So a little backstory is my wife and I have been together since 2013 married since 2017 but we’re separated for a little over a year and just got back together last summer(moved back in at the beginning of December). We had issues after the birth of our first born due to a variety of things and I ended up leaving/cheating on her. We have been doing pretty good with everything and learning how to respect each other way better than we ever did before we split.
Ok so here’s the issue tho is she laid down certain rules and some of them were not to really be friends with the opposite sex, not in you can’t associate with them but more like no alone hang outs and that kind of stuff which I was fine but annoyed at cause her example was my friendship with my cousins GF who was a really good person to me while we were split and super helpful as an individual and friend.(absolutely nothing sexual) Also I should mention those rule/mentality is more due to her culture than the fact that I cheated/left her.
So fast forward two months ago I started feeling insecure about how much she was talking about a coworker and how she would value his opinion so much. I approached her about how I was feeling and explained that I didn’t feel comfortable with her friendship because of the comments she would make and how I thought it was a little double standard how I distanced myself from my female friends and she was texting this guy all the time. It was a very productive conversation and we handled it very well she said she understood what I was talking about and would respect me and limit it. Mind you i got more insecure and less comfortable the more we talked about it being that the whole reason she had him on text was cause he got it from her while we weren’t together. Every answer she gave me made it seem worse like I asked if I went through her messages would I get mad and she said probably but more just cause when you do that you usually find something. But overall I felt better and she stopped talking about him as often.
Fast forward to this week and I noticed she now had him on insta and Facebook which I didn’t care cause she just left that job. But we were backing up her phone to the new one I just got her and I saw that she has him on snap too as well as him being her best friend(who she snaps the most) and I couldn’t help myself but looked at the message she had just sent him which was letting him know she had just got a new number. Which means he is literally the only person who has that number besides me(until she updates everything)
I just don’t know how to approach this at this point. I don’t think she’s cheating on me or really being overtly inappropriate but I just honestly don’t feel comfortable with it. During our last talk I made it clear I didn’t think it would be fair for me to ask her to not be friends with him or anything like that and I still feel that way but I just don’t like knowing that I told her I felt insecure and she understood and BOOM best friends on snap and now have him on all social media.
Submitted April 05, 2019 at 10:19AM by ComLich http://bit.ly/2Ur4Z12
