looking at children or animals just makes me think about beings who'll be brought up 30 or so years from now into a doomed world, and I can't stand it. Thinking about creatures that existed before I was born that I'll never get to see is a point of pain.
I wish I didn't care and was apathetic to the struggles of whatever comes after me, but I just feel like they have the right to exist as much as I do. Being raised by older generations that loved and cared for me just fucks me up too much thinking about shirking the responsibility of being there for those younger than me.
Even watching lighthearted media, trying as hard as I can to escape this depressing reality just hurts knowing that joyful media like it will stop being made. I don't feel like killing myself in such despair, I can't go out with such a bleak mindset, by my own hand no less.
I know lying in bed staring at the ceiling with my chest feeling like it's going to collapse in on itself isn't accomplishing anything, but I know if I go and campaign to friends and family about meat consumption, power usage, etc. I'll be hand waved and told to stop being such a drag. Even if I go out and clean up beaches or lakes or what have you, I'm being outpaced by litter and pollution. I know doing nothing isn't right, I just can't see how to do anything that matters either.
I just don't know what to do. I'm not well-educated, so if I'm overreacting I'd like to know. At the same time I wouldn't like to be misled just for temporary peace of mind. How do I make peace with doing what I can to help? If it is all inevitable, which damn near physically hurts to write, how do I come to terms with that? Are there scientific strides being made towards preservation and reversal of destruction caused? What can I put my hope in if at all? I'm so lost and scared and cold and it's paralysing.
Submitted April 01, 2019 at 10:11AM by PalapaSlaps https://ift.tt/2YDjjCG